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ChapterEighteen
Jess sighed as she looked around her new kitchen, wishing she was more excited. She should be over the moon, thrilled.
She’d done it, accomplished what had seemed impossible back in January. She’d found a home for her and Jasper.
It just…didn’t feel like a home. Not without Tony and Rhys.
She shoved that thought away and swallowed down the lump in her throat.
This was for the best.
She’d repeated those words over and over in her head a few thousand times this afternoon, wishing they would stick.
Today had been a whirlwind, starting with a morning phone call from Bruno, asking if she still wanted the apartment, then inviting her to come see the place when she said yes. She’d called Paulie’s and taken the day off.
Her anxiety last night after leaving Rhys’s room had been off the charts. She’d fallen recklessly, helplessly, completely in love with Tony and Rhys, and every second spent in their arms only made those feelings stronger.
Rhys was a compassionate, empathetic man, and an amazing doctor. Watching him interact with his patients moved her more than she could say. Falling in love with him was as easy as breathing.
Tony, meanwhile, was Rhys’s polar opposite, passionate, impulsive, commanding. He only had to give her that look or use that tone and she felt her knees go weak with longing and desire. She loved the way he challenged her. They may not always agree, but she knew he was listening to her, taking her feelings and thoughts into consideration. They’d exchanged words countless times, yet it had never felt like arguing. It actually felt a lot like foreplay.
But neither of them had ever mentioned the three of them sharing a future, never offered her any insight into their feelings for her.
It had been on the tip of her tongue to say “I love you” last night before leaving Rhys’s room. The words had been right there. Mercifully, she’d managed to hold them back because God only knew how they would have responded if she’d hit them with that.
She’d had a lifetime of experience watching people walk away—the father she never knew, Scott, her mother, even Danielle. While she and her friend had parted amicably, Danielle had moved on without giving them a second thought, never calling or having time to chat whenever Jess reached out to her.
Jess had also managed to move on, to accept losing those people in her life. But there was no way in hell she could watch Tony and Rhys walk away from her. It would cripple her, knock her down hard enough that she’d never manage to rise again.
So she’d made sure that this time…shewas the one who did the walking.
She’d spent the past few weeks with the growing knowledge that leaving with her heart intact was no longer an option, so when Bruno unwittingly offered her a way to rip off the Band-Aid, she’d jumped at it.
Aunt Berta had offered to come see the place with her, and Jess had known in an instant it was perfect for her and Jasper. Bruno was obviously giving her a break on the rent, something she might have fought him on if, one, she could afford to, and two, she wasn’t so determined to make a clean break.
Once she’d decided to move in, asking Bruno if she could do so immediately, Aunt Berta and Bruno had shifted into high gear, ready to help her in any way she’d needed. Aunt Berta had rallied her brothers, Frank and Cesare, to help, the two men gathering “extra” furniture from other relatives and delivering it to the apartment, while she and Aunt Berta had scrubbed the place from top to bottom. Bruno hadn’t lied about the previous renter being a slob.
Bruno had loaned her a couple of air mattresses until she could afford to buy beds. Aunt Berta and Nonna had “thinned out” their kitchens, managing to almost fully stock Jess’s with pots, pans, dishes, glasses, and silverware. Cesare had lugged an old dresser out of his attic for her bedroom, and Frank had an extra TV and stand he’d taken out of his guest room, claiming no one ever used it.
She’d been overwhelmed and more touched than she could say by their generosity. She was grateful she’d had the opportunity to get to know the Morettis and to be able to witness firsthand what it truly meant to be part of a family.
Because she and Aunt Berta been busy cleaning the apartment, Jess had texted Penny to ask if she could pick up Jasper and bring him home after school. Penny had become a friend, the two of them talking on the phone almost daily the past couple of weeks.
Penny had taken one look at the place and—after declaring herself an interior decorating genius, thanks to some Sims game she played constantly—immediately started discussing design plans and colors, even promising to help Jess with the painting.
Jess had expected Jasper to be delighted by the new apartment and the fact he would have his own room for the first time in his life. However, none of that excitement had been there. Instead, he’d followed her around as she gave him a quick tour, then asked if he could color a picture. She’d said yes, watching as he pulled a piece of paper and crayons out of his bag and started to draw.
She was concerned about his response, though she was aware he was most likely overwhelmed. She’d mentioned looking at an apartment today before he left for school, but she hadn’t realized how quickly things would move. He’d need time to process the change, so she’d give it to him.
When Jasper finished his drawing and asked if he could give Tony and Rhys the picture he’d colored as a thank-you present, Jess realized she hadn’t said thank you either.
She glanced at the time on her phone. It was just after five. They’d be getting home soon.
Aunt Berta was still fussing in the kitchen, the woman clearly in her element, delighted with setting it up. Penny was helping, but it was obvious the task was less fun for her, as she kept sneaking onto her phone to play a game.
“Do you all mind hanging out here for a little while? I need to go back to the apartment to pack up our clothes and toiletries, plus I want to talk to the guys and give them this.” Jess held up Jasper’s picture.
“Take your time, dear. Penny and I will take Jasper to the store to pick up some staples for your kitchen.”
