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“Your town is fucked, man,” he said, shaking his head.
“Yeah, it’s got a complicated history for sure. Keeps shit interesting.”
“You earn her bloodthirst?” he asked.
To that, I took a deep breath, looking out at the waves once again, finding them a little more violent than a moment before. Much like the shit going on in my head, I guess.
“That’s a yeah,” Voss said, letting out a snort. “What’d you do?”
“Like our town, it’s a little complicated. But it boils down to her dating another guy in the town. Jase Mallick.”
“Mallick,” Voss repeated. “The loansharks?”
“Yeah, but back then, Jase wasn’t in the family business yet. He was just a guy who had locked down Louana.”
“Let me guess, you couldn’t keep your hands off what was his.”
“She wasn’t his. I mean, she was, but Lulu wasn’t ever a cheater. She got clear of him before she let me move in.”
“And then?”
“And then I moved in. For a couple weeks.” A couple of all-consuming, overwhelming, almost terrifying in its intensity weeks.
“And then?” Voss asked again, tone rough, wanting me to get to the point.
“And then I packed up my shit one morning and peeled out of town.”
I turned to face him then, trying to gauge his reaction. I should have known better. Voss had a killer fucking poker face. The only time you could really read him was when he was pissed.
“Without saying shit,” Voss concluded.
I exhaled hard at that. “Yeah. Without saying shit.”
“Kinda cool with her bleeding you dry,” Voss said, shocking the shit out of me.
I mean, the man liked women. As a sort of hobby. A good time. But I’d never known him to have any sort of actual attachment to them.
So him siding with a woman he didn’t know was surprising to say the least.
“I’m not the most civil of men,” he said, sensing my shock. “But I figure that shit isn’t how it works when you give a shit about someone. Unless you didn’t give a shit about her.”
“I did,” I told him. “And you’re right. It was a fucked thing to do.”
“So, let me ask again,” he said, pinning me with a hard look. “She what you’ve been running from all these years?”
“To an extent, I guess,” I admitted for the first time aloud. Or even to myself.
“And running away from the shithead version of you who’d do that kind of thing?” he asked.
Voss was not known for having a filter. He didn’t weigh his words or bite his tongue. It rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, and I could see why.
I’d always found him kind of refreshing.
“Yeah, think that might be part of it too,” I agreed, thinking of the careless, selfish, and scared asshole I’d been back then.
“Got a chance to prove you’re not him anymore,” he said, shrugging.
“Yeah, if she’ll let me,” I agreed. “Lulu isn’t exactly… reasonable. Or level-headed,” I added, thinking of her quick temper. I used to marvel at the way it would burn bright, consuming everything in its path, and how I somehow never ended up burnt in the process, even when I was who got in the way of her anger and her target at times.
