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“And then what? You know that we’re never going to have a normal life again. The Nazis won’t let us.”
“It seems that way for now, but you have no idea how God might want to use your nursing skills in the future.”
I wasn’t listening. “You’re going off to work with the Resistance again, aren’t you? This could be the last time I ever see you or hold you or tell you how much I love you.”
He took my face in his hands. His breath warmed my skin as our foreheads touched. “Gisela, listen. You know that I have to fight back. I’m doing it for you so you can have a future someday.”
“I don’t want a future without you in it! And you can’t promise me that you won’t be killed in this fight, can you?” I hated saying the words, as if talking about Sam’s death might cause it to happen.
“Life has no guarantees, Gisela.” He silenced me with a kiss before I could say more.
In the end, I conceded to everyone’s wishes and returned to finish the school year. I poured myself into my studies and my hospital rounds to help take my mind off the hopeless situation my loved ones and I faced. I concentrated on making beds with perfect hospital corners, taking accurate temperature and blood pressure readings, and recording the results on patients’ charts with precision.
At the end of May, the Nazis announced a new set of anti-Jewish laws. Among them was a law that forbade Jews to own property. Our Jewish landlord was forced to sell our apartment building, and of course higher rental rates soon followed. In June we were stunned to learn that the Nazis had invaded the Soviet Union. The war would now be fought on two fronts. Members of the Communist Party in Belgium immediately stirred up unrest with protests and riots. Sam was away from the apartment often throughout those months and he warned us to stay as close to home as possible.
More laws were issued in July. Jews were required to carry identity cards stamped with the word Jew. We were prohibited from riding on public transportation. When my classes started again in September, Esther, Rachel, and I were forced to walk across the city to school and back, taking care to avoid the main streets. I wondered how we would manage once winter came and the daylight hours grew shorter. Antwerp was under a curfew from dusk until dawn.
But when winter came, my worries no longer mattered. In December, I learned that I was no longer allowed to attend school at all. A new Nazi declaration made it illegal for Jews to attend public schools, universities, and trade schools in Belgium. And even if I did become a nurse, I would be forbidden to work in a Gentile hospital. Our community began arranging our own Jewish schools, just as we’d been forced to do in Germany. Ruthie and Sam’s two brothers now attended classes in a synagogue a few blocks away. Our old synagogue down the street had been too badly damaged during the pogrom to use.
After the school restriction was announced and Sam returned from wherever he had been, we sat at the kitchen table with Vati and Mutti one evening, bundled in coats to save fuel. Sam had turned twenty this year, but he seemed a decade older, forced into maturity by the weight of responsibility he carried. “I have more upsetting news,” he said. “The underground has learned that the Nazis have started deporting German, Austrian, and Czechoslovakian Jews from their homelands and taking them to concentration camps in Poland. You know what those people will face, Mr. Wolff.”
Vati simply nodded. Talking often started one of his coughing fits. He sat with his elbows on the table, his hands on his forehead. For the past few months, he had absorbed each blow to the Jewish community as a personal assault and it had weakened him further. I wondered how much more it would take before my beloved father would be knocked to his knees for good, unable to rise.
“It’s only a matter of time before they start doing the same thing here,” Sam continued. “We have to be ready. We need an escape plan and a place to hide. We can’t let them take us.”
“I agree, but how? Where?” Vati asked.
“I think the answer has to be different for each one of us. It will be impossible for all of us to hide or escape together. Gisela, I think you should talk to the authorities at your school and see if they’ll let you sit for your exams and get your degree six months early.”
“But it’s against the law for me to even attend. Besides, what good will it do to finish my degree?”
“Just ask them, Gisela. It doesn’t hurt to ask. See what they recommend.” I decided Sam was right. I wouldn’t stay in our apartment and wait for the Nazis to knock on our door. I walked to school alone the next day—my friends were too fearful of defying the edict to attend any more classes—and I asked to speak with Sister Veronica, the school’s headmistress.
“I’m very glad you came to see me, Miss Wolff,” she said after she’d seated me at a small table in her office and served me tea. “You are one of our top nursing students, and it would be a travesty if you weren’t allowed to continue your studies.”
“Thank you, Sister Veronica. To be honest, I want very much to continue. But this new law makes it impossible. Back home in Germany, the laws against us came in stages, just like they’re doing now, and each one made our situation worse. I know I’ll have to drop out of school now, but I wondered if I could still take my exams and get credit for this semester.”
The nun’s eyes looked sad as she listened. It was hard to tell how old Sister Veronica was because only her face and hands were visible outside the black robes and headpiece she wore. But she had a kind face, and I saw a warmth in her pale-blue eyes that had convinced me I could trust her. “An idea has been coming to me as you were speaking just now, and perhaps—” She stopped, then said, “Let me back up a bit. I agree that the Nazis aren’t going to stop issuing these terrible laws. I was talking with Father Francis, the hospital administrator, the other day, and we both believe the time has come for Christians to do whatever we can to help the Jewish community. I would like to encourage you to continue to attend classes so you can graduate in June.”
“But would it be legal for me to stay in school? Won’t you get into trouble if they find out I’m Jewish?”
“We’re a private institution, Miss Wolff, not a public one, so that will be our defense if we need one. But I know Father Francis is determined to do whatever he can to help, and so am I. You’ll blend in with all of the other girls in your student uniform. No one needs to know that you’re Jewish.” She smiled and patted my hand. Her kindness amazed and humbled me.
“Thank you, Sister. That’s very generous and courageous of you. But it’s a very long walk from my home, and I can no longer take public transportation. Our rabbi believes it’s too dangerous for Jews to venture into the streets beyond our neighborhood. Jews have been attacked and beaten in broad daylight.”
“Then here’s another idea,” she said. “You could live in the nurses’ dormitory until you graduate so you won’t have to travel back and forth to your home and be exposed to danger.”
My first reaction was to say no. How could I leave my home, my family, and most of all, Sam? Yet I knew it would cheer Vati and give him hope if I were able to continue my studies without the fear he endured each morning when I left home to walk to school. I wanted to ease some of the strain from his shoulders, and this plan might do it. Then another obstacle occurred to me and my hope teetered. “How much extra would it cost for my room and board? My father is unable to work, and I already rely on a scholarship to study here.”
“We could work something out.” Her black robes rustled as she reached across the little table to lay a reassuring hand on mine. “In the past, our scholarship students have agreed to continue working at the hospital after graduation to help repay their costs. With a war raging, the need for nurses is only going to increase. But that’s for a future discussion. Right now, I want to assure you that I’ll do whatever I can to help you, Miss Wolff.”
Her kindness brought tears to my eyes. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I will tell my parents about your generous offer and let you know what they say.”
“Good. In the meantime, I will pray for your safety as you travel.”
I decided to tell Sam about Sister Veronica’s offer before I told my family. In a way, I wanted Sam to talk me out of it so we wouldn’t have to be separated. Yet his answer didn’t surprise me at all. “That’s wonderful news, Gisela!” He squeezed me tightly and lifted my feet off the ground. We were standing on the landing outside our apartments, and when a door closed upstairs and someone started down the steps, he released me again. “You must accept the school’s offer. You must!”
“But we’ll have even less time together than we already have and—”
