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My stomach growled with hunger, but I couldn’t imagine putting anything in my mouth. There was melted chocolate there, for the pancakes and the waffles, but just the sight of it made me flinch. I was never eating chocolate again. How incredible it was that a man could make me whole and break me apart again in a span of a few hours. How had I been so blind as to put that much power in his hands?
“I’m sorry, Teddy,” Sandra said so suddenly, I stopped playing with the food I wasn’t intending to eat and looked at her.
“What for?”
She shrugged. “For whatever you’re going through. It doesn’t look easy.” Her jaw clenched before she took a bite of her bacon.
“That’s okay. Nothing worth it is ever easy.” I cringed at myself. I needed to delete Instagram asap.
“They should be back by noon,” Sandra continued, pretending she didn’t notice that I wasn’t eating.
“Good.” By noon, I’d be at the airport, hopefully on a plane back home, if I was lucky.
Because I was done with this. I was done with Dominic and this mission and everything around it.
And maybe…I was done with Manhattan, too. My mind was half made up to request a transfer to a different city. Any other place would do—I wouldn’t be picky. Any place where there was no Dominic Dane to make my life miserable without my even knowing about it would be perfect. As much as I wanted to give up on everything and just go back home to Everer, be with my family, I knew myself too well. I knew I’d regret it as soon as I was there.
No. I would not let this get in the way of the life I wanted to live. I was going to be an ODP agent if the world caught fire and burned tomorrow.
I would just do it away from Dominic Dane. He would not get in my way anymore, not for any reason.
“The testing will take place tonight,” Sandra said after a while. “Not that they tell me anything. I’m just the makeup woman.” She rolled her eyes. “But I did hear that that’s where the crew will come in. As soon as those guys show up.”
There was something in her voice. Maybe I was imagining it—which was very possible, considering—but it was strained, and she hardly met my eyes, and every time she smiled at me, she looked sorry. I hadn’t known her long enough for her to have reason to worry about my state of being right now. I appreciated that she did, but it didn’t sit well with me.
I dropped the fork on the table and looked at her. “You don’t need to do that. I’m fine. I moved away from my home at twenty-one, which might not be a big deal for the world here, but it is for a pixie. And I came into a completely foreign world, and I survived. I’ll survive this, too. I’m okay, I promise.” Just stop smiling at me like that.
“Of course you are,” she said, her voice completely transformed. “You’re much tougher than you look. The agents keep talking about you. At least three of them have crushes on you and not all of them men.” She winked. “I think your Chief will be hearing good things about you in their report.”
“Thanks,” I said with a forced smile. “It was a pleasure working with them. And with you.”
“Believe me, the pleasure was all mine.”
At least this time when she smiled, it was completely genuine.
I packedmy backpack with the few things I’d taken with me. Strange how that night felt like it happened a few years ago, not a few days. I left the gun Tailsburry had given me on the breakfast table, too. Too bad I hadn’t gotten the chance to use it, but oh, well. Then, I went around the hotel room to search for anything I could have forgotten. All I found was the pen that I’d given to Dominic, the ink enchanted with germin powder and his blood. I wanted to leave it there, but I took it and put in my back pocket instead.
“Fuck you, Dominic Dane.” He wasn’t getting anything from me.
I also took the shirt I’d slept in—his shirt—and I threw it in the bathroom trashcan. He couldn’t even have my scent with him at all. I’d called the airline as soon as Sandra left, and the next flight back to Manhattan departed at twelve-thirty. I’d have to wait at the airport a couple of hours, but that was okay. I’d rather be out there than in here, suffocated by the smell of him, the memories of him. The tears kept pricking the back of my eyes, but every time they did, I told myself what I needed to hear.
“Not worth it. I’ve already cried. Now, I move on.”
And that’s exactly what I was going to do.
So much for my very first mission. So much for proving my worth.
I left all the clothes Sandra had made for me in the bedroom closet. I still felt guilty for not telling her that I was planning to leave, but there was always the chance that she’d call someone and tell them, and I just couldn’t risk it. She would understand, though. I knew she would.
With one last look around the bedroom, backpack hanging on my shoulder, I released a long breath. The diamond was still around my neck. I would leave it in the living room, right where I’d left my gun, where they’d find it as soon as they came in. But it was done. Already over. I was never going to see this room again, and I was leaving everything that happened here behind this door. My chest kept getting stabbed repeatedly, and my hand shook when I reached for the handle, but I gritted my teeth, more determined than ever.
But a second before I turned the handle, the entrance one clicked open. I barely heard it, but it was the unmistakable sound of a door opening, and my heart crashed on my heels again.
Too late. I’d been too late. Dominic was already back.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered to myself and pulled the door open.
The silence I was met with in the living room confused me. The fact that all the blinds were drawn and the overhead lights were on was strange. I was so sure sunlight had lit up that room just a few minutes ago. I looked around, sure I’d see Dominic and the other agents there already, preparing their laptops like they usually did, but there was nobody there.
