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My sandwich still in one hand, I wrapped her up in a big hug and lifted her off her feet.
“I love you too, Mom.” She ruffled my hair again after I set her down, and she kissed my cheek with a gigantic smile.
“Are you still coming shopping with me in the morning for your dad?”
“Of course. Maybe we can catch a movie too?” Guys my age didn’t want to spend time with their parents, but I did. Especially my mom. She was the best woman on the planet.
She winked and shot me a finger gun. What a dork. “It’s a date.”
She leaned over and took a bite of my sandwich before returning to her office. I took my own bite and smiled as I watched her walk away.
A lone tear travels down my cheek, but I ignore it. She went shopping without me the next day because I was sleeping off the world’s worst alcohol and cocaine hangover in Vanessa’s bed with her naked body draped over mine. Yea, not my best moment. I don’t even remember how it happened. One second I was watching Amanda with her boyfriend, feeling all sorts of jealous. Then Vanessa was in my lap and we were making out. I lost my virginity to her that night, but I still don’t remember it to this day.
Brody found me and took me home, where cop cars were waiting for us. I thought someone had ratted me out about the cocaine and they were taking me to Juvie. It was so much worse. I’d never seen my dad like that. Pure devastation seemed carved into his features after that day.
Over the years, I ran through every scenario that could have prevented her death. We could have been in a movie, or a different store, or having an early lunch because I was always hungry. I could have stopped the man from shooting her. I could have protected her. But I wasn’t there. I let my mom and my family down because I was being an idiot.
But my mom’s death wasn’t an accident. Someone deliberately ended her life. Does that change things? The guilt is still there, but anger sits next to it now. My dad shouldn’t have kept this from me. I know he thought it was for the best. But now I have more questions than answers.
I turn when the sliding door opens. Liv comes over and settles between my legs, curling up on her side against my chest. I wrap my arms around her and rest my lips against her head. “What happened today?” she asks.
I rub her arm and sigh. “Nothing you need to worry about, babe.”
She looks up and kisses me before settling into my arms. Her presence alone soothes my aching soul and strengthens my resolve. I failed my parents, but I won’t fail her.
