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Disintegrating inside me and numbing me so I can forget the pain. It allowed my body to free fall into crazy, sexy fun. He moved away from me and I opened my mouth wide, sticking my tongue out to show him I’d swallowed. “Good girl,” he muttered in my ear, his fingers wrapping around my waist possessively. “Come on, let’s dance.” You didn’t need to tell me twice. I loved to dance now and I loved the way I was free while doing so. I let him lead me to the dance floor and I let the pretty little pill work its magic. I danced with the guy, never stopping to wonder what his name was. The club exploded in front of my eyes in a beautiful mess of lights and sounds. I watched, mesmerized, as the whole room was transformed into a magical wonderland where I held Bellz with one hand and the guy with my other. Bellz’s mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear her words. She moved and mingled like smoke in the air, then floated away and then there again. I danced and danced and danced. Drank so much I felt dizzy, and the drinks kept coming. I never left the dance floor or his side but he kept handing me glass after glass. I thought I was going to be sick from the world spinning around me so very fast. I left the wonderland where I was with Bellz and came back to earth so fast it was like a kick to the gut as the cold air smacked me in the face as we stumbled out of the club. I was laughing. He was leaning in to make out with me. I pulled back, tried to spin around to head back to the wonderland the club afforded me and smacked right into the hard solid chest of the monster. I didn’t even need to look up. His smell and shoes said it all. I giggled as his hands reached for me. I retched and my eyes watered. He growled words I couldn’t understand, but I felt the anger rolling from him. The guy made some excuse and I retched again. I was going to vomit. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to spew up the pretty pill because if I did, then the little pill would stop working and I’d have to remember why I numbed it all out. I hated remembering what led me here. But I couldn’t help it. Before I knew it, I was vomiting all over his polished black dress shoes.
“Jona. Help her.” His voice was violent. “You, come here,” he bellowed out at the guy who gave me the little pill that made the world so bright and brilliant. His hands pulled him into his body, his eyes boring into his. It was there on the curb of Club Badlands that I stood wide eyed and frozen in place. The sound of fists connecting on skin, cracking under his now bloody fists. How could he be so cruel and heartless? ‘Because he is a monster, Brenyn, and he told you this. You know this.’ Bellz words slapped me in the face, they were so true. He did, he warned me and so did Trixie and Kitty.Don’t play with the monster.
“I just want to be left alone, leave me alone.” I fought… who was it? Jona’s grip. “Please, I wanna just feel nothing at all,” I cried out.
“STOP! PLEASE, JUST STOP!” I heard myself scream, as I felt warm tears fall down my cheek. I couldn’t bear it anymore. At the sound of my scream, he stopped mid-air, snapping his head toward my frightened one with a sadistic smirk.
“Sorry, little lamb but….” He paused, his wild eyes gone to a violent shade of yellow speckled with black strips, almost tiger like. My body, as high as it was, went limp with a crippling fear. Not only for myself but the poor dude who wanted nothing more than to choke me while he drained his cock inside my pussy… treating me like nothing but a cum toy and leaving me unsatisfied and his dick limp between his thighs. “I don’t think I heard you!” Killian spat at me, his features wild, animalistic and fucking insanely hot. Why was I turned on but shaking in terror? He heard me alright, his eyes said it all. The way his body moved said it. This is how he fucks with you, gets in your head and twists your emotions.
“Stop, just let him go. He didn’t do anything wrong.” He stared at me blankly. His eyes danced violently with a different type of anger.
“Oh, little lamb, he did though. He did do something wrong. He touched you and, little lamb, no one touches what’s mine.” I flinched away from him and deeper into the arms of Jona. The way he screamed his statement out had a different type of horror leaping up the nodules of my spine.
“I’m… we aren’t.” I shook my head. “Oh, fuck it. Killian, you’re fucking crazy.” I threw my hands in the air. My high was fading away, from the violence around me. The cool air slapped me in the face with each movement I made. I was trying to stop the monster of the streets of Chicago stop doing what he does best… fucking destroy people.
“Little lamb, all you gotta do, baby, is say it. Say the words and this…” He pulled the bloodied man up to his feet by his V-neck, that was now splattered in blood, toward me. “… will stop. The little prick will live another day and we will fucking leave this place and go home.” I laughed, I couldn’t help it. My buzz was still in effect slightly, the alcohol was swirling and the pills were dancing on the edge of my sanity. Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed but fuck, I did. And he hated that. He hated that he couldn’t control me, my mouth or my emotions. “Little lamb, when I speak, I am obeyed. When I asked you to give and I took it, it’s forever.” He stepped toward me with the guy held up in the air, off to the side. Killian was huge. He stood close to seven feet and as he walked, the toes of this guy (whose cock I wouldn’t be sucking tonight) dragged along the pavement. He reached me, the fingers of his free hand clasped my chin tight, pulling me slightly toward him. Jona’s hands were still clasped tightly around my waist.
“Say it, little lamb. I want to hear the words leave your pretty fucking mouth.” I knew what he wanted me to say. I knew he needed it. But I also knew that I was over men, males, the greater sex. The God like creatures, or so they fucking thought, telling me what to do. I pressed my lips tightly closed and looked him dead in the eyes and shook my head. The look he gave me had a pool of liquid rolling down the inside of my thighs. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak, but instead he pulled his lip between his teeth, causing me to suck in a deep breath. The amount of body alerting substances inside my body had me craving a different type of sexual violence tonight. He was turning me the fuck on. I met his stare, opened my lips, then rolled my tongue over them to moisten them.
“As you were then, sir. This is rather erotic.” I gestured my open hand in front of me for him to continue his display of male ego mixed with I am the king of the streets and will be obeyed at all times bullshit.
Turning from me to face his punching bag, he lifted his arm again, hatred danced with pure and utter amusement inside his eyes. He threw a few more bone crunching fists to the guys face, shattering what was left of his handsome, but boring, features. Blood oozed from every part of his face, mixed with tears and snot. It was absolutely shameful and quite laughable, but a small part of me felt bad. All this guy wanted was a lay and he got a beating of a completely different type. “I’m sorry,” I whispered to him before the last small part of his eyes puffed over. Killian dropped his arm, then let go, dropping him on the ground like a sack of dirt and stalked toward me. The arms that restrained me let go. He grabbed my face with his bloody hands. Staring into his cold-hearted eyes, I let out a shaky breath.
“I – I’m not going to say it, so don’t ask me again,” I breathed out. He was so close that I could fucking taste the anger on his breath. His lips curled up into a sick smile. Then he pulled me into his lips. Kissed me possessively. I shut my eyes tightly. He pulled away, went back to a serious face.
“You. Are. Only. Mine! Remember that. You belong to me. You know I will kill any guy that even thinks to look at, speak to, or touch you. Do you understand me?” I shook my head and threw it back in laughter. Slowly I pulled it back to meet his stare.
“Oh, Killian, when will you fucking learn you don’t own me.” This time it was Killian’s turn to laugh.
“Oh, little lamb, like fuck do you have a choice in the matter.” I glanced over at the limp body on the ground, then back at him. Stepping back, he turned and kicked him on his side, making him spit blood out. “Next time… you’re dead!” I’m only his…Killian spat down at the poor guy on the ground. People milled around, all watching the shit show that was me and the power trip that was Killian. Before I could even think, I was in the air and over his shoulder, as he stalked toward his car. The door flung open, I was thrown inside and Killian slid in next to me. The car sped from the sidewalk, down the street and toward Tribune Tower. Of fucking course, he lived there.
“I fucking hate that you do this shit to me.” My eyes looked at my reflection on the tinted glass window as we pulled into the private parking garage of the Tribune Tower.
“I fucking hate that you’re doing this shit to yourself, little lamb.” His thumb pressed over my fishnet covered thigh. I shuddered as tears rolled down my cheeks leaving black streaks in their wake.
“I need to fucking numb it, chase that euphoric numbness so I can forget how fucking hard it is to live without her and with them.” My body wept for it all.
