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More pieces of our crazy life are put together for him.
“Emmett. Emmett used to call her Cupcake.” I pause, biting back the emotion this memory brings. “He used to say ‘I love you, Cupcake,’ and she would respond, ‘Forever and always.’ God, they were sickening.”
He snickers. “Hmm, sounds like another couple I know.”
I bellow out a laugh and roll my eyes. Shaking my head, I mutter, “Nope, not even close.”
Kyler settles onto one of the stools at the island. “She must think I’m the biggest asshole ever.”
I don’t know why he’s so worried, but I’m thankful for his concern.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. How could you know? She won’t even talk about it, about him.” I take a swig of my beer. I wonder if while she was away, she finally talked with someone. “I guess I should be happy she came home, huh?”
I take one last bite of food before placing the container in the sink and throw away the empty beer bottle. I wince as the bottle clanks against the broken glass already in there.
I turn back to Ky. “Sorry about all that, man. Thanks for cleaning this whole mess up and taking care of her hand.”
I slap him on the back in gratitude. I am thankful he has been so cool with all of this and accepting of my sister staying here. I’m sure it can’t be easy for him. All he does is nod.
I grab my workbag and head toward my room the same time my phone buzzes. I reach for it in my pocket and smile at the photo of the beautiful blonde bombshell who always makes me feel at peace. Well, if I can’t snuggle with her tonight, at least hearing the sound of her voice will be the next best thing.
I am quickly jolted awake from a nightmare, drenched in sweat. I wish I was one of those people who can’t remember their dreams, but this is one too close to reality that it’s embedded in my brain. This time when I got the call from my mom and ran back to the apartment, Dani was nowhere in sight and had been in the car with Emmett at the time of the accident. It felt so real. I’m not sure I would have survived had she been in the car with him.
I get up from the bed and walk to the guest room where my sister is staying. It’s been eight nights since she arrived at my front door. I slowly open the bedroom door and see her sound asleep, headphones in her ears and clutching a photo which I don’t even need to look at it to know it’s Emmett. She’s home, and that’s all I need to keep telling myself, but she’s not the same person she was when she left. Or maybe she is, but she’s not the same Dani from before Em died. I’m worried that one morning I’m going to wake up and she’ll be gone. It was hard enough getting through all of this with us as a family; I have no idea how she managed it for years completely alone. My heart breaks for her even more.
The other night when I came home to find Kyler cleaning up broken glass in the kitchen and he explained what happened, it scared the shit out of me. He had no clue that would have triggered her, but is that how she’s going to be from now on? Do we have to walk on eggshells around her? I already hate that Haylee and I are hiding our relationship from her—what else do I need to hide? I push the thoughts from my mind as I close the door and quietly pad back to my room. This isn’t the first time I’ve snuck to her room to check on her.
I sit back on the bed against the headboard, running my hands over my face. I turn to the side of the bed usually occupied by Haylee, expecting to see her lying there. I completely forget for a moment that she’s staying at Cam’s apartment for the time being.
I reach for my phone on the bedside table and dial the only person I know who can calm me down.
“Hello?”
Oh, fuck, her voice is full of sleep. I didn’t even look at the time before I hit “send.” I pull my phone back from my ear to see the time. Shit, it’s 3:30 a.m.
“Hey.”
“Baby, it’s 3:30 in the morning. Are you okay? Is Dani okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. I just… I just…”
“Hey, talk to me. Did you have another nightmare?”
That’s one of the many things I love about this girl; she gets me. Over the years, Haylee has always been there to calm me down when I wake up from these nightmares. It’s been a while since I’ve dreamed of that night. It’s always the same—reliving the night of the accident. Her voice and touch help keep away the ghosts of the past that I know will forever haunt me.
The first time it happened when we were together, I had woken up screaming, and she brought me down. I lay there with my head in her lap crying with no judgment from her. She knew the pain I felt; it mimicked hers. She just sat there, stroking my hair. She brings me peace. These past few days without her have been more of a struggle than I realized.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it. I wish they would go away. It’s bad enough living with the guilt of knowing I let her down.”
“What are you talking about?” Her voice raises, no longer showing signs of exhaustion. I can imagine her sitting straight up in bed, her face full of concern.
“I promised Dani when we left for college that I would take good care of him, and look what happened.”
“You listen to me. We’re not going there again, okay? You are here. I am here. Dani is home. None of it was your fault.” I hear her voice filling with emotion, and I hate that I’m not there to hold her.
Great, now I feel like an even bigger asshole for not only waking her up in the middle of the night but upsetting her.
“Hails, this is stupid. I miss you. You should be here lying next to me. I can’t go another night with you not wrapped in my arms.”
