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Such hunger. Such need. It set off electricity that burned through every nerve ending, pooling low in my belly until desire absolutely consumed me like a flame.
Again and again, his lips captured mine, tasting, sucking, our tongues tangling together, exploring each other.
Time seemed to stop as if nothing else in this world mattered right now, only Josh and this amazing connection between us.
His lips told me everything. I felt wanted. I felt desired.
But I wanted more. I wanted all of him. I wanted to forget everything else in my life except this moment in time.
My hands began to move, touching him, feeling every inch of that glorious chest that was already bare of course. My fingers set off goosebumps along his heated skin as my hands explored every ridge of hard muscle, moving from his chest down to his abs and then even lower, skimming the waistband of his shorts.
At that, he pulled back, both of us catching our breaths, staring at each other. "Jess," he breathed.
My fingers paused in their quest, sensing that he wanted to say something.
I pulled my hand away suddenly as I read the look on his face. He was hesitating. He was going to stop me. I just knew it.
Feeling burned yet again, I flung my body away, facing the wall, roughly pulling the sheets up between us. "I'm such an idiot," I mumbled into the pillow, feeling completely humiliated once again.
His hands began to lightly stroke my hair, gently like I might break. "You're not an idiot. Don't even say that."
"What's wrong with me? Why does nobody want me?"
"That's not true." Again, his body surrounded mine, and he shoved his hips into me. "You feel that? That's how much I fucking want you."
I could feel that. Definitely, I could feel that. Turning to face him once more, I found his eyes so close to me. "Then why'd you pull away?"
Swallowing thickly, he hesitated for several heartbeats while I studied his face. "Because..." he began. "I want you. God, do I want you. But not like this. Not while you're still thinking of Devon."
"But I'm not thinking of Devon right now," I argued.
He sighed, lifting strands of hair from my cheek. "I don't want to be a rebound."
"But—but—"
Yet again, his hands were in my hair with such tenderness, it completely stopped my train of thought, and I didn't know what to make of it. "I want you to want me," he said.
Was he kidding? Did Josh actually like me? All I could do was stare into that gorgeous face of his, amazed that he'd said that, shocked more like it.
"And I know that's a song, and it's not very original of me," he said, smiling. "But it's fucking true."
I couldn't believe it, but I found myself returning his smile. How could I be smiling so soon after finding out about Devon? Ugh, Devon. My smile faded as quickly as it formed.
"It'll all be okay," Josh said, almost reading my mind.
I nodded, not quite sure I believed him. "Why does everything hurt so much right now?"
He pulled me closer to him, tucking my head under his chin and into his chest. "It's just going to take time."
What could I say to that? In some ways, he was right. I knew from my experience with my dad that time could help a little. At least now, I could function, unlike the days and weeks after he'd disappeared.
But also, that particular heartache was like an oozing wound that would never fully heal. So time wasn't always the answer. I wished with all my heart I knew what the answer was. Maybe there was no answer. Like Josh had told me recently, most things in life were gray, not black and white like we wanted them to be.
His hand moved to my back, making comforting circles against my tank top, and I inhaled deeply, drawing his essence in, something about him so incredibly addictive.
"I've got you, Jess," he whispered. "I've got you."
