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The candles flicker as we pass, making the entrance hall eerier than usual. The statue of the unicorn and the lion butting heads is cast in an almost bronzish glow.
On the grounds, large fires rage within a metal brazier. There’s the sound of gremlins howling with laughter through giddy conversation. I glance over at Danny, feeling nervous. I’d managed to block the existence of the gremlins out of my mind so far.
The light of the nearest brazier casts leaping sparks into the air. As we step outside, I find it’s surprisingly warm. Conversations die as soon as the girls are noticed. Danny and I are at the back, away from everyone else. There’s silence, followed by a stray wolf whistle and derisive, whooping laughter.
It makes me wonder if maybe I should have stuck with the girls this year. If we’d stuck together, maybe we would have shared the suffering instead and handled it together in a more mature manner.
“Get tofuck, you cunty little brats,” Li shouts into the darkness, giving me pause for thought.
Li is pretty terrifying, enough that the gremlins follow her orders. I wonder how you become like Li, so ferocious and flippant, like the world owes you itself and you know you’re worth it.
Despite the relative simplicity of her outfit, it’s pretty obvious that all eyes are on Li tonight. With her dazzling makeup, Arabella must be gutted. But even the way Liwalksis interesting, a kind of sashay I’d never be able to manage for more than a second, and then I’d probably bust a hip in the process. I can’t stop staring at her, the way her red dress clings to her hips and creeps up her thighs.
I snap my eyes up to her face, which is frozen keenly on some spot in the distance. I follow her gaze through the darkness.
The chiefs are together, leaning against a tree, watching us avidly.
“Tossers,” she sniffs, turning her head in the other direction, but not before her eyes linger on them — on Rory — for a moment longer.
She has more restraint than I do. I tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out what grand costumes the school has bestowed on itsde factoleaders. But they’re too far away, clustered around the edge of the dark forest, and I can’t make them out.
Arabella, Freya and Becca are quietly talking between themselves, a mirror image of Rory, Finlay and Luke on the other side of the grounds. Beside me, Li takes another swig of alcohol, heaving a breath as she gazes into the bright orange fire in the brazier.
“Can I try some of that?” I ask, pretending to be brave. I feel like tonight might bond me and Li. Like me, she’s always been on the periphery of the girls’ group. She wasn’t involved in Operation Strike First. She might actually be the ally I’ve hoped for all this time.
She arches a dark eyebrow in my direction. “I thought alcohol was too good for a little saint like you.”
Little saint. Only the chiefs call me that, including the guy I caught all those weeks ago having sex with Li.
I wonder if they’re still together.
I wonder a lot of things.
But Li passes me the bottle in disinterest. There are no teachers here — at least none that I can see — so I feel safe in the knowledge that I’m not about to get another week-long series of detentions.
I take a sip. I don’t even know what it is, but it burns in my mouth like liquid fire straight from the brazier. Even on a freezing October night, my skin begins to heat up and break into sweat.
Li gives me an amused glance. “Have you ever even had alcohol before?”
I shake my head. “No, never.”
“You really are a goddamn little saint, aren’t you?” Li’s laugh is infectious, and I find myself laughing, too. I take another long swallow, chasing the sensation of fire as it zips through my veins. “It’s from Freya’s secret stash. To be honest, I don’t think you’re supposed to neck whisky like that, but you go, girl.”
On my other side, Danny cautions me in a quiet voice, “Steady…”
But I don’t want to be steady. The drink tastes like spiced fire, like I might be able to blow out air and scorch the earth with my breath alone. And I so want to do that, to eviscerate every single laughing gremlin that’s staring at me right now.
It turns out my hopes are bigger than my body can handle, and after my third long gulp, I end up coughing, spluttering across the brazier. Danny pats me on the back, while Li takes the bottle of whisky with a look of mild disgust.
“Well, look at that,” a drawling voice rings out from behind. “You’re a lamb. Excellent. This schooldoeshave a sense of humor, after all.”
And then I come face to face with the big bad wolf himself.
