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"I was thinking this could be the nursery," Jax murmurs, wrapping his arms around me from behind as I stand in the doorway of the little room. There's nothing in it, but it would make a great nursery. He nuzzles his face into my throat, planting sweet little kisses all up and down the sensitive skin beneath my ear. "We'll be able to keep the babies close."
"You say that like we're already expecting one," I say, smiling. Every time he brings up babies, my stomach flutters. I never thought I could have this with him. When he told me that he never wanted to mess up a kid's life, my heart broke into tiny pieces. They're finally stitching themselves back together, and it's like I'm living in one of my dreams. Only in this one, I know exactly what his body feels like pressed to mine, and how gritty his voice gets when he's turned on. I know what he tastes like and how soft his lips feel against mine.
I don't have to pinch myself to know this is reality. In my dreams, I never knew how he tasted or exactly what it felt like to have his arms around me. This is a full sensory experience, unmistakably real.
"We will be soon." He nips my throat. "As soon as you agree to marry me, I plan to strip you down and make love to you, rabbit."
"Jax," I gasp, spinning around to face him. My heart slams against my ribcage. My hands shake. "What? Are you serious?"
A brilliant smile overtakes his face, little hints of mischief dancing in his eyes.
I gasp again, bringing my hands to my mouth when he immediately drops to his knees in front of me, reaching into his pocket.
"Oh my god," I whisper, stunned.
"Marry me, rabbit," he says, pulling a ring out of his pocket.
Seeing it brings tears to my eyes. It's my mom's ring. Diamonds surround the pear cut sapphire on a delicate platinum band. My mom always said my dad liked the way the sapphire matched her eyes. I don't know how Jax knew I always dreamed of wearing it on my finger someday.
"Jax," I whisper, tears spilling down my cheeks.
"I went to see your mom this morning to ask her permission," he says, reaching for my hand. "She went with me to the cemetery to talk to your dad."
I sob his name this time.
"Don't know if he'd approve of me for you, but I do know no one will ever love you more than I do, Jessa. No one will ever protect you like I will, or worship you like I do. You're the best thing in my life, the only thing I want. I'd give up every single bit of this and still die happy if I had you. Marry me."
"Yes," I sob, throwing myself into his arms right there on the floor.
"Fuck," he whispers, clutching me to his chest. He buries his face in my hair, exhaling a shaky breath. "You're marrying me."
"I am," I whisper.
He exhales another shaking breath. His entire body is trembling beneath mine, making it clear he wants this as badly as I do. I've always been so damn afraid to hope, thinking someone like him could never want someone like me, that he could never love me as much as I do him. But he does. Somehow, he's really mine.
He composes himself long enough to slip my mom's ring on my finger. Emotion flares bright as the sun in his eyes. He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing them to my ring and then to the back of my hand. I've never seen him look as happy as he does right now, as satisfied as he does. It practically blazes in his eyes, that rich mocha color and the golden flecks scattered throughout turning darker.
"Jax," I whimper as a blast of heat hits me. One minute, I'm crying happy tears. The next, my entire body is aching. And it hurts. God, it hurts everywhere. I squirm around, trying to relieve the ache, but it only makes it worse. It's as if seeing that look in his eyes brought four long years of need racing to the surface all at once.
"Fuck," he curses, letting me know that he feels it too. He wraps his arms around me and rises to his feet. If moving me is hard, he doesn't show it. He makes it seem effortless, as if he doesn't notice my extra weight at all. His grip is possessive, his rough hands holding me like he's afraid I may turn to smoke and disappear.
I won't. There's nothing in the world that could take me from him now. He had my heart long ago. He's had my trust since I met him. Now I'm his completely, every cell in me branded with his name. I'm clinging to him with both hands. Forever.
He thrusts one hand into my hair, gripping it tight. He uses it to pull my head back. It feels so good I moan out loud. Another bolt of white-hot desire rips through me. His mocha eyes meet mine, and then his lips are on mine.
His kiss is full of possession, of ownership. It's hard and dark and deep. He growls against my lips, licking into my mouth as if he intends to taste every single part of me. It's as if having my ring on his finger has set free his obsession, given it a safe place to grow. I feel it in the way he runs his hand over my ass, and in the way he bites my lip.
This is the beast that looks at me like I'm dinner, the man who's been as desperate for me as I have been for him. He doesn't simply kiss me this time. He consumes me, leaves me gasping for breath and trembling for more at the same time.
He backs me up step by step, stopping between each one to kiss me again. Little rumbles start in his chest, vibrating against my lips. His touch grows harder, more demanding. I run my hands all over him, trying to touch him everywhere at the same time.
He helps me work his suit jacket off. We leave it in a heap on the floor.
His tie follows, yanked free and discarded where we stand.
"Slow, baby," he croons when I try to get his buttons undone with uncoordinated, needy fingers. He grabs my hands, stilling them. Before I can protest, he squeezes them and then releases them to work through his buttons himself. Unlike me, he's able to get them undone quickly.
My legs tremble as the silky white fabric parts, revealing tantalizing peeks of his golden skin. I knew Jax was ripped. I was not prepared for the reality of it. His upper body is sculpted from rock hard muscle, his golden skin flawless. His upper body is littered with tattoos I've never seen before now.
The large tattoo along his ribcage catches my eye. A small white rabbit sits in a field of grass, staring up at the wolf standing over it. The wolf seems…protector more than predator. It only takes one look for me to know it's me and him. Us.
"Jax," I whisper in awe, tracing my fingers over it. "When did you get this?"
"A while ago," he mutters.
"When?"
"Three years ago." His eyes meet mine, a quiet vulnerability in them that makes my heart race and flutter at the same time. He's worried what I'll think. "The first time I was deployed after meeting you."
I stare at him, shocked. If ever I needed proof that he's always felt the same way about me…it's standing in front of me. The full weight of his love settles over me like a warm blanket. From day one, he's been right there with me. I was just too blind, too afraid to see it.
"It's beautiful," I whisper, holding his gaze, letting him see how much I love it.
His relieved smile fills my heart with warmth.
"I have to show you something," I murmur, taking a step back when he reaches for me again. I grab the hem of my dress, which makes his nostrils flare and his eyes heat. I take a quick breath, fighting back the instinct to keep myself covered.
My body is far from perfect. My thighs are thick. My belly isn't flat. I have stretch marks. Part of me wants to hide those flaws from him. I think that's the part of me conditioned by society to feel as if I should hide my body, as if it's something to feel shame over. That's the part that says a man who looks like him could never find beauty in someone who looks like me.
The rest of me rebels against the side, refusing to let the opinions of others have a place here. I may never be what society says I should be, but I will never be less than beautiful to Jax. To him, I'm perfect exactly the way I am.
"Fucking hell," he breathes, palming his erection through his pants when I rip the dress off over my head in one quick move, knocking my glasses askew.
I push them back into place.
