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Chapter Thirty Four
*****
Katie
Isat on the couch in the den waiting to hear Asher come back home. He was only supposed to be in town for the weekend and I felt awful for ambushing him like I did. I was hurt and he could see that. There was no point in lying to him. If Nate was basically telling me he didn’t care about me enough to tell Asher then what difference did it make if I told him. It would be in the past and Asher couldn’t be mad at him for something that wasn’t happening anymore. Asher couldn’t stay mad forever.
Right?
I was an adult. Nate hadn’t forced me to do anything. The decision was as much as it was Nate’s. Hell, I probably made the decision for the both of us that first time. He seemed to always regret everything he did with me and tell me how much my brother wouldn’t approve. Like my brother was the decision maker in his life and if he didn’t have his seal of approval then he wasn’t allowed to do it.
I barely even told Asher anything, he walked in and saw my eyes were puffy and immediately asked what the hell happened. He knew I was there alone with Nate. At first, he thought it was just my usual getting upset over something stupid he had said and laughed it off. When I said no that wasn’t it, that because of him I couldn’t have the one guy that made it all seem worth it and it was his fault. That’s when Asher lost it.
His eyes grew wide as the realization washed over him that something had happened between Nate and me. The first words out of his mouth shocked me. He asked me if he fucked me, and I didn’t answer. After he asked me again, he didn’t wait before he stormed towards the door where Nate was standing. My silence was confirmation of what he feared.
His fist swiftly rose and knocked Nate backwards as it collided with his face. I would have kept my mouth shut if I thought that my brother was going to react like this. I knew after the whole situation with Brandon that he wasn’t ever going to tolerate someone putting their hands on me. I had assumed that the person would have to hurt me physically to elicit this much of a reaction on Asher’s part. I also had never seen him get physical with anyone before. It was terrifying to watch as he swung again directly at Nate's face like it was a punching bag and not his best friend.
Katie: Asher please can you come home so we can talk?
I clicked send hoping that he would answer. Now I wished I had Bridget’s phone number so I could call or text her and find out where the hell my brother was. This was all my fault. I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut. Nate had warned me over and over how bad it would be but of course I thought that I knew everything and had to open my big fat mouth.
It had been eight hours and there was still radio silence from everyone. To make sure my phone wasn’t broken, I texted Ryder under the pretense of finding out how Paul meeting her family went. She confessed he fit right in with her family and watching him playing with her younger siblings was amazing. I tried to write back something witty about how I knew it all along. I struggled to find the words. It felt like I had just pushed everyone I loved off our boat into crocodile infested waters. Pacing the floor for the last twenty minute I tried calling Asher again, straight to voicemail. Against my better judgment I pulled my phone out again
Katie: Nate I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I can fix this I promise
I didn’t expect him to answer me. It was wishful thinking that he would even look at my message. With my head and heart spinning out of control I decided some fresh air might do me some good. As I went to open the front door, I could hear the rain pounding outside. We were supposed to be getting some strong winds and flooding from this one.
Immediately my mind went back to that night. How bad the rain was as he ran back to his truck drenched and aggravated that we would need to spend the night in the motel room together. Neither of us could have known that it was going to be the night that changed our lives forever.
We would never experience something like that again. An earth-shattering revelation of our hearts finally opening up and finding their other half. It didn’t matter how much we fought it; we were meant to be together. We were always meant to be together. I was just an idiot being so afraid to lose him that I pushed him away.
Turning back around I sat down on the couch just as Asher walked in dripping wet.
“Asher, please can you just hear me out? It wasn’t his fault you can’t be mad at him. It was me that pushed him into doing everything that happened. He told me he shouldn’t be doing it, that he couldn’t do that to you, but I just wouldn’t listen.”
"Katie stop.”
He looked like hell and I felt horrible for doing this to him. I had just destroyed their relationship. His hand was grabbing his bicep as he posture slumped. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine for more than a few seconds at a time.
“Asher you two are best friends, you’re like brothers; you need to know the truth. Your friendship is too strong and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have just thrown that information at you the way I did, I was hurt. It was wrong for me to do that.”
Without warning he shouted my name causing me to straighten out of fear and stop my rambling. His hands outstretched, he grabbed my arms, his eyes black and void of emotion as he spoke.
“Nate went up in his plane.”
I stared back at him blankly. Why was he telling me this? My breathing became shallow as I tried to pull back from my brother. He wasn’t going to say it. No. I refused.
“His plane went down Katie. They can’t find him.”
