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"You thought I'd forgotten?"
"I hoped you had," she admits, her voice small. Her gaze bounces away from mine before coming right back. "You were drunk."
"You think I was too drunk to know what I was doing?"
She shrugs a shoulder, fidgeting.
"I remember, rabbit."
"Oh."
"I shouldn't have done it."
That makes her fidget again. She deflates faster than a balloon with a hole in it, her shoulders slumping. Does she think I don't want to kiss her? I do, but I'd much prefer to be sober when it happens. Considering it's going to be my last first kiss, I'd like to be lucid enough to remember every second of it.
"Are you avoiding me because you wanted me to kiss you or because the thought of kissing me is truly that terrible?" I ask, hooking a finger under her chin to make her face me again.
"Yes."
"Yes to which, baby?"
"N-no." Her eyes widen in genuine distress. "We can't have this conversation right now, Jax. I'm working. You're my boss. It's not appropriate."
"Then come with me tomorrow."
"I can't."
I narrow my eyes on her.
"You're my boss," she says again.
"Is that all you want me to be to you, rabbit? Just your boss?"
"I…" She stops, her tongue darting out to wet her bottom lip. Her blue eyes rove over my face. I'm not sure what she's searching for or what she sees. Does she have the first clue how fucking desperate I am for her? How much I miss her? How many times I've picked up my phone to call her, only to stop because I wasn't sure if she felt the same way about me?
I've never lacked confidence or been insecure. I know what women say about me. I see the way they look at me. My SEAL team used to give me shit all the time for the way I look, and for the way women react to me. But Jessa is so far out of my league it's ridiculous. I'm not nearly stupid enough to think I deserve her just because a man I didn't know keeled over, leaving me a fortune I don't want.
"No," she whispers finally, allowing me to take a breath. I lose it again a second later. "But what I want doesn't matter, Jax. You're my brother's best friend. We're your family. I'm not breaking up our family just because I want things I shouldn't. Besides, you're my boss. It wouldn't be any more appropriate for me to go with you tomorrow night than it is to be having this conversation now."
I stare at her for a minute, trying to gauge whether or not I should push the issue. But I can tell by the look in her eyes that pushing her right now won't get me anywhere but frozen out. She's a scared little rabbit, running for her life.
I don't know what she's so afraid of, but it's clear that she is afraid of something. I doubt it's public ridicule for dating her boss. I don't think it's losing Cyrus either. She knows her brother wouldn't ever abandon her whether she was with me or not.
I'm just not sure what that leaves.
I will find out though.
"Fair enough," I mutter, letting her off the hook for now. This conversation is far from over, but I'll table it for now, come up with a different approach. I lean forward and press my lips to her cheek. Her skin is so soft. I have to fight the urge to move a couple inches to the left to taste her lips. "I'll wait downstairs to make sure you get home safely."
"You don't have to do that, Jax," she whispers, her voice shaking.
"I want to do it."
She huffs like she's annoyed at me.
I pretend not to hear her and slip back into the backroom, already working on a new plan.
