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The idea of school seems somehow claustrophobic, the antithesis of the freedom I’ve enjoyed these past two months, now that I’ve experienced an entire summer of unexpected events. The kind of life lessons they don’t teach you at school.
School… I don’t know. It doesn’t really fit anymore, it seems old-fashioned, a relic from when I knew no better. It’s as if my life has expanded in another direction, and Lochkelvin is pulling me back into its small, parochial box, slinging a tie around my neck and controlling what I wear and learn.
The real lessons, I’ve come to realize, occur outside the bubble of that ancient castle, that esteemed privileged private school.
I glance at the textbooks Danny’s trying to fit into his bag.Advanced Essential Physics IIis wrangled and warped in a variety of methods that would cause a fainting spell in the most imperturbable librarian.
“You can just ask for an extra bag,” Rory drawls from his sprawled position on the sofa, as if this is obvious. It makes me wonder what he’d say if someone were desperate to sit down —you can justaskfor a seat, perhaps, as he slides over the sofa cushions with a repressed roll of his eyes.
Danny looks like he’d rather eat his own tongue than request anything from Rory.
“It’s going to be weird, going back there,” he tells me as though Rory hadn’t spoken, resuming his textbook-bashing with renewed vigor, possibly imagining it’s Rory’s head he’s squashing down. He glances to the side at Rory, who’s preoccupied with his book, and lowers his voice. “Luke told me… he’s thinking of releasing the speech before school. So no one takes any chances with him, starts fights, you know… He’ll have the chiefs, and the majority of the gremlins, but they won’t always be there.”
“Well, he’s gonna have to be quick about it. We’re back on Monday.” I glance over at Rory and ask, much louder, “How are we even getting back? Lochkelvin’s on the other side of the country.”
“Fin can drive us,” Rory says nonchalantly, turning another page. I recall our escape from the Lochkelvin estate, with Finlay in the driver seat, and try not to wince as I picture those endless twisting narrow roads again.
“All five of us in that car? We’re gonna be so crammed,” Danny mutters, looking much unhappier about this prospect than me.
“Can easily chuck you overboard, Danny-boy,” Rory says without a hint of threat in his voice. “I’m only taking you for the saint. She’s the only one who wants you there.”
I open my mouth, about to argue that no, I don’t think that’s at all the case anymore. I think, unlikely though it’s been, Danny has established a strange sort of alliance, over countless games of chess, with Luke. Without Danny beside him, I think Luke would be as equally lost as me.
But I close my mouth, deciding against this. Discussing Luke leads to politics and I’m so, so tired of it all.
“Luke wanted to see you,” Danny tells me quietly, perhaps sensing what I’d been about to say.
I nod, and Danny pauses.
“Last night,” he begins in an even lower tone, and this time he barely meets my eyes as he thrusts his textbook into his bag, “we didn’t, like… do anything… did we?”
With Danny’s tentative words, I recall the sensation of two warm, sleepy breaths on my neck so clearly as I’m sent back to the slow, morning awakening, the gradual, heart-thrumming realization that I’d spent the night nestled between the crown prince and my geeky best friend, and that all had seemed right in the world.
“It was very respectable,” I say diplomatically, and it takes everything for my traitorous tongue not to add in the word “unfortunately”.
Danny looks relieved, as though being with him is the last thing I — or anyone else — would have wanted. I wish he could hear the ocean-like outpouring of love I have for him in my heart, that he’d realize I want him just as badly as I want every other crazy boy in this house.
I leave Danny to stuffing his bag and refusing Rory’s help, taking the stairs two at a time to reach Luke.
When I knock and Luke tells me to enter, I’m overwhelmed by the strains of classical music. He’s positioned in bed, the lights dimmed, with his hands behind his head and his eyes gently closed. After a moment, I realize he’s humming along to the optimistic melody that resounds against the music of the dark, moody concerto.
His noble head tilts in my direction, his dark eyelashes sweeping across his face as he raises his gaze to regard me. “Hey.”
I stare at him. “Hey?”
“Hey, dollface,” Luke drawls, with a sense of experimentation, as his full lips curve into a knowing smile. “How’s it hangin’?”
I can’t help it: I burst out laughing.
Over a swift and sudden frown, Luke shoots me an injured glance. “What?”
“I’m sorry, I’m so not used to hearing you speak like that. I mean,dollface, really?”
“Well, what do you want to be called?” Luke asks, a touch defensive. “The other chiefs have names for you and I don’t.”
“I know,” I tell him with a soft smile, watching as he turns the music down as though to distract himself, “and I like that about you. I don’t need a nickname. My name’s fine as it is.” Luke still seems disappointed, so I tell him, to remind him of more important matters, “Danny says you wanted to see me?”
His disappointment clears, but only slightly. He sighs and says in a morose tone, “I’ve been thinking about the video,” and here he glances at the camera, firmly ensconced on his bedside table between two weighty tomes on the religious sites of ancient Britain. “I’m going to have to release it soon. Next-few-days soon.”
