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Xavier didn’t press, but I could feel that insistent blue gaze on me anyway.
Finally, he stood, taking a few short steps toward me on the walk. “Who are you now, then? Which book is it?”
I closed my eyes. How did he always know?
“Jane Eyre,” I mumbled, knowing there was no way I’d get out of admitting it.
“Jane Eyre,” he repeated. “I’ve heard of it. What’s that one about?”
I looked up incredulously. “You’ve never read Jane Eyre? Isn’t that required for everyone on your side of the pond?”
“This might shock you, Ces, but when I was in school, I was more interested in watching football and riding motorbikes than reading old books. But I will now if it means that much to you.”
The idea of Xavier curling up by a fire with one of the Brontë sisters was enough to make me laugh.
Well, almost.
“So what happens in it, then?”
I sighed. “It’s the story of a young girl who comes from nothing. She’s brought to the estate of a wealthy man—Mr. Rochester—to care for his ward. Against all odds, she falls in love with him, but on their wedding day, his secret comes to light—that he’s married to a madwoman in the attic, and that Jane has no place as his bride. Heartbroken, she runs away.”
There was more to the plot, of course. But I’d only flipped through it at the shop, skipping to the parts I’d read so many times before, though it certainly spoke to me differently today.
I looked up at him, willing my chin to stop quivering, my eyes to stop watering, my entire body to stop shaking. Could he really not see what must have been written plainly all over my face?
“‘Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless?’” I whispered, reciting from my favorite passage.
Sometimes only another’s words will do.
Xavier blinked. “It’s a quote, isn’t it? You’ve just given me another quote.”
Cheeks pinked, I nodded. “From the book, yeah.”
Two large fingers slid under my chin, tipping it up so I was faced with the blue abyss of his starry eyes.
“I don’t think you’re any of those things.”
“Even little?” I wondered.
One side of his mouth rose slightly but fell right back down again. “Maybe little. But the others? Not at all. Poor and obscure? No. Plain? Try beautiful. Soulless and heartless? Farthest from it.”
I bit my lip. It was hard to believe.
“Why would you think I did? It was a restaurant opening, Ces, not a wedding. And there’s no madwoman in my attic.”
I closed my eyes, despite being held. The intensity there was too much. Xavier was always too much.
“I just felt…don’t get me wrong, Xavi. It was beautiful. You should be so proud, and I know Sofia loved it. Just like she adores you.” I sighed. I loved that she loved him. “I also know that I had no part in it. I didn’t belong there.” I shook my head. “I never thought I would feel that way with my family. Around my own daughter. But I can’t pretend she needs me quite so much when she’s with you. So I thought it would be best if I left. Let you share your victory together. You deserve to have things to share on your own with her. Just like I did for the last four years.”
Xavier blinked silently for a long time as he processed my words.
I sighed. Maybe there was no point in explaining this at all. Maybe it was time I just accepted the inevitable.
“It’s all right,” I whispered. “I won’t get between you two anymore.”
Eyes prickling, my vision wet and blurry, I tried to push past him. A hand on my wrist stopped me.
“Ces.”
