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He let out a labored sigh. “Son, that topic isn’t gonna be any more fun to talk about. Now, listen up. It’s important.”
“What?” I asked, standing straighter as the hair on the back of my neck raised. “Is everything okay?”
My pops laughed. Or at least, I was pretty sure that was what it was supposed to be. It morphed into another cough, though, and I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the picture of his pained expression that floated through my brain. He hadn’t sounded this bad last time I’d talked to him. How had his condition worsened so quickly?
“I’m dying, Beau. It’s not breaking news. So, no, everything isn’t okay. But that’s why I’m calling. You need to make me a promise while you still can.”
I shook my head. “No. Pops, we’re not there yet. The doctors said—”
“I don’t give a hoot what the docs have to say. You and I both know the end is near. They might have hope that we can beat this thing, but in case we don’t, we need to accept the facts. But hey, come on. You know how much I’ve been missin’ your mama. And… your brother. I’m anxious to see them again.”
Nearly choking on the grief that threatened to spill out of me, I doubled over and thankfully found a chair not far behind me. I backed up and plopped into it, running a hand through my hair. “Wow. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“It’s the truth, son.” His words cracked, and he paused for a beat. “I’ll finally get to be with them again. Doesn’t that make you feel at least a little bit better about this crappy hand we’ve been dealt?”
I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him that after spending my entire life watching him move through each day like a man missing his very heart and soul that nothing would make me happier than to see him finally get some peace. But that was the problem—I wouldn’t beseeinghim get that peace. I’d be saying goodbye. And I wasn’t ready.
“You there?” he asked, breaking me from my muddled thoughts.
“Yeah.”
“You ready to make me a promise?”
I cleared my throat, praying my words wouldn’t break. “Not if you’re asking me to shut down my app. I can’t afford your bills without it.”
I hadn’t meant to sound so harsh about it, but where did he get off asking me to stop doing a job that actually offered me a little bit of fun in the midst of all the pain and grief that birthed it? Being Mr. Fake Date meant I could be anyone. I could be whoever they needed me to be and the one person Ididn’thave to be—myself.
For a short time, I was able to escape the man who’d lost his brother in a car accident when he was five. The man who’d lost his mom to cancer when he was ten and was now losing his dad to the same thing, though attacking a different organ this time. The man whose entire life was like some sad, sick twist of fate.
It felt like the Fates were cutting golden strings, one by one, not planning to stop until I was completely alone.
No.
In the Marine Corps, I got to be the devil dog with a ton of awards and badges for expert marksmanship in every weapon they trained us on. As Mr. Fake Date, I got to be a million things. My whole life was like a vacation from reality, and I wasn’t about to let him make me promise to hang any of that up.
“Boy, fine. You can keep doing your fake dating business because I know it helps with the bills. But I have a feeling I’m not going to be the one to make you hang up your dancin’ shoes in the end.”
I leaned forward in my chair, resting an elbow on my knee, and then lowered my forehead to my hand. “What are you talking about?”
“I want you to promise me that in all that dating, you’re gonna pick one of them girls andloveher.”
I shot out of my chair, blinking at the pond in front of me but not even seeing it through the blinding shock his words had caused. “Loveher? What does that even mean?”
“The fact that you have to ask is exactly my point.” He coughed for a moment, then wheezed out a sigh. “You’re gonna be alone, Beau. I didn’t raise you with kid gloves, even when you were a kid, so I’m giving it to you straight, here.”
“Okay.”
“As excited as I am to go upstairs and spend forever with your mama, I don’t like the idea of leaving this world knowing you’ll be down here all by your stubborn self. So you need to pick one of these fake dates and make her a real one, and then you need to love her because you can’t let me die worried about you. You hear?”
I nodded, my eyes stinging as I stared blankly ahead.
“Beau?” he asked after a minute, obviously not having seen the nod.
“Sorry, yeah. I hear you.”
“So, is that a promise?”
My gut rolled, rocks and boulders the size of the house behind me threatened to tear me apart. “Uh, yeah. Sure, Pops.”
