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“This is spooky,” is her reaction and I laugh.
“Right?” I say, shaking my head. “But cool.”
She doesn’t seem to think so. I can see the doubt and hear it in her voice as she asks, “Sure, are you sure you do all this? Nerds? That’s not normal favorite candy shit.”
I nod. “Been my favorite since I was a kid,” I say, and when I see Jace coming out of the ocean with Delanie, both of them laughing and looking like they are about to go have sex, I yell, “Hey Jace, what’s my favorite candy?”
He gives me a look and then shakes his head. “Nerds, right?”
I look at her triumphantly and she laughs. “Fine, I believe you.” Grinning over at me, she says, “That was convenient too. Did you plan that?”
“What?”
“Your brother coming at the right moment to verify your claim.”
I nod. “Oh, of course. I knew that at this particular moment, we were going to talk about my favorite candy. And so I planned for him to frolic in the ocean with Delanie until I smacked my hands together twice. Then he was to come out of the ocean and answer my question,” I say, and I realize I’m talking a lot with my hands. “Yeah. Planned it all.”
She giggles as she leans into me. “Smartass.”
Unlike her, I’m wearing a tee, and when she leans into me, her warmth is all-consuming against me. But she moves away too quickly in my opinion. She then looks at me, her eyes dancing with laughter as the fire glints off her face. “I have to admit, I’m having fun.”
“Ha! Told ya. I’m not that bad.”
“Not bad at all. Kinda funny,” she adds and I smile.
“I try.” I lean back against the couch and shrug. “It’s really nice being out here with you.”
She looks back at me and then leans back too. I can see that she is holding back, but finally, she admits, “I was thinking the same thing.”
She doesn’t want to admit that either; I can read it all over her face. We share a smile, and I don’t think she realizes how much I need this. I’ve been so fucked up over my mom and dad. Worrying about everyone. But when I’m out here, nothing matters. It’s just her and me, the fire burning, a good drink in my hand, and I don’t have to worry. I can relax. It’s nice.
“Something is wrong. I can see it on your face.”
I look up from my cup and shrug. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Wanna share?” she asks, and when I glance at her, she smiles. “Yeah, I don’t know why I asked since I don’t really do sharing feelings, but I kinda want to right now. So entertain me.”
I laugh as I nod and then I
say, “I worry a lot.”
“About?”
“My family,” I say, letting out a breath. “Since my dad left, things have been strained. He was the main money-maker, so my mom was kind of fucked. We all pull together to help out, but I feel like it’s not enough. You see, my mom is the most amazing person in the world. And Jude’s moved away, Jace has a one-way ticket into the NHL, my sister Lucy and her daughter will one day move out, and I want so bad to go into the NHL, but then I’ll be leaving too. She’ll be alone. Whoa, I really unloaded on you there. My bad.”
I sit up, taking in a deep breath before dumping out my cup. No more drinking for me. I need to give my liver a break, obviously.
Sitting up, she turns to me, her legs touching mine, and heat explodes between us. I want to place my hand on her leg. I want to feel her. Touch her. Consume myself with her. But before I can even act on my feelings, she’s talking.
“It’s okay,” she says, covering my hand with hers. “You needed to, and I’m good to do that too, since you’ll never see me again after tomorrow.”
“Unfortunately,” I say softly, and when I glance up, her face mirrors mine.
Disappointment.
She doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then she says, “I’m not supposed to agree.”
Perplexed by that, I ask, “Why?”
