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23
LYNDI
“Thanks,” I said, momentarily speechless by how hot he’d looked just now.
As usual, Beau looked like he’d just stepped off a runway. His suit was impeccably tailored, playing up his broad shoulders and slim waist. It was the color of a shark, which was fitting, I supposed. And the crisp white shirt he wore with the top buttons open just the right amount pulled it all together into the picture of a perfect summer event.
“No problem.”
“I tried to handle it, but—”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” he cut in, grazing his knuckles over my cheek.
Shoot. This was it, wasn’t it? The moment we threw it all out there only so we could both acknowledge why it would never work.
“Why didn’t you go through with the breakup plan, Beau?”
His lips twitched. “Because I never agreed to it in the first place. We need to talk.”
“We probably shouldn’t, okay? This whole thing is going to do nothing but hurt both of us if we don’t knock it off.”
He reached out, placing one hand on either side of my waist to hold me gently. “I’m not leaving.”
“What? Like, not leaving this spot, or…”
“I’m not leaving South Carolina. Or, at least, I’m doing literally everything in my power to get another three years at the recruit depot.”
My mind spun and I raced to keep up with the whirlwind of hope and excitement and fear. “How?”
“I’m going to put in a package for drill instructor duty and request the East Coast. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s something. It’s better than Hawaii. Even if they put me in California—which I really hope they don’t—even that would be better than putting an ocean between us.”
I closed my eyes, not sure if this was amazing news or if it made me really pathetic and unsupportive, just like we’d talked about. “Beau, you can’t do that for me.”
“It’s not only for you. I don’t want to be that far from my pops, either. It’s a good move for me, and it’s a good move for us.”
“If it’s for your dad, great. I think that’s sweet. But if it would only be for me, that’s not fair.”
“It is, though. You know me better than, well, anyone on the planet at this point. And I know you. This is right for us. It’s definitely fair.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but I’m freaking out. I think this whole fake date thing messed with my mind—like it’s all blurring fake stuff with the real stuff and it’s overwhelming.”
“Lyndi—”
“No, lemme just get this out,” I said quietly. “Beau, none of this is fake for me. It hasn’t been since the beginning. That’s the difference between us. You’re so great at putting on this show for people, and you’re able to act however you’re supposed to act. And while I do that too, I’m also over here letting you see the real me. I can’t tell if the same is true for you.”
“It is.”
“But you didn’twantthis. Youwantedto protect yourself.”
“I did, yeah. But it’s like… even though you try to be ‘normal’ around everyone else and do and say what you think you should, your brain makes sense to my brain.Youmake sense to me. You getme, and I getyou. It works, Lyndi.”
I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again, and his face crumbled like he was worried he messed this whole thing up. He let go of my waist and paced away for a sec, running a hand over his jaw.
Then he moved back to me and took my hands in his. “Before you curl up and die because that was theleastromantic thing you’ve ever heard, and a book boyfriend would never say that, remember I know all about what you want to hear.”
I chuckled, making him look a hundred times lighter. “Oh, you do, huh?”
“Yes.” He stepped closer, bringing my hands flat against his chest so I could feel his heart pounding. “I know how to compliment you so you’ll keep thinking about it for hours. I know how to touch you in just the right way to give you goose bumps. I know exactly what to say to you right now that would be a freakingepicbook-boyfriend-style declaration of love. Because it’smy job,Lyndi. And you’re right, I’m good at it.” He paused, hooking his knuckle under my chin and holding my gaze. “But for once in my life, I’m telling you something real. It’s not a show or a game or an act. This is me, telling you, that this isourstory and we’reit. So, now the question is, is it good enough for you? Does it measure up to the fantasies in your head?”
