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Things had been calm – too calm for mine and James’s liking. We felt like we were sitting on the edge of our seats, waiting for something – anything – to happen, especially since James had submitted proof of the sex trafficking ring to the proper government officials.
It was only a matter of time before everything became a shit show, and we were doing our best to be prepared for it all.
I jerked awake, my hand instantly reaching for my gun when I felt Juliana rush out of bed. I quickly released my pistol and hopped off the bed, rushing after her, my first instinct to be by her side, everything else be damned.
She quickly dropped in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach. I grabbed a hair tie and pulled her hair back into a low, messy ponytail before wrapping my body around hers, whispering soothing words to her as she got sick again.
Once she was done, she leaned her head on the side of the toilet, a low groan sliding from her throat. I brushed my lips to her forehead. “Let me get you back to bed, baby girl,” I said softly, sliding my arms beneath her to lift her against my chest.
“No,” she protested, shaking her head. “I still feel really sick.”
I released her and pressed my hand to her forehead. She wasn’t running a fever. I worriedly ran my eyes over her. “I’m going to run down to the kitchen to get you some crackers and ginger ale,” I told her. “You going to be okay while I’m gone?”
She nodded, aiming a weak smile at me, but I saw right through it. She wasn’t feeling good at all.
I gently squeezed her thigh before I stood and yanked on a pair of sweats, sliding my feet into my slides before jogging down the stairs.
James was leaning against the kitchen counter drinking a protein shake. He arched an eyebrow at me. “You ever heard of clothes, brother?” he asked me.
I rolled my eyes at him as I walked over to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of ginger ale before walking over to the pantry to grab a pack of saltine crackers. “Juliana is sick,” I told him. “She’s throwing up pretty badly.”
“Is she pregnant?” he bluntly asked me.
I spun around to face him in shock. I hadn’t expected his words, and that thought had never entered my mind. He evenly met my gaze. I stayed silent, mulling over the possibility in my head. She was supposed to be on birth control, but I knew that wasn’t a hundred percent effective.
She very well could be.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “Shit.”
James inclined his head to me, understanding in his eyes. “You know how to reach me if you need me,” he said as he strode out of the kitchen.
Shaking my head, I quickly rushed up the stairs. I would wait to see if her sickness passed. If it didn’t, I would text Emmaline for a couple of pregnancy tests.
I wasn’t freaked out by the possibility of being a dad. Honestly, it was kind of exciting.
But I wasn’t sure how Juliana would feel about a baby. She had never spoken about children, and she clammed up whenever Carter came near her.
I didn’t think the possibility of being pregnant was going to be easy for her to swallow.
When I stepped into our room again, I could hear her throwing up. I quickly rushed into the bathroom and rubbed her back, talking to her in a low, soothing tone. After, I flushed the toilet and handed her the open bottle of ginger ale. She slowly took a sip, gagging afterward. I pushed the crackers aside for the time being. She needed to hold down the ginger ale first.
Needing to know if she was pregnant or not, especially when she still looked so pale but had no fever to speak of, I texted Emmaline, asking her for a couple of pregnancy tests. I was hoping like hell she had some so I wouldn’t have to run to the store and leave Juliana here – or worse, take her with me while she was feeling sick.
Then, I just held Juliana in my arms, rubbing her belly in gentle circles to try to help calm it.
~*~*~
Juliana was asleep on the bed when a knock came on my door later that day. I quickly opened it. James held out a box of pregnancy tests to me.
“Possibility?” he quietly asked me. I nodded in response, letting him into the room.
“How do you feel about being a possible dad?” James asked me, his voice low so we wouldn’t wake Juliana.
I shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me any. Not all of us had fears of having kids,” I teased. He rolled his eyes at me. I knew he’d had a hard time swallowing the pill of becoming a dad while supporting Emmaline. He loved his wife so much that he had faced his own fears for her. “But I don’t think she’s going to handle it too well. She’s extremely dependent on me.”
He clapped a hand to my shoulder. “You’ll figure it out, brother.”
I nodded. He left the room a moment later, giving us some privacy. I walked over to Juliana, gently shaking her awake. She groaned, looking up at me through bleary, sleepy eyes. “Baby girl, I need you to do something for me.”
She slowly sat up. “What?” she mumbled. She hadn’t been sick for a few hours now, but I knew she was exhausted. It had to be mentally draining for her to be ill.
I handed her the box of pregnancy tests, my eyes glued to her face as she looked down at it.
Her face paled, and her eyes shot back up to mine. Fear lingered in their depths. Tears sprang to her beautiful, dark eyes, and she sobbed as they quickly rolled down her cheeks. I quickly pulled her into my arms, taking a seat on the bed so I could hold her on my lap.
“No,” she cried. “I can’t be pregnant,” she sobbed.
I ran my hand over her hair. “Easy, little girl,” I rumbled. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I can’t share you,” she cried. My heart broke in my chest for her. I tightened my arms around her. “I’m not ready.”
I cupped her face in my hands, forcing her eyes to lock on mine. “We can’t make any kind of decision or make any plans until we know for certain if you are carrying my baby or not,” I tried soothing her. I brushed my thumbs over her cheeks, hating the broken look in her eyes. “I need you to be strong for me, baby girl. I need you to be my good girl and go take those tests.”
She shook her head at me, defying me for the first time. I growled in displeasure. “Now, Juliana,” I rumbled, knowing she would heed my command. “Or I will turn you over my knees,” I promised.
Sniffling, she got off my lap and walked to the bathroom, the box clutched tightly in her hand. I leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees as I dropped my face into my hands.
I can’t share you.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Those words had gutted me.
Juliana was blossoming more and more every single day, but she still relied on me so much. I didn’t mind, but this baby could change everything, or at least, it would in her head.
For me, my entire world would still revolve around her. I would never spend any less time with her. I would still take care of her.
She was mine. She would always be mine.
I would never make her feel like she meant any less to me, and I would never give her less than what I was giving her right now. I promised her I would always take care of her. I put the anklet around her ankle as a symbol of that promise. Baby or no baby, she would still get every part of me, even if I had to hire a nanny.
I would do what I needed to make sure Juliana was taken care of. But I was just hoping that if she was pregnant, I could warm her up to the idea of being a mother, show her that no matter what, I was still all hers.
