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HARPER
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Ryan looks me over from head to toe, and my body feels warm all over.
I feel so much better just being in his presence, albeit the desire to touch him, to be held by him, is nearly impossible to resist.
But I don’t want to rush things and overstep boundaries until I know we’ve cleared everything up.
What if this ends badly?
Nope. Stop doing this. You love this man, and you owe him an apology, and then we’ll go from there.
“Are you going to invite me in?” Ryan’s voice brings me back to reality, and my muscles feel weak when I see the small smirk on his face.
“Of course, sorry.” I open the door farther and step aside so he can walk through. “Please come in.”
He looks around. “Where are your dad and Sharon?”
“Apparently they have stuff to do in the backyard.”
He chuckles. “Giving us time, huh?”
“That’s my guess.”
We walk into the family room and sit on the same couch. Unlike before, there’s a big gap between us, but I did that to myself.
I had this whole speech prepared, but now that I’m here, able to look at this beautiful man face-to-face, there’s nothing but white noise in my brain.
Ryan clears his throat. “Did you tell them about the baby? I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
I grab one of the throw pillows and push it behind me. My lower back has been getting worse this weekend. “Thank you, I appreciate that. And yes, I told them. It went a lot better than I expected it to go. My dad said you’re a little old but that he likes you more than Ben, so I take that as a positive sign.”
Ryan laughs, and I revel in the sound of it. Yesterday, I was convinced I’d never hear it again.
“He brought up the age with me, as well, so I’m not surprised.”
I cross my legs before uncrossing them again. “Listen, I’m truly sorry about the mess I created. And I swear, none of it was planned. Do you remember when I first visited you and told you that I followed you home after your practice?”
Ryan chuckles. “How could I ever forget that you did that?”
Hear rises up my neck and into my cheeks. “Oh my God, it’s so embarrassing. But I didn’t know what else to do. I was actually planning on talking to you after your training. That would have been the normal thing to do. But then you came out with my dad, and you two were arguing. And then suddenly, you got in your car and drove off.”
“Harper. I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t want you to know. But that’s why I couldn’t tell you. I was already nervous enough about that connection anyway, and I wasn’t going to chance making things worse for you guys. And for us. I just wanted to get to know you better first and then tell you. But then we got along so well, and I started to have feelings for you. I kept telling myself I’d tell you soon, but then time kept passing and it got harder and harder.”
“Baby.” Ryan’s voice is thick, like this is painful for him too.
I inhale deeply, pressing my hand over my pounding heart. I just need to get the rest off my chest. I want it all out. “I was looking at flights to see you this weekend because I was miserable without you, and I knew I had to come clean with you in person. Then you showed up, and you were so perfect, and I was freaking out, and then, well, shit hit the fan before I had a chance to tell you. But you know that part already. I’m really sorry about everything. What went down at the bar, and then that dang video. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
My shirt provides the perfect distraction for my nervous fingers, until Ryan closes the distance between us and places both of his hands on mine, stilling my frantic movement. I look away from the spot on my lap to meet his gaze.
“Listen.” Ryan squeezes my hands. “I’m not happy you withheld that information from me, but I understand why you did it. I think you’re right, it would have changed things between us had I known who your dad was from the beginning, so I get it.”
I swallow, focused on his warm brown eyes.
His thumbs brush over my knuckles, and I bask in the feeling it elicits in my body. It makes me feel cherished. “I’d like to think we still would have ended up here, but it might have been a different road to get there.”
