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Miss Sharp studied her for one long moment. Her gaze was assessing, her eyes as hard as flint. “Very well,” she said at last.
“And I will say goodbye to His Grace before I leave tonight.”
The governess arched a haughty brow. “I don’t think so.”
“This is not negotiable. I care for him. Very much. If he succumbs to the infection—” Artemis’s breath hitched. She swallowed, fighting to control her voice. To eliminate the telltale quaver. She wouldnotcry in front of Miss Sharp. She would not give such a petty, vindictive, narrow-minded snitch the satisfaction. “You will afford me this opportunity to bid His Grace farewell. It might be my last chance.”
Without waiting for the governess to reply, she pushed past her and returned to Dominic’s room. Nurse Quincey, who was in the process of adjusting the bedclothes, looked up as soon as she entered. “Miss Jones. I hadn’t expected you to return so quickly.” Her incisive gaze narrowed. “Is everything all right?”
“I…” Artemis forced herself to smile as she approached the bed. “Yes. I simply wanted to see His Grace again before I left. I…” She drew a steadying breath and spouted the only lie she could think of that might be believed by the nurse, Lady Celeste, and the Northams. “I’ve just received word from my aunt in Berkshire that my sister is asking for me—she’s not feeling particularly well after all of the recent hullabaloo about her in the newspapers—and so I need to quit Town for a few days. In light of that, would you mind if I spent a few moments alone with His Grace?”
The nurse offered her a kind smile. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. And of course, I’ll make myself scarce. Actually, I left my spectacles in my room, and I really can’t function without them. This seems like the perfect opportunity to retrieve them.”
As soon as the bedroom door shut behind the nurse, Artemis sank onto the mattress beside Dominic.
Her aching heart stumbled and faltered as her gaze traced over his beloved features. Despite the ravages of the fever and everything else he’d been through, his austere masculine beauty was in no way diminished. Not to her. Apart from the mottled bruising about the healing gash on his forehead and the purple shadows beneath the sweep of his lashes, his countenance was as pale as marble. Indeed, he lay so still underneath the bedclothes that he seemed almost lifeless, like the statue of a Greek god or the stone effigy upon a knight’s tomb. Infinitely noble and handsome yet disconnected and somehow otherworldly.
She had to remind herself that it was just the strong opiate he’d taken an hour ago that made him appear so. That if she slid her hand beneath the covers, he would still feel warm to the touch and his heart would beat steadily against her palm. His chest would rise and fall with each breath he took.
With a shaky sigh, she gently took one of his limp hands, cradling it between hers. She didn’t even bother to dash away her tears as her fingertips traced the patterns of Dominic’s knuckles and the veins on his palm. She couldn’t bear to leave him, but she must. Her whole future hung in the balance. The fact that Miss Sharp had forced Artemis to make such an agonizing choice at this juncture—stay and face public ruination, or go and risk never seeing the love of her life ever again—was both heartless and cruel in the extreme. And it wasn’t just her reputation that would be destroyed. Her aunt’s and Phoebe’s would be too. And Phoebe had already suffered enough.
But Artemis had no power to bargain here. Not one whit. The self-righteous governess held all of the cards. As much as she was loath to do so, Artemis must say goodbye to Dominic, for now, or she would lose everything.
“I’m afraid I have to bid you adieu, my darling,” she murmured thickly. “But I pray that it’s only for a little while. Just until you’re out of the woods, so to speak.”
Another sigh escaped her; the laudanum was both a blessing and a curse. It took away Dominic’s pain and reduced his fever, but right at this moment, Artemis wished he could hear her next words. “You were right, you know,” she continued. “This engagementisreal. But I’ve been such a coward, lying to myself and to you. Not only have I denied how I feel about you for far too long, but I’ve also been hiding who I really am. When you are awake and aware and out of danger, I promise you that I will profess all.”
She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. Her throat was so clogged with emotion, her voice emerged as a fractured croak as she whispered, “And Iknowthat you will get better, my darling Dominic. You must. Because I want you to hear me say that I love you. And I want you to know that I will marry you, and that I yearn to give you a son and heir…if you’ll still have me after you learn the truth.”
She kissed Dominic’s hand once more, then laid it carefully on the counterpane. She placed a kiss on her fingertips and then touched them to his lips. “Good night, my love,” she whispered. “I will not say farewell because this is not goodbye.”
It can’t be. Itmustn’tbe.
Gathering the last remnants of her disintegrating will around her, Artemis forced herself to rise and quit the room. She was leaving Dominic in good hands, she told herself as she swallowed her tears and repaired to the library to dash off a quick note to Horatia. He would survive this. Berkshire was not so far away—it was but an hour and a quarter’s journey on the train. She was certain Horatia would send word if Dominic took a turn for the worse.
She just had to keep Miss Rosalind Sharp happy for a few days. And then one way or another, everything would be resolved.
