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“Watching you, I see it shouldn’t be that way. I guess I never had to face that the boy needed a mother figure. He had—” she cuts off. “Listen to me. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this.”
I want to tell her that I do. I’m nosy and this is some Maury shit, I wasn’t expecting from this prim and proper woman. I get lost in my thoughts as we enter the playroom and set up for tea.
Of all the things I’m still hurt and angry about, I don’t think I can place Chloe on that list. I don’t know when it happened, but this little girl has stolen my heart. I want to see her happy. If I can fill a void for her, I’m here.
“I’ll have them bring us some finger food. We can have lunch while we’re at it,” Eileen says, breaking into my musing.
“Sounds good. I’ve worked up an appetite.”
“I’m sure you have. How’s the painting coming along?”
“It’s doing. The love is still there. I think that’s the biggest thing I was worried about when I stood before the first canvas. I was afraid I lost the love.”
“Um,” Eileen hums. “Sounds familiar.”
My cheeks heat but I don’t want to dig into her words or go down that road. Instead, I take a seat at this little round table in the center of the playroom. My thoughts go to finding Brodi in here a few days ago, sitting with Chloe as they had their own tea party.
She was so happy to have the attention. Yeah, this little girl needs a friend more than I need to hold a grudge I shouldn’t have against her. As I take a seat at the tiny table and Chloe climbs into my lap instead of sitting in her own chair, I know I’ll be here for her as long as she needs.
She’s not her father and his choices. She’s a baby in need of love and comfort. I can relate.
“You will make a wonderful mother,” Eileen says a few hours later as we wrap up our tea party. Chloe is now asleep in my arms.
Tears fill my eyes, but I hold them in. I give her a nod as words won’t come. She rubs a hand up and down my arm before she takes Chloe so she can place her in her room.
I go to my studio, close the door and slide down it to the floor, landing on my butt. I pull my knees into my chest and start to sob. To be a mother, I have to have a partner I trust. Since I can’t seem to allow anyone else in, I either need to find a way to forgive Brodi or give up on ever being a mom.
“Mommy, I wish you were here. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared,” I cry, feeling like a lost child.
