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“I’m getting b-better. I don’t have much of an a-p-p-petite right now, anyway. I’d feel b-b-better if you were in a r-r-real bed.”
“Just give me this, Thomas. I need to be close to you.”
He looks at me and smiles. He slides over and I panic when he winces.
“What are you doing?” I screech.
“Making room. G-get up here, woman.”
“Thomas, we can’t. I could hurt you.”
“We’ll be c-c-careful. J-just need you in my arms.”
I drag my hand through my hair, pushing my bangs out of my eyes. I really should tell him no, but I can’t. I need to be near him. I was terrified I was going to lose him. I don’t know what I would have done. I’m pretty sure I would have continued my life being a shell of a person, and only surviving for our daughter.
I carefully get up in the bed, gingerly lying down beside Thomas. He puts his arm around me and I curl into his body. I close my eyes at the sweetness of having him this close. It feels like a lifetime since I’ve been in his arms.
I know everything is going to be okay. He’s improving every day. Today is the first time he hasn’t had to have oxygen and he only has the one IV needle now. He’s talking more and his voice doesn’t sound as weak either. Still, even with all of that, sometimes I wake up from a nightmare where Thomas dies and I lose him forever. I think that’s a fear that may stay with me for a long time.
“There’s my good g-girl,” he says softly into my hair as he kisses the top of my head.
“I love you so much, Thomas,” I yawn.
“You need sleep, S-s-sunflower.”
“You get better and we’re going to go on a vacation to a beach somewhere, where it’s only the two of us and sleep for days.”
“N-not sure a lot of traveling would be good for you or the b-b-baby.”
“Maybe a lake house close by, then,” I compromise. “Somewhere with just you, me, water and a big bed.” I yawn, my body relaxing as I hear Thomas’s heart beating under my ear.
It’s a beautiful sound.
“I think I can do that,” he says. “Have you seen King t-t-today?”
“King? No, I don’t think so, why?”
“He hasn’t been by since that f-f-first day. I w-wanted to t-talk to him.”
I kiss Thomas’s chest, closing my eyes and just enjoying this and taking it in. “We both owe him a lot. I think crowds make him nervous, though. He doesn’t like being around when everyone is here. Dad says he feels out of place. He said King has always been kind of a loner.”
“Yeah,” Thomas answers, but he still sounds distracted. I turn so I can see his face. He’s tired and I hate seeing how exhausted he looks.
“There’s time now, Thomas. We have time and that’s got a lot to do with King. Besides, Dad is planning that big celebration when you get out. You’ll definitely see him there,” I remind him.
Dad’s been planning what he likes to call a party to end all parties at the club. He’s moving Grunt up as VP and King to Enforcer. He talked with Thomas and asked him to become his Road Captain and Thomas accepted. I know it made Dad happy, but I think it made Thomas even happier.
“I know,” he says and I frown.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” I ask, worried he’s keeping something from me.
“I’m fine, baby,” he says, and he tilts his head a little and I meet him, kissing him. It’s not a full-blown kiss, but it sure feels good to feel his tongue slide against mine again—especially while lying in his arms. “Just a lot on my m-m-mind. I’m k-k-kind of worried about Dom, too. He c-c-came by on his way back to K-k-k-kentucky today. Something is b-b-bothering him, but he said he wasn’t r-r-ready to t-t-talk about it.”
“Do you think it’s because you’re staying in Virginia?”
“No. He looked… b-beaten. Kay-Kay called to check on m-m-me. She’s worried he’s m-m-messing around with G-g-gabby again.”
I stiffen in his arms and I don’t mean to. I know I have nothing to fear from her. Thomas loves me. I just don’t like the memories that name brings.
“Babe,” Thomas says and I look up at him.
“I’m not jealous of her. She’s a stupid cow who threw away the best thing that ever happened to her,” I tell him, and it’s the truth. His lips twitch. “I should probably send her a thank-you card for having a brain the size of a grain of sand, but she’s like a sleeping dog.”
“C-come again?”
“A sleeping dog. You don’t want to wake them because they’ll just cover you in fleas.”
He laughs, wincing as the pain jars him, but it feels so good to hear his laughter again that tears sting at my eyes.
