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Asher’s eyelids were heavy and he had to blink himself awake. “I told you. He has access to everything. Satellites, computers, people. And an absurd amount of money.”
Harry squinted as if he were trying to work out a difficult math equation in his head. “If he has so much money, why do you still work? Why don’t you just live in some chateau in France or Italy with a new identity?”
Asher smiled. “Because it’s his money. He does his thing. I do mine.”
“But you work with him. You’re the information on the ground; you do the footwork. He does the cyber shit. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t buy you a life somewhere to set you up. Look at what he’s done for you this week alone.”
“He has offered me that many times.”
“Why didn’t you take it?”
Asher sighed and answered with a shrug. “Because he has his life, and this is what I do. It’s what I’ve done since I was young. Being on the go, the challenge of it all. The thrill of it. It’s all I’ve ever known.”
Harry considered this for a few long seconds. “But now? You said before you want a normal life. So what changed?”
Asher studied Harry’s face, noting the creases at the corners of his eyes, the few flecks of silver in his blond hair. He was gorgeous, and Asher had to wonder just how beautiful he must have been before he started this life.
“Time,” Asher finally replied. “I’m not as fast as I was, and I know it.”
“You’re plenty fast enough.”
Asher found himself smiling at Harry. “My body hurts more now than it did when I was twenty. I used to be able to sleep on the floor, or in a foxhole, or not sleep at all, but now not so much. I know it, and the people who want me dead know it too.” He met his gaze. “You have to feel the same.”
Harry frowned and conceded a shrug. “Maybe.”
“It’s tough on the body, worse on the mind,” Asher said quietly. “I want to retire on my terms, not on theirs. When I was younger, I never expected to reach the age I am now. I never expected to make twenty or twenty-five, then thirty. Now thirty-five is coming a little too fast, and...” He felt a little foolish for saying this, for admitting it to him. “And I want to make forty, or even fifty. I want to know what normal is.”
“Would you not get bored with a normal life?”
Asher laughed. “Probably.”
Harry was quiet, pensive for a few minutes. “Do you think guys like us will ever be allowed to live a normal life? Do we even deserve it?”
“What we deserve is up to our makers. It’s not for us to decide. Anyway, who is responsible for the puppet’s behaviour? The puppet or those who work the strings?”
“We’re the ones who pull the trigger.”
“If we didn’t, someone else would. Always. This game we play has been played for thousands of years. Only the field changes, that’s all. It’s political and dirty.” Asher sighed. “And there are rarely any winners.”
Harry was quiet after that, though he had his thinking face on. The way his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes focused on something only he could see.
“Can I ask you something?” Asher asked.
Harry glanced his way. “Mm.”
“When we were standing at the plane and Bashar and the pilot appeared, you stood in front of me.”
“No I didn’t.”
Asher smiled. “You protected me.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“It was part of the cover. In front of Fitz. I told him I was private sector and made it out like I was your security. Nothing else.”
“Mm hmm.”
