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Ugh, my fucking lady parts. While I do not want a dick, I wish people would stop worrying about what is between my legs and on my chest and focus on how I fucking rock on the ice. That I can shoot harder than most boys. That I’m quicker, smarter, and that I am better. I know it, my dad does, and even my teammates know it, but still scouts and owners are nervous. It’s so frustrating, but I can’t worry about all that right now. Not with the bomb Jace just dropped on us.
“Just upset,” I say, my throat thick with emotion. “It’s my fault.”
Looking at me, puzzled, he asks, “Say what?”
“It’s a
ll my fault,” I say, and then the tears start to roll down my face.
“Whoa, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m the one hurt here,” Jace hollers at me, coming over and hip checking Jayden out of the way. “Why you making her cry?”
Shaking my head, I watch as most of the guys all step up, ready to murder someone, and then I’m just sobbing. They all mean so much to me, minus a few, and to know they have my back is just overwhelming. I never had this before. Never, and I really don’t know how to handle the way it makes me feel. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around Jace’s waist and I cry into his good shoulder as he pats my back.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Jace. Why did you do it? I could have taken the hit!” I say into his chest. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have taunted him the way I did.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” he agrees, pushing me back so he can look at me. “But I did it because you are my friend, my teammate, and I will protect you. If his hit did this to me, imagine what it would have done to you?”
“I would have taken it though. Now you’re out,” I sob, choking on my words, and he shakes his head.
“I’m out this year, but there is next year, and then I’ll be up there with you, probably protecting your psycho ass there too.”
As his green eyes hold mine, I know he has no regrets. He did what he felt was right, and I can’t fault him for it. He also believes the words he just uttered, and that alone has me bawling my eyes out because I don’t even believe in myself right now.
“I’m really sorry,” I whisper, and he shakes his head.
“Take it easy, Moore,” he demands. “And please stop crying, it’s freaking me out.” I laugh as I suck in a breath, wiping my face, and he says, “You know, you’d do it for me.”
His faith in me is overwhelming. How does he just assume I would?
“I would,” I admit, and it was so easy. When did he start to matter this much? How do the Sinclair boys just wiggle in and take over the way they do? It’s utterly insane, but I love them. I love them all. Who would have thought this would have happened? Not me, for sure. “I’d do it for any of you guys.”
Markus reaches out, a grin on his face as he nods, “We know, Moore, that’s why we love you.”
Reaching out, Jace hugs me again and then taps my arm. “Now suck it up, buttercup, and get to work ’cause you’re gonna have to pick up my slack. Lord knows Markus can’t,” he teases and Markus glares.
“Don’t make me break your other arm.”
“Typical response from a typical wack-ass dude!” Jace yells back, and I laugh.
Yeah, my life may be up in the air, but at least I have my friends. And when I glance over at Jayden, who is watching me with those eyes that show everything, I know I’ll always have him.
And really, that’s all I want.
Oh, and to go into the draft.
And to be in the NHL.
But hey, baby steps, and at least I’m accepting people now.
Progress, I feel. Progress.
Walking out of the kitchen and down the stairs with Jayden trailing me, I enter my room and he comes in behind me, shutting the door before taking me in his arms and kissing my neck.
“You feel better?” he mutters against my neck, and I shrug. “What else is wrong?” he asks as I pull him to my bed and then down onto it beside me. Bringing my legs up, I press them to his stomach as I hold him, needing his support and his heat. It’s cold as hell out! I’ve decided that I hate Tennessee winters.
Closing my eyes, I burrow my nose into his chest as his arms come around me, holding me in close. “I hate what happened to him,” I whisper, and he kisses my forehead.
“We’d all do it, Bay. We are a team.”
