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“I can’t help it. I just don’t want to lose you,” he whispers,
and everything inside me stops. I’ve wanted someone to say that to me my whole life, and he just did. But I can’t enjoy it like I want to because I’ve fucked this all up. I have to let this go. I have to before I have an anxiety attack and then really let my freak flag fly. I think he feels that I am about to lose it, because his arms gather me closer, his forehead coming to mine as his breath mixes with mine.
I can taste the beer he drank, but that doesn’t intoxicate me. No, it’s the way his words are vibrating off him in waves. I can feel them deep inside me, all around me, and I love them. Soon, I hear nothing but the sound of my heart as it slows in my chest. I feel safe in his arms, and my anxiety is gone; guilt replacing it. I shouldn’t have freaked out like this, and most of all, he shouldn’t feel like it’s his fault. I need to get it together.
And quick.
Before I lose him.
Sucking in another deep breath, I open my eyes to find him watching me, his thumb moving up and down my arm. “You okay?” he asks gently.
I nod. “Fine. I’m really sorry. Kind of freaked there.
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I got you.”
He presses his lips against my nose before he lets me go to remove the condom, throwing it in the trash. When he comes back, I haven’t moved because I’m still reeling from what he just said.
He’s got me.
Wow.
Okay.
Before I can say anything or even move, he’s wrapping me back up in his arms. Holding on to him, I press my head to his chest and listen to his heartbeat as I really think over what he just said. This guy, this man, took my crazy and went with it. He may ask questions, but he is more concerned with how I feel than satisfying his curiosity. He’s got me. Meanwhile, I’m over here, holding back on him.
How is that fair?
“Jace?”
“Yeah?”
“What were you going to ask me at the bar?”
I feel him smile as his lips move along my cheek. “Wait till tomorrow, when I’m not so drunk.”
“I want to know now.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long minute and I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend. I don’t want to wait anymore, and if you reject me, then I’ll deal.”
I knew that was it, which is why I asked now. “Really?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry about that. We’re good.”
“No,” I say, pulling back to look at him. “Ask me.”
“What?” His eyes are full of disorientation, and I can feel his heart beating harder in his chest.
“Ask me to be your girlfriend.”
Eyeing me, he looks uncertain as he asks, “What are you going to say?”
“Ask and find out,” I challenge and his grin only grows.
“Don’t reject me.”
Shaking my head, I lean my head to his chin. “Just ask me.”
Reaching up, he takes my face in his hands before tilting it up to look at me. He chews on his lip, his eyes searching mine as I wait. My heart has stopped, my next breath is nowhere to be found, and I can’t wait much longer.
