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My chest constricted to the point I could barely breathe. What was this bullshit? I came here to talk about our relationship, not my fucking childhood. “You know nothing about me. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I do. I might not know all the details of your life, but I know who you are. I know your heart and that you have both good and evil in you. You struggle between those two every day. And that struggle torments you, causing you more suffering than most people can ever imagine. More agony than most men can handle.”
I pressed my fist to my chest, trying to ease the pain.
“But you survived. You live with that pain. A pain that would have destroyed most people. You’re strong, and I’m not talking about your muscles. You have greater strength and resilience than anyone I’ve ever met.
“And, most importantly, you haven’t let that pain destroy you. You’re here. Alive! And even though you still lead a savage life, you’ve hung on to a part of your humanity. You volunteer. You adopt animals in need of a home. You tried to keep your distance from me to protect me. These are all the actions of a good man.”
I shook my head.
“Yes, Hawk. A good man but also a ruthless one. You’re both. And I have fallen for both.”
The moment her lips met mine, something within me stopped fighting. I melted into her embrace. She kissed me in a way that convinced me her words were true. Full of adoration and tenderness. Her feelings were genuine and she cared about me.
I let her shower me with love. I also let my guard down. Forgetting even that I had my back to the door.
We tore each other’s clothes off with a kind of desperation I’d never felt before. There was no carnal lust tonight. It wasn’t about sexual gratification but about a need to express how I felt about her because I couldn’t say the words.
I hadn’t fallen for her as much as she had for me. I didn’t love her. But I did have feelings for her, more than I’ve ever had for anyone.
We clung to each other, needing our bodies to be as close as possible. I grabbed the last foil packet from my jacket and fumbled with it, my fingers practically shaking with overwhelming emotion.
In one thrust, I was deep inside her, connecting with her at a deeper level. It wasn’t about my dick or her pussy but about joining two people in an expression of…not love, but something deep and so powerful I had no words for. Something foreign to me.
I kissed her with as much passionate affection as she’d kissed me. “Lila…Lila…” I repeated her name so many times and hoped she could hear the emotions pouring out of my voice. I wanted to tell her I cared about her so very much, that she was the most amazing woman and beautiful soul. I needed her to know that without her, I’d be lost in the darkness. But I couldn’t say the damn words. So, I kept chanting her name.
I came too quickly. I didn’t have time to rub her clit or give her the type of pounding I’d grown addicted to. As my orgasm took over, a rush of emotions flooded out of me. It overcame me with an intensity so strong I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. My groan came out in a strangled cry.
She held me tight, her touch tender, her arms accepting all of me as I was, her body welcoming me home.
I clung to Lila. I never wanted to let go. We drifted off to sleep in each other’s embrace.
