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“Yes. Sorry, Mom. Just lost in thought.”
“No worries. Have you found your answer, then?”
I lift my hand to my chest, resting it on my pounding heart. “I think I have, Mom.”
I’ve fallen in love with Ryan Monroe.
My mom’s bell-like chuckle sounds through the room like music. “I can’t wait to hear more about him when you have time for a longer phone call. Does he make you happy, Harper?”
I’m not sure how she knows just what to say or ask, but she does. Maybe it’s because it was just the two of us for so long, and we know each other inside and out. Just like I can tell if she’s happy or sad on the phone, she can do the same with me.
“He does.”
“That’s what’s most important.”
“Thanks, Mom.” A weight pushes on my chest, and I lean back against the wall and close my eyes. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, sweetie. Do you need us to come back earlier? It really wouldn’t be a problem.”
I shake my head, still trying to blink away my emotions. “No, you will not leave this amazing adventure because of me. You deserve this, Mom. More than anyone else I know. Please don’t worry about me.”
“Nothing is more important than you, sweetie, you know that. Say the word, and we’ll be on the next flight home.” There’s a bite in her tone that wasn’t there before, and it’s what pushes me over the edge. My mom has always been my champion, my rock. For the first time, it feels . . . wrong to experience these first few months of pregnancy without her.
A single tear rolls down my cheek, then another. I sniffle and wipe at my eyes before more escape. Her words mean everything, filling me with a mixture of longing and gratitude.
“I know, and I really appreciate it. But I want you to have fun. I’ll be all right, I promise.” It’s a tiny white lie, but one that’s necessary right now.
“I hate you’re all by yourself.”
Once I’ve got everything figured out and I know the baby is well, I’ll come clean with every single one of them. With Ryan and my parents. No more secrets. “I think I’ll fly out to see Dad again soon.”
“Do that. I’m sure he’d love that. And Mrs. Zimmerman can look after Bacon. Tell her I’ll bring her something nice from my trip to keep her happy.” She knows how to keep Mrs. Zimmerman happy.
“I will.”
There are voices in the background, and my mom says something, but it’s muffled. Then she sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry, Harper, but I have to go. We have to leave or we’ll miss the boat.”
“No worries, I need to get going anyway.”
“I’ll call you as soon as we’re back on land.”
“Sounds good. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetie. Take good care of yourself.”
“I will. Bye, Mom.”
“Bye.”
Bacon waltzes into the bathroom and meows around my legs, circling one leg before doing the same to the other.
“Yes, I’m going to give you your food in a moment.” I reach down to pet him so he’s satisfied long enough for me to get ready.
The phone call with my mom took longer than I thought, so I rush through the rest of my routine to make it to my appointment in time.
Ten minutes later, I grab my coat and purse and race out the door. Thankfully, the imaging office is only a few blocks away, and it’s a sunny day, so I put on my gloves and hat and walk the short distance.
The closer I get to my destination, the stronger the fluttery feeling in my stomach gets. I pull out my phone and text Ryan. I think I’m going to puke. Is this normal? I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous. Well, maybe when I met you, but back then I had alcohol to help me with my nerves.
