AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A minute later, he was back, and he was wearing a black shirt with a different pair of sweats than he’d been wearing a moment earlier. “Better?”
“Better. But um, why did you change your pants?” I probably shouldn’t have asked, but whatever. I’d apparently lost my ability to filter myself around this guy.
He laid down on top of the covers, and I heard him shaking out the blanket and covering himself with it in the dark. “Like I said, Layla used alotof water. That’s why I didn’t have a shirt on before. It’s like she cleaned the mess with a fire hose.”
I narrowed my eyes at the nearly black ceiling, making a mental note to ask her if that was an intentional move to stick it to Beau. She wasn’t his biggest fan, and I wouldn’t put it past my crazy, overprotective big sister.
And if ithadbeen intentional, she probably hadn’t considered he’d wind up here.
Not that he particularlywantedto be here. I’d gotten the impression it was the last place he wanted to be. And because of that, I felt the need to get something off my chest so he could relax about my intentions of inviting him to sleep here.
“Beau?” I asked quietly, wondering if he’d already fallen asleep.
He cleared his throat, answering that question. “Yeah?”
“I just want you to know that I get it.”
“Get what?”
“Why you’re so fake.”
I felt the bed rumble with his laughter. “Whoa, shots fired.”
“I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I told you, I’m bad at—”
He held up a finger, silhouetted against the light coming through the open door to the hallway. “Don’t say it.”
“Sorry. What I meant to say is that I get why you don’t want to have a real relationship with me. Or anyone. I know it’s because you think you’ll wind up losing someone else who matters to you.”
There was a long silence, and if it hadn’t been such a delicate topic, I might have thought he’d fallen asleep. Finally, he sighed. “How do you know that?”
“I don’t know. I just see it, I guess.”
“Uh-huh.”
I fidgeted with the sheet. “And I want you to know it’s understandable. And it’s okay. I don’t blame you, and I’m not going to try to change your mind.”
“Um.” Another long pause. “Really?”
“Yes. Why is that surprising?”
“I don’t know, I guess I just figured you’d tell me to man up and get over it.”
I sat up, looking down at him in the dim light. “I think you probably know me well enough by now—the real me, I mean—to know I hate it when people try to get me towomanup and get over my stuff. It’s exhausting. So, I wouldn’t do that to you. Sometimes I think we all need someone who’s going to let us have our things and not try to fix us, you know?”
He stared back at me, his expression completely blank. “Yeah. Makes sense. It is what it is, right?”
“Right.”
I laid back down, this time turning on my side and putting my back to him. His answer to that could only mean one thing: all the little things I’d thought I’d felt between us were either really in my head, or not important enough to him to make a difference in the way he felt.
Which was honestly exactly what I expected. I wouldn’t have invited him in here if I’d thought he’d finally admit that we could try to make this work despite everything that stood in our way. At the end of the day, Beau Devereux was just as unattainable now as he always had been, so he might as well be a paperback book on the other side of those pillows rather than a real man.
“And it’s the same for you too, then,” he said, causing my eyes to pop open in surprise. “With not wanting to date someone who’s leaving, I mean. I get it. And I don’t think you need to worry about how anyone else would perceive you for feeling that way. Because you’re right, this isn’t a romance novel. I’m not the hero and you’re not the heroine, so you don’t need to worry about readers thinking you’re being unsupportive of my job. We’re just two people doing each other a favor, and that’s it.”
I’d never felt so seen in my entire life, and I knew he felt the same way. Which was why the tear slipping down my cheek was so confusing. Why did it matter? He was still the same old Beau I’d had a crush on for over a year with no chance at cracking. Nothing had changed, no matter how much his dad or my family or I might want it to.
I heard him shift behind me, then felt the bed move under his weight. “Lyndi?”
Turning, I jumped when I saw him leaning over the pillow divider. “Yeah?”
“Just so you know… if things were different, if there was ever a right woman… it would be you.”
My mouth fell open before I could even think about clamping it shut. He’d heard my quiet slipup at Layla’s wedding about there being a right man who could get me to leave. I’d wondered but hadn’t known for sure. And now I did.
He reached out, slowly tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. Then he leaned back and disappeared into the dark on the other side of our makeshift wall.
“Good night, Beau,” I said, turning away once again.
“Good night, Lyndi.”
