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Chapter FIFTEEN ~ Dante’s Past
I lifted the baggagefrom me after I finished my memory of my abusive mother. Only this memory was one that’s hard to forget. It’s the only memory I have of her being nice to me and treating me like a mother should.
Well, it’s as close as I’m ever going to get.
Dante now sat right beside me at the picnic table and he’s close enough to touch. His eyes were unreadable, but now readable. His brown hues shimmered with a look of understanding and somehow, I felt he could resonate. Somehow, I felt he just got it, but I don’t understand how he could.
Growing up, the way I did was like grieving something I could never have, but living with her every damn day. I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t escape it until I was old enough to move out on my own. Living out my life and dreams the way I had always thought about as a child. Never thinking it could happen, but when it finally did, I was home.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Cassie.” Dante breathed as he reached out and touched my arm. “I had no idea.”
“How could you possibly? We barely knew each other when...” I said, but stopped myself. I catch the words before I even speak them. Not wanting to rehash the past, but it’s already too late.
What the fuck, Cassie?
Dante retracted his hand and stood up. Retreating away from me and leaving me thinking I messed up. I shouldn’t have brought up our intimate encounter. Our night together. Our boiling one-night stand.
Now, I’ve gone and fucked it up.
“I-I’m sorry, Dante, I shouldn’t have brought that up and...” I apologized as my hand ran through my hair and my cheeks flushed.
“No, Cassie, it’s not that at all.” Dante exhaled and placed his hand on the back of his neck. “What we had was incredible and don’t you ever think I regret it.”
I’m bewildered by his words and caught off guard. I blushed even harder, but couldn’t turn away from his stare. My heart beat at a rapid pace, but my breath caught in my chest. Unable to breathe after what he just spoke and unable to believe it.
He thought that what we had was incredible. He never regretted it. But I assumed he didn’t care because he left without notice and just a few words on paper. I thought it was just sex to him and nothing more. But he never forgot it after all these years. He’s thought about it just as much as I have and couldn’t shake it. What we had we both felt, and it’s been with us all this time.
“Well, what is it then?” I asked, with confusion on my face.
“I’m not explaining myself right...” Dante sighed with frustration, took my hands in his and sat back down beside me. “I’m blown away by how much our loss is alike.”
He gazed into my eyes, but his mind went someplace else. Watching them change from dark brown to a shimmering remembrance. His face lights up at the memory as it takes him back, and he recollects. Traveling back to a time in his life where his youth got the best of him and the military was his entire life.
“I was only nineteen years old, and I always wanted to help fight for our country. It was always a passion of mine and I worked my ass off in the beginning. All the training, traveling and learning. I dove right in and moved out of my family's home. My parents never understood my passion for it and they disapproved. I could be anything I wanted to be because they had all the money in the world to give me and I was their only child. But I wanted more. I wanted to do it on my own and not through my family’s wealth. I knew they were proud of me deep down, but they feared losing me. When in reality I should’ve feared losing them.” Dante reminisced as he peered down at our connected hands and his thumb caressed my skin.
“What happened, Dante?” I whispered and watched his features change right before me. He became the edgy and rough man I knew when we first met.
“It was a cold, blustery day right around Christmas. I should’ve been home with them, but I wasn’t and my duty came first. It always came first. I just got back from a mission when my sergeant in charge wanted a word with me. It was very out of character for him and I knew something was wrong. But I never imagined it could be that bad.” Dante breathed as he looked up into my eyes with a cold blank stare and his eyes glistened over with the one thing I never imagined he could express.
Sadness.
“My parents had boarded a flight and left on vacation somewhere warm for Christmas. I assumed it was because I would not be home for it. There was a terrible storm, and the airlines lost contact with the plane. It wasn’t until hours later their plane was located in the ocean and there were no survivors. I lost them and they left the entire inheritance to me. Their only son who couldn’t even come home for Christmas. I can’t help wondering every damn day that they might be alive if I had just come home.” Dante whispered as his voice shook with regret and he squeezed my hands. “So, I understand what that loss can feel like. It may not have worked out the same way as yours, but I feel it every day.”
A single tear fell down his cheek, and he tore his hands from mine. Wiping it away with an angry swipe and standing up. This reality he had just shared with me explained so much. His dark, edgy side and the roughness about him.
The first time I met him, he was so closed off, but I knew there was more to him. It drew me to him and this is why. His past is so much like mine. He’s a broken man with a past he regrets because of decisions he has made. I’m a lost dreamer trying to fight my way through life because it gave me a shitty start. We both have lost so much and that’s our connection.
“Don’t you dare do that with me, Dante.” I raised my voice, pointed at him, and jabbed my finger into his firm chest. “You’re not allowed to share a huge part of your past and run away from it.”
“I’m not running away from it because I have to feel it every day of my life, Cassie!” Dante shouted as he raised his hands in defeat and narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m trying to keep you away from that and that’s why I left all those years ago!”
“Well, I could’ve taken it! I’ve dealt with much worse!” I shouted back as I pushed his hands away and spun around.
“Well, I didn’t know that back then.” Dante admitted, as he grabbed my wrist and spun me around.
“Well, you sure as hell know now.” I snapped back as my body fell against his solid chest and his scent surrounded me.
Making every part of me come alive under his forceful touch. Turning me on as I watch his eyes turn from anger into lust and I know he feels it, too. My breathing picks up pace and my red hair falls out of its messy bun. Falling around my face and tickling my cheeks, but I don’t care.
All I can feel is the attraction sizzling between us like it always has and never stops. Like it has a mind of its own and takes overall control. Pulling us together and our faces inch closer. Our lips tingle with each other’s breath as it mingles and becomes one. I can’t think, I can’t move, but I can breathe.
“Dante...” I sighed as my lips brushed his and my body burned for him.
“Cassie...” He moaned as he softly caressed my cheek and tucked hair behind my ear.
His lips are still soft to the touch, but he still clenches my wrist between us. And I know he still has that roughness that I love. His breath lingers on my lips, but he won’t kiss me. I can’t give in even though my body screams, too. It’s too soon, and he just came back into my life.
And I’m still grieving for my dead fiancé.
I pull back slowly as reality sets back in and Dante releases my wrist. Our eyes lock, but no words are spoken. The air between us continues to blaze, but we can’t give in. No matter how much we want to. There’s too much that’s happened and too much time has passed. Our gazes never waver as he turns to leave, and I just let him go.
