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"Oh, well, goodie for you."
God, this whole thing was so annoying. I wasn't even mad, just anxious to get back to Josh.
Where was the stupid ring? It had to be in here somewhere.
"Jess, I'm so sorry... so fucking sorry that I cheated on you."
Pausing in my search, I turned to look at him, for the first time really seeing him in the light of the bedroom. Dark circles set off his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a good while, his hair not even styled.
For some reason, I felt a sudden twinge of pity, surprising me. No, shocking me. "Thanks for the apology."
The look in his eyes became hopeful. "So you forgive me?"
"I guess." I shrugged and turned back to my dresser, determined to find this sucker. Sensing his movement closer, I added, "Doesn't mean I want to get back together or anything."
The quiet that followed that statement nearly burst my eardrums. How could silence be so deafening?
"Can I tell you something, Jess?"
"Um, sure," I mumbled, sifting through the pile of single socks that had no match. Why had I bothered to keep them? Did I think the other one would magically show up someday? I needed to do a serious declutter in my life.
"You were the best thing that ever happened to me. It took losing you to figure that out."
"Losing me? You make it sound like I randomly broke up with you for no reason."
"That's not at all what I mean. Not at all. You—you just were everything, gave me all of yourself, and I took that for granted, took you for granted, thought that it would be like that with other girls."
"Oh, so things didn't go too well with Violet, huh?" I said, now plowing through my underwear, even the ones in the back that were stretched out or had holes in them, those desperate pairs that I only wore when I went too long without washing my clothes. I absolutely despised doing laundry.
"No, if I'm being honest. She was not at all the person I thought she was. And the truth is..."
That was it. I needed to dump the whole drawer out. With all my might, I yanked the thing from the dresser and flipped out the contents onto my unmade bed.
"And the truth is," Devon continued, "I've realized now that no one will ever compare to you."
Oh, geez. What a mess. Was that my blue bikini top that I'd been looking for since last summer? And my absolute favorite black bra? And here I thought someone had stolen that out of the laundry room.
"Are you even listening to me?" Devon asked.
"Huh?" I turned to look at him again. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing, I mean, nothing compares to you."
An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. "Please don't start quoting songs to me. Look, I appreciate what you're trying to say. And I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm apologizing for. I'm not the one who cheated," I mumbled more to myself than to him. "But anyway, cheating or not, I've come to the realization that we're just not meant to be. We never were meant to be really. I don't think we're right for each other. Period."
His face grew pale, and I could tell I had stunned him.
Josh's shower knobs squeaked, making me realize I needed to shoo Devon out of here. I still needed a shower myself, and I didn't want Josh to be alone on his birthday night. If I hadn't promised him something for later, I was sure he'd be hanging out with his friends right now, continuing the party.
Determined, I faced the pile on my bed, not worried about the even larger mess I was creating, and I started to dig. I had to find this motherfucker. Like yesterday. Flinging underwear, bras, and socks to all corners of the room, I tore that chaos apart in a flash. When I was almost at the end, I lifted a strappy piece of lingerie that I'd never been able to figure out, and there it was!
Aha! Grabbing the little box, I opened it to be sure the ring was there. Yep.
I let out a relieved breath and closed the distance between Devon and me. "All right. Here ya go," I said in a firm voice while handing him the box.
His lips compressed in a tight line, he stared at me. "So it's really over?"
God, did I fight that eye-roll. "Yes, it's over. Done. Finished. Move on dot org."
