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Chapter 24
JADE
It’s 3 a.m. The room is alarmingly cold, the walls closing in making me feel nauseatingly claustrophobic, as a crickets' shrill chirps from outside my window ring loudly in my ear, and the bright street lamp shines through the small crack of the blackout curtains nearly blinding me. I’ve been lying awake in bed beside a snoring Stella for over an hour afraid if I sit or move I’m going to puke. I don’t want to puke, not again, and definitely not in front of Stella. Surprisingly, she hasn’t noticed I haven’t been drinking, which to be honest is a major red flag, or if she has she hasn’t brought it up. I’ve been scarfing food down like a crazy person but I admit I’ve always had a pretty strong appetite, especially for anything fried, greasy, and with artery clogging properties. Which reminds me, I could really use a snack.
I slowly, without making too much noise, sit up creeping out of the queen size bed in Drake’s bedroom. Since Jaxon went to stay at the dorms with Ruby, I figured we would stay in his room since it is the smaller of the three but still roughly the size of our rooms back at the academy. However, Drake insisted we stay in his room, the biggest, yet the only one with an attached bathroom. He figured it would give us some added privacy and he and Kai could use the other one down the hall. I must admit it was quite thoughtful of him and totally uncommon.
I find it somewhat hard to navigate through the room in the dark, however there isn’t much furniture to bump into. My mouth waters as I remember the donut’s I stored in the pantry away from Kai’s sneaky hands, but just as I head toward the door, an eerily familiar metallic pang hits my throat as my head goes woozy. Fuck. It’s been almost six days since the last time I puked, the day I confronted Roman. I thought that stage of pregnancy was done and over once you went into the second trimester. Lucky for me, the bathroom is straight ahead.
After puking away last night’s dinner, loudly I might add, I head out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I try my hardest to keep quiet but fail miserably as I crash into the small dining table.
“Fuck,” I curse out quietly limping further into the room.
“Can’t sleep?” asks a deep voice coming from within the darkness. Kai. I look around the room but can’t see anyone until he finally reveals himself, sitting on the single recliner facing me, his legs spread, elbows leaning on his knees, and his head resting in his palms. He rubs his chin a few times, seemingly anxious or frustrated before he continues, “Same here.”
“You usually up this late?” I ask him, as I move to sit on the couch across from him.
He sighs loudly, leaning back against the recliner, “The demons are restless this late at night, too loud and too fucking needy, it’s nearly impossible to catch a wink of sleep.” I can hear the pain in his voice, thick, coarse, and coated in sorrow. I almost feel like an idiot for complaining about my trivial problems when someone like Kai has things ten times worse. I don’t know the extent of what happened to him as a child before he arrived at the Grayson’s Foster House at age eleven, but I do know it’s something that’s scarred my best friend in more ways than one.
Scarlett and the guys are the only ones who know the truth, and that’s just because she overheard him when he confessed it all to Drake. She didn’t tell me, I didn’t ask. Those kinds of things aren’t broadcasted to the world and it’s a sort of code between us foster kids that we don’t ask about our past, our pitiful sob stories. One night a few years ago, we had a bonfire down at the beach near Pleasant Hills and we all made a pact. It was the day we became a family, brother’s, and sister’s, forever friends. We swore to each other we’d always remain connected, we’d begin a new life forgetting all about our past one, yet it looks like we all have problems letting go.
Falling back onto the couch I stare up at the ceiling, “Yeah I guess I just learned to tune mine out, or they stopped talking altogether and left. People tend to leave me; I wouldn’t be surprised if my demons figured they’d be better off without me too.”
“I’m still here,” he whispers, and I’m not sure if he meant for me to hear it. However, I know he means every word, Kai is anything but a liar. He may hide his truths behind his promiscuous and playful facade, but when it matters you can count on hearing the truth from him. Except when it comes to Stella Silver. I’m afraid my dear friend has gotten under his skin and he has no fucking clue what to do about it.
“Even if I keep her?” I ask, referring to my tight friendship with Stella.
His face goes rigid at my remark. I knew it. “Jade,” he mutters, taking a deep breath, “I’m still here and I always will be, and Stella,” he whispers exhaling, “I’m doing her a favor. She’s too good, too pure, my demons too powerful they would tear her to pieces in a matter of seconds, and worse of all they’d fucking enjoy it.”
“She’s not as innocent as she seems to be, Kai. Stella’s been through a hell of a lot too, she has demons of her own that I’m sure could give yours a run for their money.”
“Yeah I know, that’s not something I’m not aware of. She’s hurting, she’s been hurt before, but that is exactly why I can’t go there.” He runs a hand through his shaggy, brown hair, tugging his curls slightly. “I’m fucked up Jade, screwed in every way possible, and unlike you, my cracks can’t be fixed.”
I wince at the sadness of his words and how true I know they are to him. That’s the thing about us orphans, people may tell us over and over that we can overcome everything we’ve been dealt, that we are not the products of our upbringing, but the truth is, unless you’ve lived our lives, there is no way you can understand how hard it is to believe it for yourself.
Talk about insecurities.
I lay my head down on the couch's armrest, stretching my legs out until I’m flat on my back. “I know Malachi, I know.”
For once, sleep comes without a damn worry.
???
“You think she can hear us?” Stella whispers, hovering over me. My eyes are closed but I can feel her hot breath against my cheek. She smells of her homemade spearmint and eucalyptus toothpaste.
“Nah she’s out like a light, I mean she was snoring just moments ago.” That’s Drake, moving about the room, his voice not as close as hers.
“Wakey, wakey sleeping beauty,” Kai mocks, as he sits at my feet. He grabs my legs, lifting them and throwing them over his lap. I open my eyes slowly, finding all three of them staring down at me with happy-go-lucky grins. “We’re going out Wolfe. Jax and Ruby are meeting us down at Scottie’s for breakfast, well it’ll be lunch by the time we get down there.”
“Yeah luckily they serve breakfast all day because I’m in need of some french toast and waffles after all the fucking weed we smoked last night,” Drake murmurs, rubbing his hand over his tired eyes.
Stella turns to face him, “Yeah where’d you run off to Damon? You were out like all night,” she asks, her inquiry, which sounds more like jealousy, stunning the three of us.
I notice Drake's expression turns serious for a moment before a playful grin appears. He walks over to where Stella stands, throwing an arm over her shoulder, “Keeping tabs on me Silver?” he asks, with a playful wink.
My vision focuses as I sit up and notice they’re already dressed. Drake wears black jeans and a black V-neck shirt, a shiny gold chain hanging around his neck. Real gold, interesting. Stella is in her usual pleated skirt, this one dark blue and seemingly shorter, paired off with tan booties, and a light brown sweater. Kai’s wearing blue ripped jeans and a white short-sleeve, button up shirt, buttoned only halfway, exposing his hairless, tanned chest, and here I am, in old sweatpants and matching hoodie.
“No, I mean I assume you stayed out pretty late,” Stella answers, nervously twirling her hair. However, I don’t think she’s aware that by doing so, it kind of looks like she’s flirting back. Kai’s anxious chuckle proves I’m not the only one who sees it. Drake and Stella have beenflirtywith each other since she arrived five days ago, and now I’m not sure I understand what it means.
