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“And tell me, madam, what do you do when you go to a restaurant and there is a sign in the window that says Whites Only?” the woman demanded, jabbing her finger toward me aggressively. “Do you ‘do something’? Perhaps you should look into your own backyard before you make sweeping judgments about things you do not understand.” Her tone was dismissive and haughty, and all of the American rocket program wives were staring at us. My embarrassment and temper flared.
“I hate that Huntsville is segregated, but you’ll never convince me it’s the same as what youpeople did. I’ve heard the news and I’ve read the papers. I know the kinds of things the Nuremberg trials have uncovered.” Her lips thinned, but that she had no immediate retort only reassured me I was right to take a stand. “Can you honestly tell me you had no idea about the camps? No idea about the terrible things being done in the name of your country—things being done inyourname?”
I expected her to deny it. Instead, her eyebrows knit, and her gaze dipped as the silence began to stretch. I felt no triumph at the raspberry flush that stole up her cheeks, only a horrified sense of disgust.
“You did know,” I whispered, stunned. “Well, isn’t that something? Lady, if you knew and did nothing, you’re as guilty as the men who pushed those innocent people into gas chambers. How do you even look at yourself in the mirror—”
“That’s enough!” Calvin hissed. I startled and looked past her to see my husband striding toward us, his eyes wide with disbelief and disappointment.
Only then did I realize that the entire gathering had fallen silent. Dozens of people were staring at me and the German woman. The only partygoers who hadn’t stopped to watch the spectacle were the children, who were still laughing and playing together.
Every now and again, I had a moment where I felt as though I stepped out of my life and looked at it from the outside. Whenever that happened, I was left with one stunning question I could never quite figure out the answer to:How did I get here?
As Calvin offered soothing smiles to the women, and gently took my arm to lead me away from the garden party, I had a moment like that—a stark, shocking instant where I had the distinct impression that I had somehow got myself trapped living someone else’s life.
