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Asher’s lips made a line. “I know. That’s what he does. But…Jesus, Faith, can you slow down before you hurt yourself? Talk to me—”
We’d arrived at the front of the school, and I stopped and whirled on him.
“Why? What do you want me to say, Asher? You don’t want me to know your whole story or see where you live, but we can fuck all night long and—”
“No, that’s not it,” he shot back. “I…I’m pissed at Morgan because it’s easier than feeling whatever the hell I’m feeling now. That’s all. And it’s not like you’ve spilled your guts to me about your childhood or—”
“Because there’s nothing to tell! It sucked, my parents are awful and…”
And I had no clue what having a real family felt like. But that didn’t mean I needed to hijack Asher’s.
I shook my head. “Look, I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing either, but I’m leaving in two days so I shouldn’t be sitting there, listening to private stories of your past with your beloved grandmother and your sweet little nephew…” I swallowed hard. “I…I don’t belong here.” Tears were gathering but I refused to cry over him or any man. I heaved a steadying breath. “It’s all gotten too personal and too messy. I think we both need to admit that it was a mistake and…say our goodbyes now.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Christ.”
“Go back to the picnic. Be with Kal. Be with Chloe. I think she’d like that.”
His eyes flared. “Fucking hell, Faith, really?”
“She’s pretty and she likes you, and you and I aren’t…anything.”
His pained expression dropped like a mask and he stiffened. “Right,” he said stonily. “We’re not anything.”
“We aren’tpossible.” I shook my head, my tone softening. “This has been pretty wonderful, but I can’t, you can’t,wejust…can’t. And you know it.”
He crossed his arms. I hugged mine. Time stood still for a few moments, and I held my breath. Waiting. Then he nodded and that sort of broke my heart.
What did you expect? He’d leave his beautiful family and run away with you to Seattle? Or are you willing to skip the flight home and stay here?
No, I had to be level-headed for a change. Responsible. Not the flighty, impulsive, unreliable person I’d been, but a woman who was trying to get control of her life and make something with it, independent of any man. Especially not a man I’d known for a handful of days.
Another thought tried to break through my cold rationale to whisper that Asher Mackey wasn’t just any man, but I couldn’t let it.
“I’ll call an Uber,” I said into the silence. “Go.Go,” I said gently but firmly when he didn’t move. I mustered a wavering smile. “They’re waiting.”
Asher’s face was stony still, but conflict raged behind his eyes. Finally, he nodded and walked away. I watched him go, feeling as if he were carrying some essential part of me and I’d never get it back.
Nope, it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine fine fine…
My fingers trembled as I called the Uber. It took twenty minutes to arrive, and though the front entry to the school was quiet and empty, I knew my firefighter was watching the entire time to make sure I was safe.
I spent Saturday on the beach, sitting in a chair and watching the waves crash. When I thought I’d drown in my own thoughts, I grabbed my phone and called Silas Marsh.
“Hey, Faith, what’s up? How’s—?”
“When did you know?” I blurted.
“Sorry? When did I know what?”
“You and Max. When did you know there was something between you?”
“I don’t know, ten milliseconds after meeting him? Not that I could admit it to myself…”
I groaned and held my head in my hands.
“Wrong answer?”
“Yes,” I said. “You’re supposed to tell me real things take time and anything else is just a temporary infatuation.”
