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He held my face in his hands, his eyes beautifully soft and dark and shining.
“And I swear on my life I will never give you a reason.”
The next morning, I woke early, wrapped in Asher’s arms in his bed where we’d moved to continue our reunion.
We have to be quieter now.We have a child to think about…
I suppressed a laugh. My life had been on pause for so long and was now suddenly on fast forward, and yet everything was perfectly right. Exactly the way it was supposed to be.
I slipped out of bed and drew on my underwear and one of Asher’s T-shirts. The house was quiet and still as I crept outside and took the short path from his backyard to the beach. The storm had blown itself out, and the sun was making its way from behind the clouds. I had forgotten to bring a towel, but it didn’t matter. I plopped myself right on the damp sand and sat with the ocean.
I leaned back on my hands; they pressed into the grains, and though it may have been my imagination, it seemed I could feel the energy of the island humming beneath me. Welcoming me, maybe. It had tested me and found me worthy. The water came and went in gentle surges, washing over my ankles, like an apology.
“I’m sorry, too, for calling you ‘godforsaken,’” I said, then laughed. “And now I’m talking to an island.”
But we made our peace, and I took in the horizon. The endless blue. I inhaled deeply, tasted the salt of the sea on the air, and listened to the crashing waves. Then footsteps.
Asher sat beside me, wearing a shirt and long shorts. That adorable frown was between his brows and his eyes heavy.
“Something on your mind?” I asked gently.
“Faith, I’m sorry.”
I nudged his elbow. “Pretty sure all the sex last night was to show there’s no hard feelings.”
He didn’t smile. “I still need to say it.”
He stared out over the water, lost in thought for long moments, saying nothing. But I could feel some relief in him—the worst of his grief had been purged last night with Kal in that storm, and what was left was almost sort of beautiful. Like the sun breaking through storm clouds. Gold light through heavy gray, each making the other more lovely.
“I miss Morgan. I miss my brother.”
“I know you do,” I said softly, my heart aching at the simple declaration.
“It was alwaysAsher takes care of Morgan.For our entire lives. That’s what I thought—it was my life’s mission to keep him safe. He’d say it too, that I watched over him and protected him. Hethankedme for it, which is bullshit because the truth is just the opposite.” Asher’s voice thickened and tears gathered in his eyes. “Hewatched over me. He protected me from my own worst instincts. From the rage that was eating me up inside. I channeled it into doing right by him because he was the best of us. He saved me just by existing. And then he up and left me, and I was lost.”
I said nothing but sat with Asher while he wiped his eyes with his shoulder and composed himself.
He turned to me. “I was so lost, I brought Chloe into the house after pushing you away and saying horrible shit to you, and I just… I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.”
“Neither did I. It was like there was a tsunami going on in here,” I said, tapping my chest. “I ran away, back to Seattle. But that’s exactly what I needed to do. I needed to go back and attempt a life there that didn’t have you in it.”
He shook his head. “I can’t ask you to—”
“Don’t. I’m here.” I smiled. “Ask me something else.”
He inhaled a ragged breath and nodded, then reached into his pocket to pull out the black velvet box.
“That looks familiar,” I managed lightly, though my heart was racing. “Have you been rummaging in my carry-on?”
He smirked. “You left your bag open, and it was sitting right on top.”
“Can you blame a girl? I’ve been dying of curiosity for weeks.”
“I lost track of it,” Asher said, turning the box over in his hands. “I lost track of a lot of things but not how I feel about you.” Then he frowned. “Wait, you haven’t looked at it?”
“Nope, and I think we need to take a moment to appreciate the Herculean amount of willpower I have exhibited on that front.”
He laughed and shook his head. “God, Faith. How can I laugh right now? How can I be so crazy in love with you when my heart feels like it’s been trampled a thousand times?”
