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It was the last thing he saw before he tumbled into that beautiful insanity after her. Sensation after sensation piled up on him until the pressure of it shattered, and the suddenness of his climax exploded through his body, his mind, his soul. His hands tightened on her hips as he drove into her one final time, instinctively burying himself into her as deeply as he could, the condom the only thing keeping him from filling her womb.
He fucking hated that.
“No more condoms,” he rasped when he finally managed to catch his breath. “You and me... we don't need them. I'm coming to you clean, and you're the same way, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was dazed and breathless, the ultimate sex voice that could turn on an octogenarian priest. “We need condoms, though, at least for now. I'm not on any kind of birth control.”
“We'll do the rhythm method until you’re set up.”
A weak laugh escaped her. “The rhythm method? You are a doctor, right?”
That made him lift a brow before he reluctantly slipped out of her and dealt with the condom. “Yeah. So?”
“So, the rhythm method is highly unreliable. In fact, I think I was created by the rhythm method. I overheard my grandmother yelling at my ‘whore’ of a mother for being stupid enough to rely on the rhythm method nine months before I came along. Mom took off about a week after that.”
Just when he thought he couldn’t hate that old crone any more than he already did. “See? The rhythm method worked. It was your time to be in the world, so the rhythm of the world brought you into being.”
“That’s not what the rhythm method means. If you don’t know that, I think I need to get a closer look at your medical degree.”
“Ha-ha.” Grinning, he joined her back on the bed. “So the rhythm method isn’t as reliable as condoms or the Pill, but that’s what we’re going with. And hey, even if I did fill your belly with my baby, that wouldn't be a bad thing.”
“Whoa, stop. What? A baby?” She said the word like she'd never heard it before. Then she rolled onto her side and stared up at him as if he’d spoken in tongues. “Like...a baby kind of baby?”
“I don't know of any other kind.”
“But... wait. Why are we talking about babies now?”
“Because the kind of sex we just had is the kind of sex that could knock up a tree stump. Better question is, why aren't you thinking about babies?”
“It's just...” She shook her head as if to clear it. “We met not too long ago.”
“So?”
“So having this conversation now is kind of out of the blue.”
Oh hell, no. “Look at me, Hannah.”
“I’m looking.”
Yeah, she was. “Do you really think this was nothing more than a glorified fuck?”
“Of course not.”
“Or that you and I are basically a one-night stand?”
“No.” The thought seemed to chill her. “God, no.”
So far, so good. “Do you think you’re going to be happy to walk out that door tomorrow morning, ignoring the feeling—no, the knowledge—that we’re building something special, without so much as a backward glance?”
“No.” She studied his face intently. “You don’t feel that way, do you?”
“Hell, no. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of casual hook-ups and one-night stands. The thing is, I’ve never fucked a woman so utterly, so completely, I immediately start thinking about how pissed off I am that I’m wearing a condom, because the woman I’m fucking should be getting filled with my baby while she’s coming so hard she pulls the bedsheets off the mattress.”
That made her glance in surprise at the mattress corner behind her. “I did that?”
“I watched you, and it was the most beautiful thing these eyes have ever seen.”
“It felt beautiful. More than that, it felt like a miracle. But still,” she added, turning her attention back to him, a delightful flush glowing in her cheeks, “to talk about making babies when we barely know each other—”
“Yeah, timewise, we’ve only just begun. I get it. But here’s the thing, beautiful. I’ve worked enough in the ER to know one thing—life can come at you fast, faster than you can imagine. You blink, and suddenly all you have left are memories and two horrible words to be haunted by—if only.” He slid down in bed and rolled onto his side so that they were face-to-face. He needed her to see just how frigging serious he was. “I’ve seen so many people crushed by regret over things they didn’t do or say to the people in their lives. When you witness firsthand how devastating that kind of regret can be, you realize pretty damn quick that you never want to go down that road. That’s why I made a promise to myself a long time ago to never leave the important things in my life undone. Being real with you is just part of the package. I’ll give you time to catch up with where I am, but I’m not going to lie to you, or leave anything left unsaid. I’m sharing whatever I’ve got going on inside of me, with no regrets. Find a way to make peace with that.”
“I think I can understand that,” she whispered after a long moment of digesting what he’d said. “I just hope you’ll be patient with me. Before tonight and... and you, I was used to being alone. Hell, being alone was the world’s greatest gift, after being forced to live with my grandmother. In fact, that pretty much sums up my feelings about family in general. I’ve never given babies a thought.”
“You’ve never given any thought to babies, or moving on to that next stage of your life, because you're a workaholic covering the celebrations of other people’s lives. But once you get out of that party-girl grind, you're going to realize it's time to celebrate your own life's milestones. It's going to happen, Hannah, because I'm going to make it happen.”
