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I started to pace around the room but Diesel caught my arm and turned me to face him.
“I know I should have told you. It makes it worse that I didn’t, but I know that. And with you now in my life as my woman, Val, I know I have to change, to act like a grown ass adult.” He pleaded with his eyes, begging me to accept his apology.
“I don’t know, Diesel, this is big. You should have told me.” I folded my arms over my chest and turned away, unable to look at him. My head was angry, full of hurt and a sense of betrayal, but my heart said he had apologized and to get back to caring about him.
This had all started out of lust, that man’s lust, my own lust, their lust, and it made my head spin to think about it. But I’d never felt so grounded as I did now, like I had a support team behind me, and I knew, no matter what decision I’d made, Cameron and Derek would stand behind me. Would Diesel always be there to do the same?
“This is something I’ll live with for the rest of my life, Val. I put you in danger and believe me, I’ve watched over you ever since. I’ve spent every night on that hill behind your house, watching over you from the minute you get home. I’ll keep doing that, for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me. Please, Val. Don’t tell me this over before it even really begins?” Diesel walked up to me, backing me up against the wall until I had to look up to meet his eyes, our bodies pressed intimately together. I couldn’t look away from him, couldn’t speak, because of the pain he revealed with his words and with his face.
His right hand came up to touch my, the fingers delicately tracing my cheekbone. “I won’t ever let anyone hurt you or come near you, ever, Val. Please, give me a chance?”
“I was terrified, you know, Diesel? I had someone following me home, someone broke into my home, I slept with a gun under my pillow.” I paused, letting it all wash over me, through me. Could I let this go? “I don’t know if a promise is enough.”
“I get that.” Diesel nodded and stepped away. His shoulder slumped further, until it almost looked as if he was bent in two. My heart ached for him, but he was the reason this had all happened. “Do you think you can ever forgive me, Val?”
“I don’t know, Diesel.” I sighed, knowing I couldn’t be angry with him for long. It wasn’t like he’d done all of this on purpose. “I guess that’s probably who’s been stalking me and broke into the house then.”
“Probably, but if not, we’ll deal with him too,” Diesel promised and all I could do was nod.
“I am mad at you,” I said with a glare. “I should be very, very mad at you. Not necessarily for the game, or even the guy’s demands, but because you didn’t tell me. That’s what upsets me. What if there are two men after men and not just one? Do I go on like my life is back to normal now or do I worry about a second lunatic?”
“You shouldn’t worry about either. I mean, you should always be cautious, you know, but if there’s another guy, we’ll deal with him to. I swear it.” Diesel looked at me with hope in his eyes and I knew it would take me a while to get over what he’d told me, finally, but I think I could live with it, so long as he started to act more responsibly.
“You deserve to hear a no, Diesel.” I watched him, enjoying the way he squirmed as I glared at him with angry eyes. I should probably make him grovel a little longer, but I didn’t have it in me. Not when I suspected I loved him, maybe always had, even back when we were living under the same roof. I suspected I was falling for all three of my men and I didn’t want to let that go yet. I wanted to inspect it, hold it close to me, protect it from anything that might take it away. Telling Diesel I was done with him would be a mistake and I knew it.
“But?” Diesel asked, hope coming into his dark brown eyes. I loved those eyes. I loved all of their eyes, really.
“I can’t be mad forever. I just can’t be.” I held my hands out to him and he launched himself at me, wearing nothing but the black trousers he’d worn into the place.
“I’m so sorry, Val.”
“Don’t be, just don’t do it ever again, or I’ll have your balls turned into a coin purse,” I promised as I heard the door open.
Cam and Derek came in, both with grins on their faces. “What are you two so happy about?”
“Well, Diesel isn’t dead and we don’t have to clean up a bloodbath. That’s always a reason to be happy in my books,” Derek offered coming to sit beside me on the bed.
“I guess it is. Now, I have a question, one that’s eating me up. Are we going to keep doing this?”
“The threat is gone now,” Derek said with meaning, his eyes going to all of us. “You don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? There’s so much more I want to do. Like trying to get you all off with my mouth at the same time, double penetration, double penetration while I suck one of you, having all three of you one on one and seeing what we can come up with as a twosome, and so much more,” I ended, looking at three stunned faces.
“Who’s an eager beaver?” Diesel teased me so I glared at him.
“Hush,” I spit out, making the glare more glarey.
“Fuck off,” Diesel answered back but pulled me into his arms.
“Was it too much?” I asked, looking around at the other two.
“Not at all. And we’ll do it all. At your pace, Val. I don’t want to stop, do you two?” Derek asked. Cam and Diesel both shook their heads.
“Then she shall be our queen. We’ll break anyone’s neck that looks at her the wrong way,” Derek said, and I saw three faces that could commit murder. That look might scare anyone else, but to me, it meant I had their protection with me always. It wasn’t their protection I wanted, but if it came with the territory, who was I to say no?
Diesel kissed me then, and I cupped my right hand against his cheek. I was worn out, starting to be sore, but fascinated with these three men and what they made me feel. Cameron moved between my legs and Derek moved to my other side, pulling at me for a kiss of his own. I smiled as I turned to him, knowing that this was the start of something that would change our lives forever. I couldn’t wait to see what came next. For all four of us as one. Because that’s what we were now, one. Nothing would ever break that bond. Nothing.
