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“What? Where?” she asked, her eyes growing wide as the realization must have dawned on her that this wasn’t someone else’s doing, it was mine. “Paul, what are you doing?”
She’d let me lead her off the restaurant’s patio and into the middle of the dancers, and I felt her shaking as I held her hand. I totally understood—I was so freaking nervous. It was like my greatest act of heroism that I wasn’t shaking, too.
The dancers were poised around us, still doing their moves. There were couples swing dancing on top of the cars they’d strategically placed. There were couples near us and a few people hyping up the crowd in preparation for my big moment. I was concentrating so hard on not missing my second cue, the one that would signal it was time to drop to one knee, that I almost missed the fact that our friends and family had joined in on the clapping and dancing off to the sides. Much less choreographed, of course, but still.
My eyes darted around, spotting my cousin Nate swaying from side to side with his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Chelsea. Will clapped along to the beat and busted out moves that made me think he was a Jonas Brother in another life while my sister, Aria, looked on with too much laughter to manage dancing. Shelby was with Layla and Lyndi, the three of them sang the lyrics and jumped like they were at a club. My parents, Roxy’s parents, and basically everyone else we knew, were scattered around, grinning at us like fools.
The gang was all here, all eyes on us, and the only thing left to do was pop the question. My gaze met Roxy’s again as I lowered to one knee. My hand had already made its way into my pocket to pull out the small black box. With all of the chaos, it wasn’t until I opened it between us and looked up at her pretty face that I registered the look of sheer terror in her eyes as she stared down at me.
Oh no.
I swallowed. It was just the crowd. I was overwhelmed too, it was fine. This was going to be great. As she’d said, we were looking toward new beginnings. Shelby had structured the flash mob routine so there would still be music covering my words, so the whole world wouldn’t overhear exactly what was said. Which I was grateful for since I was sure I would stumble over my well-rehearsed lines under all of this pressure.
“Roxy,” I started, clearing my throat.
“Oh, crap. Paul, what in the world?”
I chuckled nervously. “I know, it’s a lot, sorry. I didn’t realize it would be this crazy.”
She looked around, her feet shuffling and her palm sweaty in my hand. “It’s a flash mob, Paul. Of course it’s crazy.”
“Yeah, true.” I squeezed her hand and tugged slightly, hoping to catch her attention again. “Roxy, you are a bright spot in a bad day. Getting to know you while I was on recruiting duty made a really hard job so much easier because I knew when I woke up in the morning, I’d get to chat with you throughout the day. I love that you felt the same way talking to me. Now, I want us to have that same feeling forever. Will you marry me?”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and I rose from my knee. The music, or the people, or the chaos around us seemed to cause momentary insanity because I thought her tearful reaction was actually a good thing until her hand hovered over the box in my hand and closed the lid.
My whole body went cold as she pulled our joined hands together between us, the ring box nestled in the center of the cocoon, tears streaming down her face. “Paul. I’m so sorry.”
I nodded numbly, keeping my eyes on hers just because I couldn’t imagine making eye contact with anyone who was watching this go down right now.
“Paul, I said all of that stuff about new beginnings and that we’d make it through distance because I’m not really happy with what we’ve got going on right now. I wasn’t sure how to tell you that I want to go to Texas, so I changed the subject. But marriage? I know we talked about heading this way before you got back … but now? I just don’t think that would be the right choice given how I feel about everything right now. I’m so sorry.”
“What, um, okay.” I couldn’t form a complete sentence, and I was vaguely aware that the crowd was loosening around us.
“Listen, things were amazing when you were in Hawaii and I was here. I honestly think I would have said yes if you’d asked me before you moved back. But since you’ve been here…” She trailed off, crying a little harder, then swallowing so she could continue. “Something has been missing. It doesn’t feel the same as it did before. Do you know what I mean? Have you felt it, too?”
My mind spun. I’d felt like things were off, definitely. But I’d also done a stellar job convincing myself that was nonsense so I could work up the nerve to propose. And now here I stood, looking like a complete idiot in front of all these people.
Sensing that I still wasn’t going to say anything—rightfully so, what could I possibly say?—Roxy squeezed my hands tighter. “Paul, I’m really sorry. This is so sweet. I love that you went to all of this trouble for me. It would have been—no, itwascompletely perfect. It’s just that I don’t think I feel the same way about you as I did when we were long-distance. I’ve been trying to sort it out in my head and get to that place again now that you’re here, but I wasn’t quite there yet.”
I licked my lips, but it didn’t help. My mouth was dry, too. “Yet, huh? Does that mean you want to get to that place again?”
Her face fell and she let go of my hands to put hers on her cheeks as she shook her head. “Afterthis? I feel like I should take that job in Texas after all. I mean, ugh, this is just heartbreaking.”
I looked around as she gestured to the now scattered crowd. The dancers had disappeared, somewhere along the line, the music had stopped, and all of our friends and family had their backs to us to give us some privacy while we talked. The diners on the patio, on the other hand, watched the scene like they were at a dinner theater. Some of them even had phones out, recording my rejection.
And then it occurred to me that Roxy was more heartbroken about the embarrassment of this scenario than what it meant for our relationship, and I felt like an even bigger fool. I found her eyes again, sighing heavily. “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay. But um, I’m gonna go. Take care, Paul.”
My eyes stung as I watched her go. Then I turned on my heel and walked in the opposite direction, the very idea of facing anyone I cared about made me physically ill.
