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“No clue what you mean. We would never do such a thing. Alright we would, but we have to keep you on your toes, Hanover.”
Turning and walking away, I waved over my shoulder. For a moment, things felt normal again. Laughing and joking around with classmates. Rushing to my next class, I felt like how any other 19-year-old sophomore in college should feel.
Then I remembered Nate was still gone. Snapping my elastic, my head hung down.
*****
Nate
Tomorrow was Thanksgiving and although I should be thankful that my memory returned, it came at a high cost. I didn’t think I could go home, but I also didn’t know how much longer I could continue to pretend to be Theo.
I had already taken an enormous risk going back to my old construction job. Miles had known I went missing and was shocked when I showed up. The look of seeing a ghost flashed over his face when I showed up in his office the day after my date with Savannah. I begged him to keep quiet about me being there. After explaining how I had left things, he understood why I was asking for his silence. I just needed some time to get some money together and figure out what I wanted to do. He offered me a few smaller jobs to assist with that I could do in between helping at the farm. It was a start.
While not remembering my identity frustrated me daily, when it all rushed back, I almost wished it hadn’t. The only one I left behind that would truly miss and care about me was my mother. It killed me to do this to her, but other than that, I had no one. I would not keep my mother in misery forever. I just needed to figure out how to go see her with none of the Hanover’s finding out.
Asher had punched me and said I was dead to him. Katie had dared me to never think or speak to her again. So, in all honesty, I was just giving them what they wanted. A life free of Nathan King.
Savannah’s family welcomed me with open arms, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them when my memory came rushing back. I knew I needed to confess sooner rather than later. I had to figure out how still.
“Nate?”
Walking back into the barn, my head rose at the sound of my name. It had been months since I had heard anyone call me that and I knew the voice that it had come from. Turning to see Katie’s old roommate Ryder, my eyes widened as my heart raced.
What the hell was she doing here? I had spent the greater part of the last month and a half pretending that I couldn’t remember my name or where I was from and now this. There was a chance I could play this off like I did not know she was talking to me. No one was around to know the difference except for her.
“Do I know you?”
I wasn’t sure how even my voice sounded, since in my head that came out shaky as hell.
“I’m Theo.”
Seraphina bucked, and I nearly dropped the reins, distracting me from the conversation I wished I wasn’t in.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. You look exactly like someone I know. Or I guess it’s knew. Didn’t mean to bother you. I could have sworn you were my roommates. Never mind. Sorry, I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”
She brushed her hand over Seraphina, immediately calming her.
“You’re good with her. She doesn’t seem to like me much.”
I wasn’t sure why I continued speaking instead of walking away. Probably because no matter what I did, I was still waking up multiple times a night in a cold sweat, having nightmares of what Katie’s life was like now.
It was always the same dream. She was fourteen again, walking into Asher’s room. Her clothing was baggy, attempting to hide everything she thought was an imperfection on her own body. Ashamed to be asking anything of me as she told me they dared her to kiss me. Her voice was shaking as the words we faint. It was a simple task. I thought little of it as I stood before her, lifting her chin our lips met.
The instant I pulled back, I knew that my life would never be the same. Instead of letting her walk away, I pulled her in close with my hands tangling in her hair as I kissed her again like it was the only thing that would keep us alive. She would pull back, tears welling in her eyes as she turned away from me walking out of the room. The whole time mumbling, “you promised you wouldn’t hurt me.”
I couldn’t move and no matter how hard I tried to scream her name and beg for her to turn around, she would fade into the distance. It had haunted me every night since I had kissed Savannah, a moment I had since regretted.
Since I had helped at the farm, Seraphina had given me the most trouble. Savannah had warned me she was a temperamental horse, but I was sure she just wanted to make me look incompetent every chance she got. Watching how she calmed the second Ryders hand was on her, I hoped that her gentle manner had been helping Katie through me being gone. If she even cared that I was gone.
“Oh, we go way back. Don’t we girl?”
Patting her again, I curled my hand around the reins tighter to distract myself.
“It’s uncanny how much you look like him. Here I’ll show you.”
Tugging her phone from her pocket, she moved herself to stand next to me and began scrolling through photos slowly. My heart froze as she moved past photos of Katie making faces at the camera. She looked happy.
I hadn’t seen her in months except in my memories. Too afraid to look her up on social media and somehow have anyone be able to trace me back here, I fought the urge to see her photos.
