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Chapter 12
JADE
I accepted the ride back into town from Grayson, not wanting to deal with taking the city bus this late and dealing with some druggies or fucking homeless dudes looking for good time. The ride was quiet for the most part, as they’ve both been really good at letting me sulk around and not hounding me with questions like ‘what are you going to do now’,or‘how are you going to tell him’,or ‘are you going to keep it’?I’m grateful for that because first of all I have no idea what the fuck happens next, all I do know is that no matter what comes next there is one thing I’m sure of. I’m having this baby.
I changed into a clean outfit before leaving, my previous one stained with vomit. I went with a pair of low-rise, faux leather skinny jeans and paired them with a teal crop-top bearing my midriff and jade stone belly button ring. Who knows how long before my body starts changing so I better make the most of my clothes which all seem to be missing the lower half. My dark blond hair is in soft waves down my back and my makeup is simple yet with plenty of coverage. Afterall, I need to hide the large, dark bags under my eyes and burst blood vessels from all the vomiting.
Grayson pulls up to the Silver’s Estate, a majestic, white, modern, and elegant palace, with floor to ceiling windows surrounding the entirety of the first floor. There are large, marbled columns lining the front entrance, and a matching fountain sitting in the middle of the cobblestones pathway to the front door. This is where the party is, this is where the text I received from Sebastian himself, asked me to come. I recall reading the texts this morning, while waking up to another very lucid dream like the one I’ve had every night this week. They’re hot, sultry, and so fucking real. Well maybe that’s because they are. At least they were because instead of dreams they’re memories, flashbacks of what things were like between us.
The first text I opened sent a surge of need through me at the tone of dominance I’ve come accustomed to.
CUPCAKE: My father is throwing me a party tonight at his house. Come, we need to talk. You need to hear what I have to say.
The next one simply read…
CUPCAKE: I miss you.
But I know what he really meant was I miss fucking you. And the last one, I didn’t bother reading.
The luxurious mansion is fully decked out with everything and anything you can imagine. It’s Sebastian Silver’s eighteenth birthday after all, and in usual Horsemen style, there is a grandiose party being thrown in his honor.
I push open the door to Grayson’s small hatchback sedan ready to climb out and head in when she reaches out to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to do this today my dear. You don’t have to do this alone,” she says, and a pain of sadness washes over me. Grayson and her wife Sarah are the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother.
“I know Grayson, and I’m not going to. Today is just for me, I’m here because I need to show them, to show him, I’m not this weak and pathetic little girl they think I am.”
“Oh Jade sweetie I can promise you no one can ever think you are at all weak. You my dear, and your sister, are the strongest girls I know. I mean look at you, with everything that’s been going on, that’s happened, here you are back at square one ready to move along. And Scarlett, she just...”
I interrupt her before she can finish, knowing exactly what she’s going to say. “I know Grayson, I know Scar’s been through hell and back these last few months. I know she must have a particularly good reason as to why she didn’t confide in me, as to why she didn’t tell me the truth. And of course I will forgive her, she’s my sister, the only ally I have left. But it’s going to take some time, I have bigger fish to fry,” I say jokingly, trying to break the uncomfortable and solemn mood. It’s what I do when I’m nervous, or sad, or feeling anything I can’t explain or want others to see. I use humor as a shield, as a coat of armor no one can break through.
“When do you grow up?” she asks, tears pooling in her hazel eyes as she looks at me adoringly.
“Maybe when I went around acting like an adult and making babies,” I say with a nervous chuckle. Fuck there I go again deflecting with humor.
“I’m serious Jade, you have matured in a way that you hadn’t before. The old Jade wouldn’t be so understanding as to other points of view. Her temperament and impulsiveness would have gotten the best of her.”
“Oh come on Grayson, the old Jade would have lost her temper when she found out she was lied to and betrayed and would have impulsively run away before getting the full story. Oh wait, I did all of that. I’m no different than I was two weeks ago.” Well other than one major little dilemma.
“Enough with the sass,” she says scolding me, “I’m serious Jade, you’re coming back to hear the whole story, to hear from others who’ve hurt you. You are maturing whether you see it or not.”
“Well maybe motherhood is changing me,” I say, rolling my eyes like a brat. I get what she’s saying but I can’t help with the sass.
“You say it as a joke but it has. Yes you freaked out as any sane seventeen-year-old would, but you’re accepting responsibility for your actions and even if you're not consciously doing it, you’re making decisions based on what’s best for the baby you are carrying inside of you.”
I throw my arms over Grayson, snuggling my face in her neck trying my hardest to push back the tears, asking me for their release. “I love you,” I say, and I fucking mean it. Alice and Sarah Grayson came into my life at a time I needed them the most. I was bitter and angry at the world that rid me of my mother and left me all alone to fend for myself throwing perilous monsters at me from every direction. I saw no escape, but they showed me I had so much more to give, that I could become the person I’ve always wanted to be. A woman my mother would be proud of. If only I hadn’t been so reckless.
“I love you too my dear,” she says, rubbing my back tracing gentle circles across it. I need to step away before I convince myself I can’t do this and run back with her to the house and hide away forever.
At my release I step out of the vehicle, my overnight bag slung over my shoulder, as I face forward toward the entrance of the estate. I place my hand over my stomach, for the first time acknowledging there is something, someone growing in there. “Grayson’s right,” I mutter to myself, or more to the tiny seed in my stomach, “No matter what happens, no matter what fate has in store for us I will protect you.” I slowly trace my fingers along my navel, gently caressing the skin around it, “It’s just you and me against the world, Little Monster. I promise you that.”
