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But a tea date?
I logged on to the dating app, took screenshots of Rick’s profile, and texted them to Mae.
Me: To show the police if my severed head is found stuffed inside a duffel bag.
Crazy Bestie: He’s totally hot! Did you shave all your naughty bits?
I ignored her text and checked the clock again. Tonight was the night I would pop my cherry.
No! I was not a thirty-five-year-old virgin, thank you very much. I was talking about my online dating cherry.
My prior dating experience was old-fashioned.
Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl flirt.
Boy asks girl out.
Boy and girl boink.
The good ole days. When were the good ole days?
My ambition to become the best psychiatrist in my field had lulled my libido into cryogenic sleep. I hadn’t even missed it untilheshowed up at the dog kennel.
Or I should say caught me.
That was the moment Lustful Lila had stirred from her long slumber.
Stirred? Who was I kidding? The vixen woke up with a start as if five-alarm bells blared right above her head. In the split second it took her to jump out of bed, my sex drive morphed from Ice Queen to Fire Dragon, stoking the flames to a bazillion centigrade.
Well, this girl was horny, and she needed someone, anyone to fix that problem.
No matter how many times I fantasized about feeling Hawk’s rock-hard abs pressed against me or squeezing his rock-hard butt or grabbing the shaft of his rock-hard—
“Yo! Earth to Lila.” Mae waltzed into my office with the grace of a ballerina, interrupting my rock-hard reverie.
I should have waited until I was in the car before sending her that text. I wasn’t in the mood for her teasing today. Most of the time I loved to have my best friend working in the same building as me, but not when I was in a hurry…and in a panic about a stupid date. “Hi, Mae.”
“Finally! Do you know how many times I called out your name? You looked catatonic.” A mischievous grin replaced her angelic, delicate features. “Were you thinking of tearingRicarrrrdo’sclothes off?”
She studied her phone. “I’m not getting the gonna-rip-your-head-off-and-stuff-it-in-a-bag vibe.”
“We’ll talk later. I don’t want the whole clinic to know—”
“The vibe I’m feeling is more of a hung-like-a-horse-gonna-hammer-your-pussy one.”
Her face might be angelic, but her mind was all she-devil.
I shushed her. “Keep your voice down.”
“This is going to be great. I’m sure he’ll be the cure you from your recent obsession.”
“Yes. Yes.” I gently shoved her into the hall. “I have to get ready. Totally freakin’ out here.”
“Make sure you grab him by the—”
I slapped my hand over her mouth.
