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“I know.” Alex exhaled a shaky breath, his brows drawn tight over his eyes. He looked less polished than usual, with his rumpled hair and faint purple smudges beneath his eyes. I wondered if he’d been getting enough sleep, then mentally kicked myself for caring. His sleeping habits weren’t my business anymore. “I thought I was protecting you. That you were better off without me. After what happened with my uncle, I couldn’t risk you getting hurt again because of your association with me. But I never left you alone. I had someone keeping an eye on you—”
“Wait.” I held up one hand. “You had me followed?”
“For your protection.”
I couldn’t believe it. “How is that okay? That’s—that’s crazy! How long…oh my God.” My eyes widened. “Do you have someone following me in London, too?”
He stared at me, his face stony.
“Unreal,” I breathed. “You are truly psycho. Where is he?” I looked around frantically. I didn’t see anyone suspect, but the most dangerous people were those who looked anything but. “Call him off. Right now.”
“I already did.”
I narrowed my eyes. That was too easy. “You did?”
“Yes, because I’m taking over his duties. That’s why it took me so long. I had to make…arrangements for my absence in D.C.” Alex’s mouth twitched at my stunned expression. “You’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on.”
“The hell I will.” The thought of seeing him every day sent me into a tailspin of panic. “I’ll file a restraining order against you. Have you arrested for stalking.”
“You can try, but I can’t guarantee my friends in the British government will comply.” His face darkened. “And if you think I’m leaving you alone and unprotected anywhere, you don’t know me at all.”
“I don’t know you. I have no idea who are you are. I only know the person you showed me, and he was an illusion. A fantasy.” Emotion clogged my throat. “I asked you that day if any of it had been real. You looked me in the eye and told me it was a lesson for the future. So, consider the lesson learned.”
Alex flinched. “It was real,” he said hoarsely. “All of it.”
I shook my head, my chest aching so hard it hurt to breathe. “I realize you’re powerful enough that I can’t stop you from doing what you want, but you’re wasting your time if you think I’ll fall for your lies again.”
“They’re not lies. Sunshine—”
“Don’t call me that!” I couldn’t stem the tide of tears gathering in my eyes. I’d been doing so well, but every second in Alex’s presence eroded the defenses I’d built around my heart until it lay naked and vulnerable once more. “You’ve ruined everything I once thought was beautiful. Sunshine. Love. Even freakin’ red velvet cake, because it reminds me of you. And when I think of you—” A sob ripped from my throat. “I think of every good memory we had and how they’re now tainted by the fact you were using me the whole time. I think of how stupid I was for falling for you and how you must’ve laughed at me when I told you I loved you. And I think of all those times you warned me about being too soft-hearted, but I ignored you because I believed the world was an inherently good place. Well, congratulations.” I brushed the tears from my cheeks, but they fell too fast for me to make much of a dent. Thank God most of my classmates had already left and the surrounding street was empty. “That was the one truth you spoke. I was too soft-hearted, and the world is not the place I thought it was. It’s cruel and it’s vicious, and there’s no place for soft hearts.”
“Sun—Ava, no.” Alex reached for me, but I instinctively recoiled. Hurt filled his face. His hand curled into a fist that he stuffed back in his pocket, and the tendons in his neck stretched taut. I detected a tiny tremble in his shoulders as he spoke. “That was what I believed because I’d never known anything else, but you showed me there is beauty in the world. I see it every time I look at you, or see you smile, or hear you laugh. You believe the best of people and that’s a strength, not a weakness. Don’t let anyone, least of all me, take that away from you.” His eyes burned into mine, bright with pain. “You told me once there was something beautiful waiting for me, something that’ll restore my faith in life. I’ve found it. It’s you.”
I wanted to sink into his words until they became my reality, but I’d been burned before. Who knew what he wanted from me this time around?
“You keep talking about protecting me,” I said. “But you hurt me more than anyone else in my life, even Michael. Even when I thought you were an ass, I trusted you to tell the truth, and you turned out to be the biggest liar of all. Just…” I sucked in a deep breath, unable to look at him, it hurt so much. “Leave me alone.”
Alex’s chest heaved like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. “I can’t do that, sweetheart. I’ll wait however long it takes, but I’ll never be okay with a world in which you’re alone.”
“Who says I will be? Maybe I’ll find someone else.”
His eyes darkened into a furious shade of emerald, and his shoulders tensed even more. Somewhere, thunder boomed. I hadn’t noticed the weather morph from sunny to its current gray, gloomy state, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Alex had the power to control it with his emotions. “The hell you will,” he snarled. “I’ll kill any man that touches you.”
“You have no right,” I hissed back. “I don’t belong to you.”
The muscles in his jaw popped. “That’s where you’re wrong. I fucked up. Massively. But I will earn your forgiveness one day, and you are mine. Always. No matter how much time or distance separate us.”
Do you know what it means to be taken by me? It means you’re mine.
I shoved aside the unbidden memory. “I’m not arguing with you any longer.” There was no way I could focus on editing tonight, but at least I could go home and cry myself to sleep like a pathetic moron. Yay me. “You can waste your time in London, but it won’t matter. We’re done.”
I walked away before Alex could respond. Undeterred, he followed me, his every step matching two of mine. Dammit. Why couldn’t I have been born tall like Bridget or Stella?
I ducked my head and picked up my pace, trying to ignore the man beside me as drops of rain splashed on my face and dampened my hair.
“Ava, please.”
I clutched my bag to my chest, using it as armor while I bulldozed my way down the sidewalk.
“At least let me drive you home,” Alex pleaded. “It’s not safe, walking in the dark.”
I’d been walking home for the past two weeks and had no issues. I didn’t live in the best neighborhood, but it wasn’t a war zone. I just had to keep my wits about me. Plus, I had pepper spray, and I’d restarted self-defense lessons at a local martial arts center.
I didn’t say any of that to Alex though.
“It’s cold and raining, and you’re wearing a dress.” No matter how fast I walked, I couldn’t shake him. “Sweetheart, please, you’ll get sick.” His voice broke on the last word.
I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. I kept my head low, desperate to reach the warm safety of my flat. Eventually, Alex stopped talking and simply walked beside me, a glowering presence who ensured everyone else gave me a wide berth.
After what felt like an eternity, we reached my building. I didn’t look at him as I fished my key out of my bag and jammed it into the lock. Water streaked my face—from the rain or my tears, I couldn’t tell.
Alex didn’t follow me inside the building, but I could feel the heat of his gaze as I slipped inside.
Don’t look. Don’t look.
