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Chapter 40
Going Home
Chloe
It’s time to return home and I’m not too sure how I feel about that. Here in Dubai, Gregor has become someone else in my mind entirely. I fear going back home to the reminders of my real life and remembering that he’s still Brodi.
Like I told Gregor the other night, the last few weeks have been magical—I’ve remained in the moment. Eileen has been talking about the huge plans she has for the ceremony when we return home, but I don’t think that will compare to our intimate wedding.
Standing before just Gregor and the officiant while draped in white—after being pampered and given a twenty-four-karat facial—I felt like a princess or something. My greatest fear is that I’ve been carried away into a fairy tale and when it all comes crumbling down, it will explode in my face.
I mean, we’ve been living like a king and queen since the wedding. When we’re not off on some adventure, we’re home with Chloe playing the role of a perfect family. Looking from the outside in, you’d never know the festering pain that lies within our relationship.
Honestly, my heart is still rattling around in my chest. Yet, the time we spend together—whether with Chloe or not—just feels right. Which totally confounds me.
From time to time, I find myself looking at her with thoughts of what if, but those moments are becoming less painful as Chloe clings to me as if I were her mother.
“Are you all right?” Gregor asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I look up from the suitcase I should be packing and give him a weak smile. He puts down the stack of shirts in his hands and rounds the bed to me. The first thing to engulf me is his scent.
“I’m just thinking,” I say as he wraps his arms around me from behind.
“Nothing is going to change. We will go home and move forward with our lives as man and wife. Clayton and I will figure out who’s behind all of this drama and then we’ll focus on what we want to do next,” he says as if reading my mind.
“Meanwhile, we’ll be attending our engagement party and planning a wedding,” I say as I turn to face him.
“Yes,” he says cautiously. “Humor my mother, you saw how pissed she was with me for taking you off to marry you. I’m sure my father is going to have something to say as well. They need to keep up their appearances, after all.”
“Don’t you think this is all… a lot? You’re taking a wife and child home with you. A child you were hiding and a wife you secretly married. It’s bound to cause some type of drama,” I say.
His brows are drawn as he looks at me. I can see the wheels turning. Those gray eyes pierce me in a way that stops me from breathing.
“What drama, Cee?” he says gently. “You and my daughter belong to me. As far as everyone back home knows, you and I were already engaged anyway. No one has to be the wiser there. I will tell my brothers and father whatever I feel like sharing.
“These last four weeks haven’t been some fantasy we’ve created within our own bubble. My feelings for you are real. Everything I’ve done has been genuine. I will continue to pamper you, shower you with gifts and love, and do my best to restore your love for me.
“That’s my only focus when we return home. You and Chloe are all that matter to me,” he says.
I look away, not wanting him to see how his words affect me. He reaches for my face to turn it back to him. Our gazes meet and I see so much vulnerability staring back at me.
“Learn to trust me again, baby. I’ve done nothing but show you that you can.”
I pull away and turn back to my packing. He’s right. He’s done everything to reassure me that he cares for me, including marrying me.
Still, in the back of my mind, I just can’t reconcile the way I still feel with the man standing before me. I’ve tried, but there are moments when I look at him and think of all the pain I’ve been through.
Which is why you shouldn’t have married him. What were you thinking?
I honestly don’t know what made me say yes. As much as I hate to admit it, there is a part of me that needs him. I hate it, but it’s a truth I bear.
He’s still at my back as I place more items into my suitcase. He sighs heavily but kisses my shoulder before going back to packing his things. Silence fills the room as I get lost in my thoughts again.
“This will always be your choice,” he says quietly.
I look up to find his eyes on me. He pushes a hand through his hair. I crease my brows.
“If we return home and you feel a year is too long. Whenever you want out… it’s your choice. Say the words,” he says, before turning and leaving the room.
I stare after him. Relief runs through me with the false security of his offer. He may be offering me an out, but I know it’s not real. Or it could be that some part of me doesn’t want it to be real.
I sit on the bed and place my head in my hands. I don’t know why my brain can’t separate the difference between the old Brodi and this man I’ve fallen in love with. I freeze.
That’s not the first time I’ve allowed myself to admit that truth. I’ve fallen in love with him, and I think that’s what scares me most. He has crept his way around my wall and defenses.
“What the hell do I do now?” I blow out.
