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Olivia is precisely that. The most wonderful and enticing anomaly, and I’ve not been able to get her out of my mind—not to mention my wretched soul. I fall asleep thinking about her. I wake up trying to remember that morning back at the resort when I held her soft body in my arms. Her skin on mine. And every goddamn time, I force myself to remember that Olivia isn’t part of the plan. Everything I have, everything I have built… I did it from scratch.
I’ve known hunger and misery. Loneliness. Poverty. The abyss of a meaningless life ahead.
I fought against it all by planning my steps down to the minutia. By never straying from the path, because straying from the path meant I could fall off the path completely. And that would be the end of me.
* * *
My office is bathed in a golden light as I walk in the next morning, but I can’t stand it. Too much whiskey that didn’t solve anything. All it did was give me a hangover and an extra dollop of guilt.
I was awful to Olivia. Absolutely awful. Offering her money to disappear… what the hell was I thinking? Not once did I take her feelings into consideration. She must be so scared. So worried about her future. I didn’t even ask her if she wanted me to be involved.
The painful pang in my stomach tells me I would’ve liked it if…
“Dammit,” I curse under my breath as I sink into my swivel chair and turn to face the river bend. “Dammit, dammit, and damn me, too.”
Olivia was right. I should’ve known better. My parents didn’t want me, and by offering her money I was simply repeating the cycle, removing myself from the responsibility of raising my own child. I threw my own out to the curb because of that stock play. What a ridiculous world I live in, that people can speculate and engorge the value of something with such ease… they can make or break any company that dares come into Wall Street. I played my cards right up to this point, but the game has changed.
There were so many things I could’ve said to her instead of the garbage that came out of my mouth. She needed comfort and reassurances, not a way to walk out of this place without putting my plans in jeopardy. My levels of self-loathing reach new heights as I remember the orphanage and the staff’s thinly veiled remarks about how I would end up going nowhere in life. I used to laugh in their faces. I used to imagine my future as a good and righteous, successful man instead.
Maybe they were right all along.
“Hey, Olivia,” I hear Tony call out from behind his desk.
I see her silhouette as she walks toward my office. I hear her muffled voice as she mutters a hello back. But the frosted glass won’t give me any hints about her state of mind. I doubt it’s pretty, considering my behavior yesterday.
The door opens, and she comes in with a hard look on her face. Her beautiful, cried-out face. Her doe eyes are puffy, her lips plump and pink. She’s exhausted. I did that to her.
“Hey,” I manage. My words have left me.
Her presence feels different. Heavier. Harder on my soul. Or maybe that’s my guilt reinterpreting her altogether. I’ve screwed with her on so many levels, I guess I should’ve seen this coming. She should break my heart, I would deserve it. Unfortunately, I broke it myself by pushing her away.
“We need to talk,” she says, and I’m getting a slight sense of déjà-vu. “Again, I mean. I’ve had a whole night to think about all the horrible things you said yesterday.”
“I owe you an apology,” I reply, sitting up straight.
“You owe me a lot more than that, but it’s not what I wanted to talk about. It’s about your offer. I’ll sign an NDA as soon as you can get Zara to draft one. I want to have this baby, but I don’t want you anywhere near us… And I don’t want to damage your company, either.”
“Olivia…” My throat closes up as I realize the torment she put herself through in order to make this concession.
“Let me finish.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I will keep coming to work until I get closer to my due date. If you send me home now, once any of my coworkers see the bump, they’ll become suspicious. You don’t want that. I’ll just announce that I’m pregnant, that the dad is out of the picture, end of story. It’s better and safer for you, that way.”
I sit and listen, in awe of this woman. Despite the hurt I’ve already caused her, she’s still keeping my interests at heart. Oh, I absolutely do not deserve her. She’ll be better off without me.
“I’ll finish the project as per our contract. I will deliver more demos and I will help with the FEMA pitch, as well. I will also train Tony and a couple more of your engineers to handle the instructional side of things. You’ll need operating manuals, troubleshooting videos, and on-site administrators to help state authorities with the implementation of Asclepius. But once the baby is born, Will… I’m gone. I’ll take Lilian’s job offer and leave Bucklow Tech behind. You’ll never see me again. You’ll never have contact with me or my child. Is that understood?”
Our child.
Damn, this hurts more than I thought it would.
I bite my tongue and wish I could just tear everything down. There is now an expiration date on this. There will come a day when I won’t see Olivia anymore, but that will be after I will have to watch our child growing inside her… I don’t think she planned it as some kind of hardcore revenge, but I can certainly anticipate my own turmoil. I dreaded misery, and Olivia just handed it to me on a silver platter.
Worse even, I can’t even deny her this.
“Okay,” I say, dry-swallowing as I stare at her lips slowly parting. “We’ll do that.”
“Good. Thank you. I like this job, and I want to make sure I give your company precisely what I promised. In order to do that, I need to be here. Up here, downstairs in the tech room… out lunching with Tony and the guys to hash out any irregularities. I can’t hide in my home.”
“I understand and respect your decision, Olivia. Thank you for thinking it through.”
