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What I do know is that right now my man needs reassurance. I hate that he’s had times in his life that made him feel less—like he wasn’t good enough. I know he’s felt that and I know a lot of that lies at Gabby’s feet. If I didn’t already hate her, that would be reason enough for me to want to beat the living shit out of her. She took an amazing man, who was screaming out for someone to understand him, to look through the bullshit to the man that he is and she added more shit to the already suffocating amount he was dealing with.
I stand up and go to him. I have every reason in the world to still harbor anger at Thomas, but I can’t. I love him and right now he needs me to show him that love and nothing could stop me from doing it. He looks at me surprised but smiles when I sit down in his lap. His arm immediately goes around my back, his hand caresses my thigh. The heat of his touch burns through my pink melon colored capris and I’m glad the matching top is a little thicker so it hides the way my nipples pebble at his simple touch.
“Honey, you need to stop worrying. We don’t know what the future holds for our baby, but I know that he or she will be loved completely.”
“B-b-but what if the b-b-b-b-baby is l-l-l-like m-m-me?”
“Then I will be the most blessed mother in the world. I couldn’t think of anything better than for our child to be like its father. A man who would risk his life to protect him or her, a father who is sexy, sweet, funny, courageous, caring—”
“My sp-sp-speech…”
“Is just one part of you and I know that it has made things harder for you. I hate that more than you know, but Thomas, there’s not a damn thing wrong with you. You are amazing. I’m proud that you’re the father of my baby. I wouldn’t ever want it to be anyone but you.”
“It n-n-never will be. N-n-not l-l-letting you go, S-s-sunflower.”
“So you’ve told me,” I murmur, still not sure if I believe him.
“And I mean it.”
“Does that mean you’re going to quit worrying?” I ask.
“What if he st-st-stutters?”
“What if he or she does? If it happens, then thank God they will have a parent who will understand their struggles and make sure they know how it doesn’t define who they are.”
“It really d-doesn’t matter to you how I t-talk,” he says, as if he’s just now understanding that.
“It never has.”
“I wish I could go b-b-back, Sunflower. I wish I could erase the p-pain I’ve caused you.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I just kiss him. Slowly I slide my tongue along his lip and when he opens, my tongue dives against his and the kiss deepens. I lose myself in the love I feel for him. I should worry that he can feel my emotions in the kiss, but I push my fears aside. It’s not like he couldn’t already guess it anyway.
“Sorry for the wait Miss Ford,” Dr. Clayton says coming in. Thomas and I break apart with a secret grin meant for just the two of us to see. “Although, it seems you are doing just fine,” she adds.
“Yeah,” I laugh. I’ve recently just switched to her. My other doctor accepted a position in Tennessee. I like her, though. Plus, she’s delivered a lot of babies, so that’s reassuring. The hospital here has a great NICU wing, too. That’s about all I can ask for. Of course, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about the delivery. I stand up and go back to the exam table. Thomas stands too and moves to the chair beside me. His hand goes wraps around mine and he gives me a squeeze.
“I assume you’re the baby’s father?” she asks Thomas and he nods.
“Y-yes.”
The doctor smiles and starts going through my file. “I’ve been going over the lab work and things the staff ran when you first got here and everything is looking really good. Your hormone levels and stats are all excellent. It says in the notes that your morning sickness has slowed, too.”
“Yes, thank God.”
Thomas squeezes my hand in silent support.
“That’s great. You may keep a touch of it up until your third trimester since it’s lingering, but the worst of it should be over. Do you have any questions or concerns?” she asks.
“We just want a happy, healthy baby,” I respond and I look at Thomas, letting him see that I’m not in the least bit worried.
“How about we get a look at the little guy or girl? I find that will always ease new parents’ fears more than anything.”
“We’d l-love that,” Thomas answers, sounding really anxious.
