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Mai reaches a reassuring hand for me and places it on my arm. “No, not at all. Bailey misses having Isaac around.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, now that Isaac doesn’t spend time with Bailey anymore, it’s left him at a bit of a loose end. Not to worry, I’m sure it will sort itself out.”
I try to make sense of what she’s saying. “What do you mean not seeing Bailey? Isaac was at yours the day before last.”
Mai looks at me in confusion. “No, Amber. Isaac hasn’t been around for two weeks.”
My eyes sweep over the spectators until I find Isaac still leaning against a wall. “Excuse me,” I say to Mai, already weaving my way through the crowd.
“You are coming with me,” I state as soon as I am in speaking, not shouting, distance.
“Don’t you want to watch the big race?”
Freddy will be in the car by now, too late for me to wish him luck anyhow. “No. Come on.”
I grab hold of his hand, keeping my grasp firm as I lead us to the exit. Once there, I take big lungful’s of air, trying to calm myself down. I never thought Isaac would lie to me.
“Where were you the day before last?”
The cogs in his brain actively whirl. “At Bailey’s.” He shrugs.
“Liar. You weren’t there, his mum just told me. Where were you?”
He looks shocked that I’ve called him a liar and I know the word will resound in my brain for the rest of the day, but my shock at finding out he’s been lying to me about where he is has knocked all sense of propriety out of me.
“Where were you, Isaac? You are nine years old. You can’t be out somewhere by yourself without Freddy or me knowing. What if something happened to you? What if you were in an accident? What if someone took you and I didn’t know?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything, and I definitely don’t have to tell Freddy.”
“Yes, you do.” I can feel my face burning bright red.
“What, Mum? Am I just expected to accept another dad, without question? How many more men are you going to make me live with on your quest to find real love?”
“What are you talking about? I spoke to you about Freddy, right back at the beginning. I told you how it would be.”
“I’m nine, Mum. You just said it. How am I supposed to know what I’m agreeing to?”
“What are you saying, Isaac?”
“Maybe I’m saying I don’t want anotherdaddy.”
“Freddy has never been like that with you, Isaac, and you know it. I think his feelings would be really hurt if he found out you were implying he’d overstepped the mark.”
“And?”
Oh my god. That does it.
Catching hold of him by the arm, I drag him in the direction of the parking lot and our car. The race is forgotten about, everything is forgotten about. It’s just my son and me.
“Buckle up,” I shout, once we are in the car. He doesn’t mess around; he slots the seatbelt straight into its socket.
Flinging the car into first, I drive at speed down the winding roads away from the track. It’s only when I see Isaac gripping onto the seat that I ease the tension on the accelerator and reduce my speed to a more sedate cruise. I don’t know where to go. I need to calm down and clear my head, but if I go home, I will lose Isaac to his room again, and that will be the end of our conversation. I’m not ready for it to end yet, and I need to sort it out for both our sakes. If Isaac is fighting at school, dropping his best friend, and getting into trouble, and the reason behind it isme,then I need to fix it.
Isaac comes first.
I find my way to the woodland area where Freddy and I had our first date, where I brought him not that long ago on his birthday, the night my mum died. A solid lump of hard rock starts to build in my chest.
