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Now, I guess that is what I did, but… Why does it feel like it was something so much more?
I look over at her, and she looks so small in my arms. But she also feels like she belongs in my arms. She meets my gaze with a sleepy grin, and I smile back as I suck in a deep breath. Soon, I find myself channeling my inner Jayden. I want to start saying some sweet, corny bullshit about real love and feeling so connected that I can’t ever let her go, but that can’t be true. This was sex—fun, raunchy sex—that’s all. So I swallow those thoughts back down quickly before they escape and I verbally vomit all over her.
But fuck, she makes it tough to swallow.
Reaching up, she runs her fingers along my jaw, her eyes on mine as she works her bottom lip. She does that a lot. Especially when she’s thinking. “I’m dead.”
My face breaks into a grin as I nod slowly. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Do we have to get up right now? Isn’t that the way one-night stands work?”
I shrug. I’ve never actually had a true one-night stand, and I refuse to give more truth to her statement about my not being a player, so I say, “We can do whatever we want.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Nothing but lie here with you.”
The side of her mouth quirks as she moves her finger along my lips. “Don’t get attached.”
“Wouldn’t dare,” I say. But it’s a lie.
I would dare. Hell, she could double dare me and I would do it. I don’t know why, but this girl has me in knots. Fucked-up knots that I don’t want or need right now. She was spot-on when she said this wasn’t in my plans. I had a motto, a slogan for how I wanted this year to go: Leave my heart on the bench and fuck until I can’t see straight. Or something like that. This girl is making me want to put my heart in the game and throw all caution to the wind.
It’s so clichéd, but I can’t help it.
It had to be when she called me on my game. That must have been the moment I decided I wanted nothing more than to know every single thing about this girl. Because how did she know that about me? We haven’t even known each other long, but when she looks at me, I feel like she knows exactly who I am. My deepest, darkest secrets. And that’s weird. Crazy, even. Man, what is wrong with me? I wanted to be more like Jude before Claire, hit it once and never want anything else, but I’m acting like Jayden. Wanting all of her instead of a piece. That’s so him, but really, I want to be me.
I’m just unsure of who I am.
As she cuddles into my side, I watch as her eyes slowly fall shut and her breath evens out. Apparently, she isn’t having an internal battle like I am, and I admire her for that. She’s something. Not only is she gorgeous and quick, she fucks like a dream. I’ve been with a decent number of women, and my sister-in-law’s best friend Delanie was by far the greatest lay of my life. That was until this thin-framed girl came along. I’ve never felt what I felt when I was deep inside Avery, and it worries me I’ll never feel it again with anyone else.
Just her.
Pure ecstasy.
Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply, trying to shake these unneeded feelings and wants.
But it’s no use.
So I try sleeping instead.
I jerk awake what feels like seconds later to someone slamming against the door.
“Open up, Sinclair! I’m tired.”
It’s Markus.
Blinking, I realize my back aches and there is a crick in my neck, while one side of my body is covered with heat. Shit, I forgot where I was for a second there. But when Avery stirs beside me, I remember exactly where I am and how I don’t ever want to leave. She glances up at me, confused, and I move my finger along her lips.
“Sorry,” I say before clearing my throat. “Hey, bro, not now. Go somewhere else.”
“Dude! You’ve had the room all night. I want to sleep in my bed. I don’t care someone is in there with you. I won’t look at her… I promise, I do! Just come on. Someone puked on the couch.”
“Ew,” Avery says from beside me and I nod.
“Not my problem, bro. Now, go away,” I say before cuddling against her.
“Ass!”
