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16
There is an action plan of sorts, though it’s developed moments after my mind-melting stint with Rory. He tells me things and I nod, semi-realizing I’m a patchwork of shrugged-off fencing kit and general debauchery. I’m not sure I’m able to focus on his words when my body feels somehow reborn and transformed, like in some strange way I’ve become a newborn phoenix.
But the essence of the plan is simple: that I am never, ever to be left alone with Oscar Munro, and that Rory will speak to him when he arrives about reinstating all meals.
This means that no, I am not being forced to dance for the Prime Minister tonight. It means that I am somewhat free, though I still wander Oscar Munro’s house and wear the clothes Oscar Munro’s staff lay out for me and hunger for the food Oscar Munro denies me and desperately want to be fucked by Oscar Munro’s young, lookalike son.
For the first time in a long while, I sleep. I spend all afternoon snoozing, the ache between my legs soothed, in one of the soundest, most restorative, full-bodied sleeps I’ve ever experienced. There are no dreams or nightmares or abrupt, gasping wake-ups. I arise peacefully, with the windows streaming moonlight from a full moon across the bedroom carpet, fringes of light spilling onto my face.
I feel like a new woman.
It’s long after dinnertime when I wake, and I’m grateful that no one came to disturb me. As usual, I make my way to the kitchens, wondering if I should just sleep there with Captain Porthos instead, and also whether to be fancy andtoastthe bread this time. But on my way there, I overhear voices — including a low murmured one that sends shivers down my spine.
“This is of no matter to you—”
“It is ofeverymatter,” Rory snaps to his father, and I can picture him, all blond hair and wild pink-cheeked rage as he’s rebuffed in this conversation by Oscar Munro’s dry, all-knowing tone. “I thought you wanted to dismantle the monarchy, install a new political system, secure your legacy as the first true British ruler in the new age. Not… this. Not this bigotry. Luke’s myfriendand I’ve hurt him.”
“Hurt feelings? Oh,dear,” his father says, sounding as though he relishes the prospect. “I’ve only just arrived, at least let me fix myself a stiff drink.”
A cupboard snaps open, a glass slams onto a table.
“I deal with hurt feelings all day long in London, and the best way to do so is to ignore them. In time the fake prince will come to realize I have done him and his family a favor.” He sounds incredibly bored indeed, but then his voice softens. “It seems you have a long way to go before you understand the true nature of political balance. You’re supposed to use friendships to the best of your advantage, not become blinded by duty toward them. You believe those you surround yourself with aren’t doing the same with you? My son, it is the only reason they are with you at all. Forme.”
I swallow, the words too close to home to what had been discussed during fencing. I press myself into the wall beside the door. By all rights, I shouldn’t be listening to this. Even so, I have to tamper down on the part of me that wants to charge into that room and tell Rory that his dad is a liar.
“You’re wrong,” Rory tells him in a quiet voice threaded with hurt. “They’re my friends because they’re myfriends, and I don’t need a reason.”
Oscar Munro scoffs. “Idiot boy. I know I taught you better than this.” There’s the sound of liquid being poured, followed by the clink of stirred ice. “Is it that girl? Has she been messing with your head?”
My eyes widen at the contempt in the wordsthatgirl. I hadn’t beenthat girlto him when I’d kept him company last night or the night before. I’m disposable to Oscar Munro, and of course I am. Who the hell was I kidding? Hadn’t it been his power I’d been attracted to? And now he’s using it to crush and minimize me.
“From what I’ve heard,Father, it’s you who’s been messing with her.”
I almost swallow my tongue in shock.
“I beg your pardon.”
“You know I believed you at the start?” Rory mutters. “Before the tabloids talked to the very many women you’ve been enjoying since Mother passed. I assumed it was a stitch-up at first. I thought it was backbenchers trying to oust you before a vote of no confidence, that’s how much misplaced faith I had in you. But no. It was you. It was always you. And believing in you to be a better person, a better leader, a bettermanwas stupid. Supporting you?That’sbeing idiotic.That’sbeing blinded. So take this one piece of advice from your jaded son,” Rory says, and I have to strain to hear him because he’s speaking in such a low, lethal tone: “Leave. My girlfriend. Alone.”
Footsteps approach the door, followed by its hard slam, and I quickly scurry into an empty lightless room, waiting for Rory to pass by. My heart thunders in my chest. I have no idea what to feel about any this, but part of me is quietly surprised and even slightly thrilled to have Rory defending me — and it’s not as if he knew I was there.
I bite my thumb, attempting to hide my pleased grin.
After Rory leaves, the only other sounds are a solemn sigh followed by the creak of wooden floorboards as Oscar Munro moves to the back of the room. I take my chance and hurry down to the kitchens, turning on the lights.
Captain Porthos snoozes in his large fleecy dog basket, rising to scratch furiously at his neck before slouching inside the tartan confines.
The dog isn’t the only one illuminated. To my surprise, Finlay is also here, picking uselessly at a small plate of food in front of him while the side of his head remains slumped on his curled fist.
He doesn’t even glance up when I enter.
“You’re sitting down here in the dark?” I ask, watching him snap something small and round and crumbly, something that reminds me of last Christmas and feedingdigestive biscuitsto Benji.
Finlay shrugs, eating nothing and putting all the new pieces back down on his plate. “The moon’s bright enough.”
Tonight, the moonisbright. It limns Finlay, giving him an almost ethereal quality as he sits by himself at the chrome counter. There’s a serious pensiveness to his face and I’ve never seen anyone look so glum with a plate of food in front of them.
And then I remember I did this to him.
