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Chapter Twenty
*****
Nate
Placing my fork down, I could see the regret on her face. Pain radiated through me knowing that I had done that to her. I didn’t regret the best night of my entire life. Holding her in my arms, being able to keep her safe and warm without her fighting me or calling me an asshole was the most amazing feeling in the world. Somehow, falling asleep caused all the hatred she had for me to rush back into her. I wanted to join her on the bed and press my lips onto hers again, but I thought better of it as she sat back down after pulling a hoodie over her head, refusing to meet my eyes.
Deciding not to push her, afraid she would end up calling a taxi, I dropped it. The hunger that had been eating away at me when I woke up subsided as I shoved one last piece of bacon into my mouth.
“The rain stopped, so we should be there in no time.”
I hoped that a shortened trip would break the tension. Pulling her bag into her hand, she walked back out to where I had parked the truck. Now I couldn’t decide if this silence was going to be worse than the one I usually endured from her.
We had been on the road for about fifteen minutes before I noticed her looking down at the locket. Twirling it between her fingers, but never opening it.
“You don’t have to pretend to like it.”
My eyes stayed on the road, far too fearful of what looking at her may do to me. Waking up next to her made my heart feel so full.
Before I had left to grab us fuel for the day, I kissed her forehead, excited for the day to begin. The moment I walked back into the room and her eyes landed on me, all that happiness washed away. Her eyes refused to meet mine for more than a few seconds. Her body was completely closed off now.
“I’m not pretending. I love it.”
There was hesitation and fear as she mumbled my name.
“Nate?”
“Yeah?”
She was pulling at the edge of her sleeve, watching the tree line move by in a blur of color.
“Do you regret it?”
My chest tightened. This must be what was eating away at her since last night. Licking my lips, I reached over, grabbing her hands in mine.
“Not a single minute of it. That was the best night of my life.”
I could see the corner of her mouth turn up as a tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly wiped away, ashamed that I might see it. Even though I wanted to ask if she regretted it, I didn’t want to push her to answer. There was a big part of me that feared she did regret it.
Pulling off at the next exit, I pretended I was low on gas. As I shoved the nozzle into the truck, I watched her in the side-view mirror, still looking down. She had been silent the whole time so far. I would have preferred she give me shit about my driving or anything. The silence was driving me insane.
After going inside to pay the ten dollars of gas I had just pumped, I walked back to the truck. If I could have just kept my emotions in check, this trip wouldn’t have been ruined. I slid into the driver's seat and pulled back onto the main road. We sat in silence for a while before I mustered enough courage to talk to her again.
“It’s okay to regret it, Katie. It won’t hurt me if you say it.”
Lying through my teeth, I hoped she would buy it. I just wanted her to talk to me instead of this numbing silence. Biting her lip, I could see her chest rising and falling as she took quick breaths.
“That’s not it.”
Pulling over into the shoulder, I shifted into park.
“Okay, so what is it then? I’ve never seen you turn down breakfast. It’s your favorite meal of the day. Especially French toast. Please talk to me.”
Her hand rose to wipe away another tear. Reaching across the console, I put my hand under her chin, forcing her to look at me. I leaned over my lips, grazing hers gently.
“Please, darlin’.”
She buried her face in her hands. Reaching around her, I did my best to console her as she sobbed into her hands.
