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Chapter 6
JADE
For the next week I’m drowning in a deep pool of schoolwork and playing catch-up. The night I spent with Bass after Ace’s party is now just a distant memory. Things have been pretty out of sorts lately, everything around me is just not making any sense. Scar has been acting stranger than usual, things between her and Ace seemingly getting better before turning for the worst, again. Everyone else is still pissed at Scarlett and keeping their distance from us, except Stella, although she’s also been acting strange, but I know she is dealing with some of her own shit as the anniversary of her mother’s death approaches, and how her asshole of an uncle, Stephan Silver, has been requesting her attendance at his house every weekend.
As for Sebastian, well he’s been hounding me day and night with meaningless texts claiming he misses me and wants to see me. Totally out of fucking character if you ask me. I’ve ignored his messages for as long as I could and now only send half assed responses when unable to stand the continuous badgering. The night after we got back from Torment, and the little spectacle that played out in front of me, things took an awkward turn. He seemed to be put off by the whole situation, not really knowing how to react to what he almost witnessed, but what those men almost did to me didn’t scare me, not really. What frightened me most was the look in his eyes as he watched me, like I was a porcelain doll about to shatter to pieces after being played with. I’m not a doll, especially not one made of such a fragile material, chipping at the slightest of impacts.
I don’t need his pity, I don't need him feeling guilty about what could have happened had he not shown up, which I’m sure is the reason he’s been checking up on me. It’s not like the great, all powerful Sebastian Silver is genuinely interested in spending time with a girl unless he’s shoving his dick into her, repeatedly and forcefully. His reputation precedes him, and I’m not judging, I mean who am I to deem him a certified manwhore, not when my own isn’t as pristine as one would hope. However, I’m not stupid either, not some hussy falling for his sweet talk and promises of a good time. I know for a fact he's arealgood time, but all these mixed feelings and interfering signals coming off from him are not something I want to dive into. Not now, not ever. I have enough underlying emotional daddy issues and shitty male baggage to last me a lifetime, while he’s the poster child for being emotionally unavailable and brutal.
So it’s best that we do not continue to play this game of cat and mouse we both seem to keep falling into. It’s best we just rack it up to temporary insanity or permanent madness. Either way it’s packed up nicely, locked in a fortified metal box, and shipped off to the middle of fucking nowhere never to seen again.
At least I hope that’s the case.
???
“You were the one who was always supposed to be there for me. Because in the end, all we really have is each other, and now I can’t even count on you.” Scarlett stared at me with a look of apathy, as if what I was saying meant nothing to her. While I on the other hand was utterly consumed with despair not understanding what the hell could possibly be going through her head at that precise moment..
“It is what it is, Jade,” she uttered, almost annoyed by our exchange, “the fact that you thought I’d always be there, the fact that you believed things would never change, goes to show how naïve you really are.” Naive really, said the girl who came here trying to make me believe we were going to have this happily ever after together, always. “Roman was right to leave when he did. He was a realist, knew that things for us were never going to change for the better. That we’d always be who we were born to be and were destined to make the same mistakes as our parents. He just got out before he did. It’s not too late for you Jade, to ensure you don’t make the same mistakes as your father, trusting a woman he had no business trusting.” I once was the one who told her that we were destined to suffer for our parents' sins, bound to make the same mistakes, and it was her who told me we were not the product of their wrongs, we were their retribution. We were to become so much more than they ever would, that together we’d bring forth a reckoning. Now look at what she’s made of us.
I started laughing hysterically, the only way I knew how to deal with the situation I was in was to make a mockery of it. Tears endlessly flowed out from my eyes as I crouched down on the edge of the tub, turning to face her, “I’d rather make his mistakes a hundred times over, than to fall for that devil’s tricks,” I reached a hand out as I ran my fingers delicately over her cheek. “You once said we were foolish to believe that anything could come between us. What’s changed?”
She closed her clear blue eyes, that hid the daunting truth of her actions, refusing to look up at me, cowardly hiding behind the tears pooling in them as she whispered, “Everything.”
???
Everything.
That’s the last word I heard whispered from my sister's lips as I turned my back and walked away from her, leaving her to drown away her selfish sorrows in the bottom of her bathtub. Her pale skin covered in bruises and bloody scrapes were nothing compared to how fucking broken she looked to be on the inside. She was a fucking disaster sitting there bathing in her own blood that dripped from the scratches marring her body as she spewed continuous lies and false statements at me. But she chose her words carefully, she knew how I would react, she understood they would push me away and ruin what we had. And yet she chose to destroy our relationship. Whether it is because of some pathetic sacrifice she keeps telling herself she needs to make to protect me, she laid her own grave. And this time I won’t be there to drag her out of it.
Enough is enough, and if she can’t find it in herself to trust me, her sister, her best friend, her confidant, then I don’t want her to be a part of my life. In the end everyone leaves me, but this time it’s me who is walking away.
I replay our fight over and over in my head, the blatant lies I listened to as she aimlessly tried to convince me, convince herself, that she meant the words she was incessantly spewing. In real Jade fashion, I’m drowning them out, burying them deep down in the bottom of a bottle of liquor, the way I know best. Thanks to daddy dearest, there is one thing I’m good at. I bet wherever he is, he’s finally proud. I’m utterly alone and drunk off my ass, that’s all he ever wanted for his little spawn.
There is only one other thing, usually hand in hand with the liquor, I’ve fallen victim to whenever I’ve recently felt alone. I run straight into the arms of the only soul out there who is possibly more damaged than I am. Because he saw right through me since the first time we were together, he knew that as much as I believed I need to be in control, what I really need is for someone to make me lose it. I need someone to make me feel powerless, dominated, and resigned to the feelings he brings forth in me.
Nobody knows how to make me feel quite like Sebastian Silver.
Which is why the night of Scar’s eighteenth birthday, I agreed to go with Liam. I hoped that showing up with him might let Sebastian know I’m not one of these chicks pining after him hoping to turn our casual fucks into anything more. I’m not looking for a commitment, not expecting anything from him or anyone after just a few harmless orgasms, even if they were the best I’ve ever had.
However, when I walked into the party, hanging onto Liam’s arm, the way Sebastian watched me from his spot across the room, his face morphing into one of those scary murderer costume masks, I knew it was a bad idea.
I shake the memory of his expression out of my mind as I rush down the cobblestone path toward the Silver’s beach house. I know Sebastian has been staying here the past few weeks. He’d been staying with Ace at his family’s beach house since the start of senior year, but since the first time we slept together at the cabin, and every time since then, we’ve come here for privacy. The ocean breeze welcomes me, sending a shivering coldness through me as its waves gently crash along the shore. The crescent in the sky does little to illuminate my path and surroundings, but I know my way around even in the bitter darkness of the night.
I slowly walk up the steps of the nautical yet eclectic beach cottage holding onto one of the sandstone pillars of the porch to steady myself with one hand, a bottle of my favorite Bombay Sapphire Gin, my new drink of choice, in my other. Make that a half empty bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin. A quarter of it went down my throat, the other fourth may or may not be serving as my current perfume. What can I say I’m sloppy when I drink. I glare toward the entrance finding a large, ornate glass door with a white trim and blue hinges and handles. The house is dark but I can make out a shadow moving inside, illuminated by the bright light of the kitchen as it moves around the large space.
“Why the fuck am I here?” I murmur to myself in a muffled whisper as I turn around and head down the steps cursing my stupid decision to come here. But in my slightly intoxicated state, I falter slightly setting off the motion sensor light I was earlier able to evade. Fuck. I tip toe further down the steps hoping the shadow moving inside didn’t notice me lurking around but stop when I hear the front door creak open behind me.
“Jade?” he asks, his deep, husky rasp sending an icy chill through me that somehow sets my body ablaze. Sebastian’s voice is the epitome of seduction, every letter elongated and made to sound breathless as he enunciates every syllable. It’s a fucking wet dream to hear him utter the simplest of phrases, not to mention how fucking bewitching it is to hear him mutter my name. “Jade is that you?” he asks again and my body involuntarily turns to face the sorcerer that calls upon it.
His eyes go dark as he watches me approach him, the smoky gray I’ve come to fantasize about now a deep onyx I’ve grown to need. Because the darkening of his eyes is the telltale sign of the possessive and dominating beast that emerges when I am near. My feral monster has come out to play, and once again the small submissive wolf deep inside me, one I never knew was there before he unleashed her, is hypnotized by her alpha. I smirk widely at the thought and I know he senses what I’ve come for as a wide grin appears on his perfect smug face. Because despite what I believe, he knows me so well. His hair is the darkest shade of black and tousled in wet waves around his face. He’s dressed in nothing but a pair of dark gray sweats hung low on his hips displaying the tantalizing muscles of his chest and abdomen, sparsely splattered with small splotches of ink, down to the indentation of his pelvic bone forming a perfect deep V shape disappearing behind the softest of materials.
I reach the top of the steps just a mere two feet from where he stands just outside his door, the porch light above us now illuminating him and reflecting off his gray eyes making them appear almost transparent. Compared to him I must look like a mess dressed in my short teal and black patterned pajama bottoms and matching tank, my eyes red rimmed and glossy thanks to the gin and endless tears spewing out of them. Not to mention these gray fluffy slippers on my feet. I wiggle my toes and curse myself for not thinking this through before showing up here like this. Fuck my impulsivity. I didn’t even bother grabbing a sweater before running out of the quarter, but the liquor and lust filled look in his eyes sending a blazing heat through me overpowers the brisk cool air of this cold January night.
“What are you doing here Jade?” he asks, the tone in his voice sounding much colder as his smile all but dissipates. Fuck, he must have remembered how I’ve practically blown him off since that night we were here after Ace’s birthday party. A whole fucking week practically.
“I need somewhere to crash,” I blurt out without thinking, the voices in my head cursing me for being so impulsive. “I got in a fight with Scar and I can’t be anywhere near her right now.”
He nods in acceptance, after all he was the one who called me and told me what had happened at the cabin and how Scarlett broke things off with Ace earlier today before I saw her. “Why’d you come here?” he asks, and I’m honestly shocked I’m getting such resistance from him. If anything I guess I expected him to greet me with arms wide open, dick out, and drag me to his bed to have his way with me. Afterall angry sex is our thing. I guess I need to piss him off.
