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“Tell the bitch off.”
I suppressed a laugh. Rachel was one of my favorite clients. This crude honesty of hers was so refreshing. “What are you going to do if she invites you out to supper again?”
“Tell her no.”
“What if she promises to not order drinks?”
“Well, it would be fine if she would just not order drinks.”
“Obviously, Gina is not supportive of your recovery, and it was wrong of her to lie to you. However, she didn’t force the drink on you. You could have refused it. You could have left. If you’re not yet at that stage of your recovery, then you need to refuse all outings until you gain more control of yourself.
“In order to lead a healthy social life, you have to be strong enough to be around alcohol without giving in to temptation. You know you aren’t there yet. You can’t blame it all on Gina. We’ve talked about this before. If you’re going to go out, it’s on you and you alone to stay sober. If your friends aren’t supportive, then you need to decide if they’re worth keeping in your life. Gina’s not going to change. This has become a recurring pattern. What do we do with recurring patterns?”
“We interrupt them,” she said with a lot of attitude.
I knew how she felt. I was just as reluctant about my patterns. But I needed to follow my own advice. Cut out my addiction before I lost my job and before someone else got hospitalized. There was only one way to overcome this. Change the pattern. But how? He was the one who kept showing up.
Oh no, now I was the one making excuses and blaming him for my lack of control, just like Rachel did with Gina.
I took a deep breath. I recognized what I was doing, and I knew how to change it. I brought my attention back to Rachel. “And how do we interrupt the patterns?”
She sighed wearily. “We stop reacting the same way as before. Next time, we must do something different from how we always behave and act.”
“So, what will you do next time Gina invites you out?”
She fidgeted in her seat. “Say no.”
I too would say no to Hawk. It was the only way. “And if Gina promises to not order alcohol?”
“But I don’t want to stay home all the time,” she whined. “I want to go out and have fun with my friends.”
“And you’ll be able to in the future. Once you have more control over your addiction. But your actions aren’t showing that you’re ready for that. So, what will you tell Gina?”
“No.”
“And if she insists?”
“No.”
“And if she teases you for being a party pooper?”
“Hang up on her.”
And I had to do the same. “Good. This is a big breakthrough today, Rachel. I’m really proud of you. I’ll see you next week.”
It was a breakthrough for me too. I was ready. Once she left, I took out my phone and blocked Hawk’s number.
